I find myself frequently in the struggle of 'is this testimony' or 'is this coming across self-absorbed'?
There is no doubt, I was born to be a writer.
Nothing frustrates me more than not getting every word right and nothing gives me a better high than nailing it in words. (Well, except hearing from our Lord or truly connecting with another being.)
But writing... I twist over it.
I love every letter and every new way to use it.
Now that I've let myself have a voice,
-->I want to challenge myself to be a better writer. <--
I have been given an incredible opportunity to write as part of my living, over at blog.chesbank.com.
I'd like to do more there and on other platforms.
I am also taking a Marketing Writers Bootcamp by Marketing Profs.
Yet at the exact same time, I want to say less. Not just in a single post, but in the day-to-day.
I want to do more, without being distracted about how to describe it.
To make sure that my babies and my husband hear the passion of my heart before the keyboard.
My word this year was tremble.
The thought of coming up with a new way to be (not that this version is bad).
-Makes me tremble.
I like that.
When I started this blog it was because I wanted to know what the good Lord had to say to me. What MY faith could look like. Not what I've been told. Not what I read about through others.
and so it unfolded. (like the verse states.) Man is the Word true!
But I've been feeling like I am spinning my wheels.
I think that it's because I've gotten comfortable.
Comfortable is the scariest place to be.
Growth happens outside of comfortable.
I want that.
I may not know how two polar opposite directions can work together. -Or if one will overpower the other. But I know most certainly that I am turning a corner. The Lord will work it out in time.
While it may seem premature to start a new page, I know for sure that it's time to let go of this girl and this place.
So for a few reasons, I've opened the new site over on word press.
Although, I ended up changing the name altogether.
You see, my birth name is Lucienne.
As it turns out it means 'bringer of light'.
I always wanted to be a writer. I never knew what I would write. I always wanted to have a testimony but didn't know what I would say. And all of us are looking for our purpose.
Somehow my sole purpose in pursuing God brought the writer out in me. The light of who I am is getting brighter. --Who God is in me. Who he designed me to be.
I have realized so much about insecurity and well-
perhaps this little bit of spinning my wheels is because I've somehow still been trying to hold on.
There is nothing more that I want to be, than to completely embrace the woman God wove together.
I thought about keeping the name the same on a new domain.
But really, if I hadn't have sought God first and poured my heart out here... I am not sure that the next journey would take place.
But that's what He promises right - purpose in Him? -Purpose in being you. -The you that HE created.
You only get that by being submersed in Him.
So the new site is called https://purposeinthelight.wordpress.com/
Whether or not you choose to follow. Don't keep your story from yourself or to yourself.
Let it free. Let it change you. Seek his face and be blessed.
I took this picture earlier this summer while walking down a path with my kids. It seems to summarize exactly how I feel at this junction. There is a road forward, rounding a corner, leading out of sight. But first- a bench to rest on.
Yet they go hand in hand.