A little I.O.U. to the BIG guy!

I've got a testimony that I've been sitting on and I just need to come clean with it! Oddly enough, it's not a bad one. It's a great one! I've just been worried that it will come across like I am trying to boast about myself instead of glorifying God. But I don't only want to talk about how I see God help me in the storm. I want to talk about those radical ah-has that got my attention!

In 2012 I shared my first testimony. In 2013 I changed my life to focus only on family and God. I also started writing as a bi-product of that. On a June day, I posted a prayer. I felt strange as I did it but I had made a challenge for myself with God that I would accept every opportunity to pray out loud for a year in hopes to overcome my fear of doing it. I felt like this post was just another variation of that challenge. So, I accepted. One of the many lines of that prayer included "show me one new thing that I miss in my every other day".

It took me two weeks to write about it but THAT VERY SAME DAY the motor in my 4Runner blew. It might not sound like such a great God testimony at first but hang in there.

ALL of the events of that day really spoke to me. I had such a feeling of his nearness. True joy & true peace. A calmness, unlike me, that just covered me. Everyone that was involved seem to have the same phrase "never seen that before" which just made me tune in that much more to my earlier prayer and what he might be doing. Little things also made me see how he provided during the storm.

As it turns out replacing/repairing the motor in that year 4Runner is double-triple what I anticipated it to be. We weren't in a position to buy a car or even fix this one. From the moment it broke, I knew that God was going to have to be involved in the solution. But he met my need along the way at every junction.

It actually took a few months for us to decide what to do. So August comes along. We still don't have any money. A relative offers to help but really can't do more than what the motor costs and the 4Runner needed more work before this issue. We're not sure which direction to go. We look for cars that might match that allowance but sadly, even though it's a lot of money to me, we couldn't seem to find a vehicle that matched what we had to give.

I once heard Joyce Meyer talk about a bracelet that she gave away. It was a foreign concept to me that God might want me to give up a "thing" that belong to me in order to make someone else happy [or even to give him glory]. I mean sure it's easy to give up old clothes and broken dishes especially when someone else needs them. But why would he want me to give up something I liked; something I loved and was even given or blessed with? I mean I did "earn" it, right? Funny how we think that...

But something else that she said resonated with me even more. She said that God told her "Once I tell you to give something away, it no longer belongs to you, and if you keep it after that, it will never give you joy"

I never considered myself to be a "things" kind of person. However, some memories of my childhood were harder than others. We moved a lot and so we never kept anything. We didn’t have much money and so what we did have was usually second hand if we didn’t go without. -Not that there is any shame in that but because of that, a pair of diamond earrings that I had made me feel special.

Not only that they were sentimental. I know that I received them as a blessing from God but I also received them from a person that I deeply love.

Then one day on my knees in prayer over this situation, I was considering things that I might have to sell. These earrings suddenly came to mind. It will sound ridiculous but I sat in my closet and sobbed. Not over having to get rid of things but it almost felt more like a sob of repentance for storing some kind of worth [maybe even my own] or value in things. The moment was brief and when it was over, I just knew that they had to go.

I tried to sell them but even with the rising cost of gold, I couldn't even get a third of what they were worth. Because they were special; what I was offered monetarily just wasn't enough to justify my getting rid of them even if it was just a contribution toward my issue.

But Malachi 3:10 just kept circling.

So again, in prayer I asked God what he was trying to get me to see. I just kept feeling like I needed to give them up for God. I remembered that story from Joyce. I thought about holding onto them and then possibly losing them later. Then I would be without the obedience and possibly still without the earrings. I can't explain the urgency that I felt but I needed to be free of them at once. Maybe because I simply didn't trust myself to not try to dictate who he wanted to have them.

So, I wrote two letters. One to my preacher and one to the "recipient" [if my preacher felt like it was appropriate]. The letter to my preacher contained my explanation and I am going to share one paragraph from it below:

"I am in a real place of need now. Not just monetarily but spiritually and even physically. I want to be in alignment with God more than anything else. I feel like this was just one more stone that needed to be plucked loose. (pun intended) I am thankful that I don’t need “things” to feel special anymore. I am also thankful that much like the two coins, he accepts what we have. The world might not buy what we have to sell but if it’s the only treasure that we have and if we give it to him; he not only accepts it but he can do more with it than the world ever could!"

My letter to the other person contained a testimony about something that I was given and a promise that I felt from God because of it. (Ask me about it sometime and I will share it with you.) I met my preacher on the corner and gave him a box with the two letters.

Meanwhile, family offered to help us find something newer than what we'd been looking for. I cringed but following my husband's lead, I went along. I prayed for God to give me an answer. I didn't want anyone going into debt on our behalf or even paying for that kind of expense. When we came to the first van, we opened the back and tears just started pouring from my eyes. ...It sounds silly, I know.  -But there was the same "nearness" in the tears.

If that wasn't enough when we sat at the table the salesman, JJ, tried to close the deal. I just couldn't commit. When he asked why, I explained about our truck and how family would have to help. We didn't technically have any money to give him right then. Then in one of those "Godly & coincidental" kind of ways the salesman (whom we've never met before) started giving a testimony about how God helped him in a real time of need and he used the generosity of others to bless him. Then he just kept repeating, "If someone wants to bless you, you should let them." I was still crying... just so much more by this point.

I know that someone on the other side of this screen is thinking "Of course he'd say that, he's trying to sell you a car!" But you'd have to have been there. My husband who, if the truth be told, is not really sure how he feels about God and who is also a man that is usually pretty itchy about talking to people. And yet, this same husband was chillin' at the table like he had all day to sit there with a car salesman. Seriously, we were there over an hour just talking about God. Not only that I am crying like a fool and JJ is practically preaching. It was a surreal moment. I mean can you just try to picture this for a second!?!

When JJ asks why I am still crying if someone wants to bless me... Colin just shakes his head and says my wife likes to hear people talking about good things! (And boy do I. Can somebody puh-lease tell me a testimony about blessings!!)

Even so, things were moving so fast. We needed to step back for a moment. I needed to pray and there were some other vans that we wanted to look at. So we stopped at a few dealerships on the way home.

In the next day or two, I got a phone call at work and thought it was a salesman for a van but it turns out that it was our youth pastor. We laughed about how I thought he was trying to sell me something. Then he asked if we were looking. I explained the situation. He asked if I'd like him to post an anonymous ministry need on his Facebook page. It felt a little weird but I said sure. I'd actually had peace since the motor went out and I had peace now too.

The next day when my youth pastor called to tell me that a family had a car that they wanted to donate, I really wasn't surprised but all I could muster up was "wow"... I was literally speechless. I mean what do you say to that other than Thank You God! -And thank you Ed and please, oh please, THANK THAT FAMILY!

This conversation is a little hard for me to figure out how to have with my husband. He doesn't know Ed or this family and this element of faith is a new area for both of us.  ...I know that it's a God thing but how on earth will I be able to convince him that I'd rather have the car. But it's too late. My husband and the relative have already found a van that they wanted to get.

I could have pushed the issue but while I may not always act it, I do feel a tremendous amount of respect for my husband and I do want to also respect his wishes. In this scenario, I feel like God has plainly met a need and revealed himself in it in either outcome. I try to talk to Colin but truthfully, the timing for this discussion is just never right. I blurt it out but can't possibly connect all of the dots in just a few moments. (In fact it has taken me 2 years to get it spelled out here.)

It ends up that we go with the Van. I call Ed and tell him to bless another family with the car and he has a perfect family in mind. (Gosh I wish that I could've been there when Ed told them the news!)

Now before you start trying to rationalize all of this; go back and read the prayer when I discovered my 4Runner was broken. "I want a running vehicle. Heck, a new car is just fine. I boldly ask for it. Why not?" - Did he not give me both! You can credit my family with one but how do you explain the other? Does his word not say "Come Boldy" and to ask for ALL THINGS.

But aside from that, I prayed for some other stuff even BEFORE the truck messed up. Read the last two paragraphs of the original prayer.

"If it's my rules that destroy my visibility, take me back to infancy. When I was so fresh from you, that I was not aware of my own desire. Did I then know, where I came from? Reduce me to tears and no other form of words. To be satisfied with what you give instead of what I want. -When I had no choice but to see what only you set before me. Even then, I am sure that I could not retain all of you but would I be able to see more? 

Prepare my heart God so that I can see, then show me at least one new thing that I miss in my every other day. Make this day new. Find me worthy of your secrets. My heart so longs to know more."

I mean "Reduce me to tears" and "Return me to infancy" -what does that even mean???? Don't feel weird. I had no idea either. I thought it was odd when I said it. But I have discovered that it was my heart [or my spirit man] asking to unlearn things that were holding me back in my faith. So that he could teach me what he wanted me to know about him instead.

If you know me at all, you know that I've become a crier. I might have cried at other points in my life. Maybe even all through my life. Truthfully, I can't remember how often. But I can tell you that during the last two years I have been a wet mess. (A good mess but a wet one! And literally choked up "as no other form of words") And as much as I want to explain it, I simply cannot tell you how I know that all of this crying is a God thing but I know that he is working in me with every.single.tear that falls!

When I told my preacher that I wanted my heart to be right with God, to give up superficial special things in order to right me.... Well he answered that too and made me see how insecure that I was. Gosh and I know that sometimes I might even portray the faithful life as only a struggle and maybe even condemn myself too much but I know that I know THAT I KNOW that God is with me now! And he promises to right ALL my paths that aren't straight!!!

And even still, I know that someone else saying, well if this is God and he did this for you why hasn't he done this for me or for anyone else that I know. Let me just tell you how much I have struggled with giving this testimony. For that reason...! In fact I have struggled more over this than giving up the earrings.

I don't know where you are in your life right now. But I once took an Experiencing God study. In this study there is a moment that is referred to as a "Crisis of Belief". In January 2013, I hit mine. I didn’t feel like my life was fitting quite right. I knew that it was finally time to stop going with the flow of life. I needed to pull over so that God could really do some work in me.

I started this strange little blogging/prayer/testimony thing. I actually had no idea what a blog even was or why exactly [at first] that I was writing. But it was my way of listening. I started changing some habits. –Wrestling with a few others! But documenting every piece of it helped me see his hand in my life. And any little thing that I felt like God was telling me to do; I really tried to be sure to do them. 

I want to say that it's about obedience but it's so much more than that. It's about the desire behind your motives in your relationship with God. Anyone can be obedient. The things that you are doing, are you doing them because you have to or because you want to?

If you take anything away from this at all, do not let it be anything related to the prosperity gospel. If you think that I am telling you that coming into faith suddenly means you get the presents. TRUST me when I tell you, that is not true!! Heck, follow the lives of Joseph, Job, Jeremiah or countless others to confirm that! 

In fact if you want to know the truth, I was paying my full tithes and working in the church and my motor still blew and I still could not afford to fix it. Bad & hard things happen to faithful people! BUT God was able to show me something else in that hardship that I had been blind to! He provides what we need in our absences. I assure you that if you're struggling, God will meet you in that struggle.

Confess your issues and the status of your relationship with him. Accept him as your Lord so that you can hear his replies. Believe for once that he might just be able to reveal himself to you and then ask him to help you be obedient. But when he answers BE SURE to GIVE HIM THE GLORY!

Acquiring faith is hard work and some serious dedication. But when I rearranged my life to know him, he met me at every level that I sought him. He continues to do so.

I implore you to do the same! Please Believe!

Go backs

1. It's not only your obedience but your delight in being obedient.
2. I see God more during the act of obedience or after than I do before my obedience. When he reveals himself, it makes it easier to trust him again later. So obedience is not just about completing tasks but rather building faith. 
3. Be specific & be bold in prayer!
4. Do not get stuck on the thing that I gave. If this seems boastful to you, I can totally tell you some areas that God is working with me now where giving for me is hard. Let's talk about it. 
5. It is not about the monetary value of things. Sometimes it's about what the thing represents in your life. Or he might even ask us to give up things that don't make any sense to us because it will mean a whole lot to someone else. You may never get the answer as to why you had to give it but if you were obedient, I guarantee you will see his hand somewhere else, look for it!
6. The way that I received the earrings surprised me. The van and the car surprised me and I have had other similar situations both great and small where he continues to surprise me. If God does something once, Trust that he can do it again! 
7. 'It' is never yours or ours, we are just stewards. When God blesses you with something, see if you can use it in a way to share a testimony OR bless others with it and also include with a word of encouragement about their relationship with God [giving him glory]? When you have to give it up, will you give him glory once again?
8. If you're not sure how to have a testimony about it, set a reminder. Try to write down as many of the details as you possibly can because you might forget some of those details later. If you can't complete it, it might not be time. If it keeps coming to your heart, he might have more for you to know. Keep collecting details until it is finished. Then you will know that it's his timing!

Photo credit: http://lovethispic.com

Why you should join a small group

1. Time in the word – First and for most, any time that you spend in the word or deepening your faith will most definitely be time well spent! James 4:8 says Draw near to me and I will draw near to you. And really, who doesn’t want to be closer to God!?

2. New Friends – 1 Samuel 18:1 says "After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself." There is nothing better than a great friend. Especially one that feels closer than your siblings. What a blessing if that person is also a brother or sister in Christ that cares just as much, if not more, about your spiritual well-being!

3. Sharpening your iron -  This item actually refers to another verse but first I want to share a comment from a book that I am reading: (Acts 8:26-40 tells of Philip's encounter with an Ethiopian official, who was reading aloud the prophet Isaiah. "Do you really understand what you are reading?" Philip asked. The Ethiopian replied, "Without someone to guide me, how could I?" Acts 8:30-31). Quite simply, we are needed to guide each other.

Not only that, there's another passage that talks about the gifts of the spirit & functions of the body of Christ. None of us have all of the gifts. Nor are we all made to do the same things. Just like in the small group study you attend; some of the participants will be able to give you more doctrine, more details and/or facts to give you a better understanding of what was happening then; while others will have more insight on how to apply it to daily living. 

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. -Proverbs 27:17

4. Learn about Tips and Tools – When I first joined a study group myself, my friend Randy kept reading commentary from his Bible. Everything he said was like an “ah ha” to me. But my Bible didn’t have the same kind of information that he was reading. He told me that he used a Life Application Bible. I purchased one for myself and it made a huge difference in how I spent my time reading my own. In a group you can learn about tools, resources or other activities that you might not have known about otherwise.

5.You can ask your questions - Have you ever sat through a service and the preacher said something that you missed or didn't understand? You wanted to raise your hand to ask a question but you knew that it would interrupt.  Well in a group you can!  "Hey can you repeat that?  What the heck does that mean....?"  If you have your own "ah has", you can also share those too. In fact, whatever surprising tidbit you discovered might also be something that someone else finds exciting too!  (Oh and by the way, most preachers will be glad to go more in depth with you after the service.)

6. Facilitates unity between members – Small groups do build unity because of all of the above and because they offer a much more personal setting. 

7. Access to prayer warriors - Amen!

8. Connection - Bishop Robert Schnase, author of Five Practices says "Most new members will not feel like they really belong to the church until they find meaningful connections in small groups beyond the worship experience."  Just like in #6 except that it will help you connect to the church as a whole.

It is also much easier to go deeper in your faith or devote yourself to God when you are among others that are devoted to him. Let's also not forget that the Devil seeks out those who are isolated or alone. 

9. A place to talk about God - Yes, we are to share our testimony everywhere but it takes a while for a lot of us to get started or get comfortable doing it. A small group allows us to acclimate slowly to sharing ideas, knowledge and experiences.

***

Questions - Are you thinking about joining a church but can't figure out which one to start or where? Consider a small group. The following questions might help you determine the group that's right for you.

1. What small groups does your church offer?  Who leads them and are they separated by men, women, children or by subject?

2. Are they at the church or at some ones home?

3. Can you bring a friend?

4. Is there childcare or can you bring children?

5. Is a meal (usually covered dish) offered?

6. What is the subject of the study? Is it based off of a topic or a book of the Bible?

7. Are there additional books or material that I might be interested in for this study?

8. Are there any fees for meals, books, etc?

9. Dates, times & locations?

Photo Credit: http://newlifegoshen.com

Are you there yet?

I used to carry my camera everywhere until I started having kids. Actually, having Ethan propelled me to get my first my digital camera. But three babies and three cameras later; it just became easier to carry less. Not to mention the fact that it had become way too obvious that we were hard on electronics. Scaling back meant that I also started using my phone for pictures. Some of my earlier cell phones have taken decent pictures and so it wasn't a big deal. But I must say the iPhone has sorely disappointed me in this area.

The other night I was walking down the lane behind my house and saw this view. If it wasn't in someone else's yard, I might have sat there all night. You can't tell from the picture but the bottom crescent of the moon was glowing and behind the crescent you could see the remaining full moon shadow. Not only that but the little star to the left is actually Venus and not even a star. It was a pretty proud moment for me.  

It was one thing to be able to say that I took the picture but this shot didn't do it justice. The woods surrounding me were lit with a strange, even pink, hue. The ground was white with snow. In some ways it almost felt like I was on a set for a play. The image really doesn't capture the footage outside or around the frame of the picture. You really had to be there to get it. And I can say that I was! It was enchanting. 

This picture has made me decide that I will start carrying my camera again. Even if it's not top of the line, it might have brought me a picture that I could actually frame. Whereas now, I will only be able to save it here on a blog. As I considered the differences in pictures that I've seen online or in markets verses ones that I've taken; I couldn't help but consider their similarity in hearing the word. 

I have been given some great friends, mentors and even counselors that have had wonderful advice. I was dually blessed when some of them were Christians. I can also say that I have sat in church services with spirit led Pastors that could say the exact thing that hurt-so-good. -Each word FULL of the correction you needed with enough grace to keep you begging for more.

But NOTHING has ever been as satisfying to me as reading the word myself and having it speak directly to me or feeling- knowing that God is with me & giving me the answer that I need right now. -To be able to say "I was there and so was he!" -Like that picture!

I don't know where you are in your walk right now. Maybe you can connect with exactly what I am saying. But if you can't and if you've never "heard God speak" or felt the word, I'd like to try to encourage you today.

So many of us wait [or have waited] for that "thunder booming voice" kind of like when you were in trouble with your parents and they dropped your middle name, or like the voice of the mysterious man behind the curtain in the Wizard of Oz. I don't know that it always happens like that for everyone and I'd hate for you to miss it! 

For me, I can say that I have heard a thunder booming voice once but not with my ears and I am sorry that I just don't know how to elaborate on that. I can only say that I heard it in my heart. I might have even heard the thunder voice a few other times. However, I'd rather say that hearing God speak to me is more like having his entire creation become alive. 

The words most often spoken are usually through you and/or friends and strangers or in books I read. A few little strips twinged with a sudden nearness and connection. And many of the times the words used were not even intended that way by the speaker. They may never know their impact unless I tell them. 

In fact, I feel like the Lord uses my job to teach me about so many other facets of my life but particularly in my spiritual growth. It's a connection that I am not sure I would have noticed if I wasn't already a believer. Other times it's a nudging; a soft prompting that I need to do something or at times even a tension related to decisions. 

I'd like to share a verse with you to meditate on:

“If you love me, you will obey what I command. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever—the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you” (John 14:15-17).

There is so much en-grained in that little nugget.

1. If you love God -  Love. This is simple. I do not hear as much [even from my surroundings] if I am not spending time in the word. And I am not going to do that if I don't genuinely desire or love him and what I get from it.

2. Obey what I command - Obedience really is a key. I don't want to portray God as the kind to give you a silent treatment. I think that instead he patiently waits for us to catch up. I don't want to overly personalize this and downplay God either but really what is the point of talking to someone who doesn't listen. We want God to give us a testimony but we don't want to tell anyone about it. We want God to change our lives but don't want to do anything different. We also want God to speak to us but then we're so afraid of what he might say that we can't bring ourselves to listen. There really is not a drive thru for spirituality. You will have to discipline yourself to accept change in order to get a different result. If he does meet you where you are and give you an answer, what are you going to do with what comes after?

3. There is a counselor - You have a certified helper available in each moment who knows exactly what you need in any circumstance.

4. To be with you - WITH [Always available] YOU [Not just available to everyone else.]

4. Now this one is important and it might sound offensive or weird and if it does please pray about it. Heck, ask me and I will pray with you. The world cannot accept him because it neither sees him or knows him.  I'm just going to give you a handful of verses right here and truthfully they are only a drop in the bucket.

John 8:28 So Jesus said, “When you have lifted up the Son of Man, [willing to recognize that he is God and treat him as your Lord] then [it only comes after that first part] you will know that I am he and that I do nothing on my own but speak just what the Father has taught me.

In fact you’ve probably heard this verse before “He came so that the blind could see” Maybe you think of the blind beggar that Jesus healed by rubbing mud on his eyes. –Or maybe you think of Saul’s conversion when scales fell from his eyes and SUDDENLY he could see.

Yes, Jesus performed miracles that restored a physical sight but he gives a spiritual sight as well. I don't believe that his miracles were only parables but parables were used throughout the bible. Why could a picture for physical healing not be the exact and obvious image we need for the spiritual vision as well? Something else happened to each recipient as soon as they gained their physical sight. They also gained a recognition or knowledge about Jesus and the God who performed the miracle. There is so much more to see & know than just what is just before us. 

In fact 2 Corinthians talks about a veil, something being lifted so that you can gain this sight, particularly verses 3-4. And just like the veil used when a bride gets married; when God lifts that veil it’s because we have chosen to become his. Not on Sunday. Not on a blog. Not only with our unveiled friends. For life. “Like a bride and groom”. There is a commitment. (I will let you look up passages about that reference.)

And if you don’t think that this is right, check out John 8:47 it plainly says “Whoever belongs to God hears what God says. The reason you do not hear is that you do not belong to God.” I did not write that! It's scripture. Check it out!

If you feel like you’re not on that hearing side, do not be discouraged John 1:12 also says “Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.”

And finally, if you want to know how to do this, the answer is found in Romans 10:9 - They call it the ABC's of Salvation. Because if you Acknowledge and confess with your lips that Jesus is Lord and in your heart Believe (adhere to, trust in, and rely on the truth) that God raised Him from the dead, [Then you Commit your life to living by and for this] you will be saved. 

If you made it here and are kind of surprised how we got from point A to B, well me too! I really just meant to tell you that there is more to this view than just what you see in the picture. You and I couldn't possibly grasp all that was there unless we were in it. Faith is really no different. If you don't get what someone else has, you're might actually be missing some of the details. I promise you that if you ask to be his and commit yourself to deepening your faith, he will reveal and even fill in what you've been missing.

I hope it doesn't sound too boastful. I am full of mistakes and things that I could certainly do better. -But God loves me and you despite of our flaws. Every time I've challenged myself to get deeper, he has met me where I was. I urge you to just ask yourself if your faith matches up to what you picture that it should be. If it's not, ask yourself what's missing. Then [get the right lens] ask God to show you how to get there and then do all that you can to "capture" what's not in your present setting.

Blessings to you friend!

Tuesday Challenge #4 | Worship

Sometimes in service on Sundays, I think about running up on stage just as worship starts and telling everyone that for this next song they all have to lift their arms and close their eyes. After all, if everyone does it, (and if no one is looking) they might not feel so awkward that first time.

It occurred to me that I have these little challenges so why not challenge you to do it here. I know it's an awkward thing to start. You could poke someone in the eye or knock yourself off balance. And if you close your eyes, you won't see the words to the music. -But if it's an assignment, you kind of have to do it. You can just blame me if there are any injuries. It is only one song...

There are several reasons that people do it but a co-worker once told me that the expression of lifting hands up to God, is like a child asking to be lifted up closer or higher to their mother or father. I love that image. I can't help but think of my children when they were young "Get me. GET ME mama." After all, isn't that what we hope for? -That God sees us; That he wants us; That we might become closer?

So, if you give it a go, don't think about what everyone else might be thinking. Instead focus on being lifted and what that contact might be like. If you can't sing because your eyes are closed, it's all good. Imagine what you'd tell God if you got that close.

Do you have a testimony about this challenge or a suggestion for another one? Comment here!

What's this about? | Other challenges

Picture Credit [then modified]: http://www.superbwallpapers.com/nature/sunrise-over-the-mountains-14501/

Tuesday Challenge #3 | Glory

This morning I found myself with resources that aren't usually available to me- A delay in work due to snow; Kids that stayed up late so they would be more likely to sleep in; A husband that also got to stay home too so he could watch them should they wake; Access to a house on the water without a tenant to disturb.

So, I decided to slip out quietly and go catch a coveted sunrise on the water. I made it down the lane to the water. As the sky started to lighten, I realized that I had forgotten that the sun would rise behind trees on the property.

However an overnight snow covered [and was still covering] the ground. At this angle, the view of the snow was a gift that I see even less often than a sunrise. It's hard to note the quietness of falling snow or a white covering of grace. But it is something that you should try to capture on your own.

Sitting there so closely, trying to note every detail seemed like such an overlooked part of worship. Do we notice not only the creator but his creations? Could one of the simplest ways to give him glory; simply be shown in allowing ourselves to wonder or marvel at his displays of it [glory].

I don't know if you will get the blessing of a snow day or a sunrise or a house on the river. But how many times do we stop on bridges and catch up on phone calls or thumb through media instead of even looking out the window, much less get out of the car. -Or we get off early and fill time with errands instead of a view.

The challenge this week is to take time to notice HIS creation.  Listen to the sounds. Let your eyes touch everything in your presence. Ponder the depth, the meaning, what he might want you to know about him. Do any verses come to mind?

Verse - Psalm 111:2-5

Great are the works of the Lord;

they are pondered by all who delight in them.

Glorious and majestic are his deeds,

and his righteousness endures forever.

He has caused his wonders to be remembered;

the Lord is gracious and compassionate.

He provides food for those who fear him;

he remembers his covenant forever.

Do you have a testimony about this challenge or a suggestion for another one? Comment here!

What's this about? | Other challenges

Picture Credit [then modified]: http://www.superbwallpapers.com/nature/sunrise-over-the-mountains-14501/

Another Valentine

Lately I've been writing about storms with some guidance on how to get through them. This morning I decided to read a few examples from the Bible to see what others learned about God while also in a storm. [See: Matthew 14:23-31, Mark 4:35-41. Psalm 107:23-32, Luke 8:22-25]

Fast Forward...

The kids started waking and I eventually make it to the kitchen to start breakfast. I am frustrated because we have such big plans for the day and the kids won't stop bickering about chores. It feels like we're never going to get the house clean. I ask myself if maybe we waited too long to eat and now we're all just too hungry to focus.

So, I pray for a change of heart and call everyone into the living room to read a devotion & to regroup. I don't want the day to continue with this tone. The devotion happens to be about patience. -How instead of being impulsive and reacting with our emotions we need to stop and take a moment and ask for help. In our discussion, we use our real life examples from only moments before and the current example of what we've switched to.

We bow our heads to pray and my youngest son begs to be the one to say it. I agree with a tired smirk and hope I am being filled with patience in this moment. I wonder if at all [in all of his two year old wisdom] he comprehends what he is doing. I am speechless when out of his broken sentences, I hear Jackson talking about God... being on the water... in a boat...

You may not think that there is a significance to his timing but I never told him what I was reading. Take a look for yourself in those verses noted above. And while my son has recently started asking to say grace; he always repeats the same two or three lines from a blessing that he remembers. 

And just last weekend I was at a retreat where there was an at length discussion about praying God's word. Could somehow this be a similar prayer in spirit through my son [to me]?

I can't help but feel a sudden nearness and being used when we both break from our routines to find him. 

Today also happens to be Valentines Day. There is another love that often goes over looked. Take a moment and allow your heart to connect to him so that he might also purify what we give to our earthly loves. 

The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. - Zephaniah 3:17

Photo credit - http://heartwisdomccc.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/boat-on-water.jpg

The Gift of Fear

Not long after our first child was born, I took a self defense class. I was certain that there was no better way to arm myself than to know how best to use the only weapon that was with me 24/7, my body.

It was a great- GREAT class. In fact, call your local Sheriff's office to see if they offer similar classes!

In the class, the instructor also recommended a book called the Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker. If you are a woman that struggles with men not taking "no" for an answer, or if you frequently find yourself in uneasy situations, you should read this book!

I must fair warn you that in real life the author is a Security Agent, hired to protect people in dangerous situations. He gives you real (aka violent/detailed) examples some of the people he has protected and crime scenes that he's had to solve. Then he explains how fear should have warned the victim first. How intuition is really a wonderful gift in self-defense. (Click here if you'd like a little recap of some of his examples.)

Anyway, one of the references in that book was how, if a woman has a violent boyfriend and/or stalker, she shouldn't argue with him for 2 hours about how she doesn't want to see him. She shouldn't even have to tell him "No" more than once. She should just ignore his calls and/or take the phone off of the hook, etc.

Anything other than ignoring him, is giving him attention. So then if the woman continues the conversation [even to say that she wants no parts of him] she is actually rewarding him with attention, guaranteeing that he will call or visit again.

He goes on to say that even restraining orders are considered "attention" and may only further provoke the person you're trying to keep at bay. So, we should do everything in our power to leave that person alone. Instead of saying no, the victim should just drop it, avoid it and move on as much as possible.

and now switching gears....

I can't help but strike a little comparison in that last example and how that might apply to our spiritual life. After all, believers do have a known attacker. ...The devil! I've talked about my struggle with insecurity for a while now. Thankfully, I think that I am almost on the other side of that lesson. -or at least I hope so. But I've learned an even more powerful lesson about it in the last few months.

At the end of 2013 when I discovered that it really was an issue for me, I thought because there was so much peace at first that suddenly having the knowledge had kind of cured it. (Sounds silly, I know). But I wasn't struggling [as much] and I was looking at things a lot differently than I normally would. Even others noted changes in me.

But then a bunch of stuff changed last year and I found myself in unfamiliar territory. (That totally sounds weird to say when all of the main details are the same. But for example, my position at my job changed. I also changed churches but switched to another group of people that I already knew.) Everything just twisted a notch or two and then the focus, the tension, the lesson was different.

And isn't it easy to master a lesson in your comfort zone? When you up the ante, try something new, challenge yourself, especially if you're doing it for God's good or trying to improve yourself, guess who else ups the ante too?  ...ahem, that certain attacker.

So if you're insecure about how good you can do something. If you're afraid of what people might expect of you. If you think for 3 seconds you'll be the example of something. You can bet that the minute you do something out of your comfort zone ALL of those buttons are going to get pushed again. Harder. And maybe even more frequently. Kind of like praying for patience...

Bear with me now....

It's a hard passage to read but please take a moment to read John 8:31-47 (also pasted below.)

[Dispute Over Whose Children Jesus’ Opponents Are - 

31 To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. 32 Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”33 They answered him, “We are Abraham’s descendants and have never been slaves of anyone. How can you say that we shall be set free?” 34 Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. 35 Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever.36 So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. 37 I know that you are Abraham’s descendants. Yet you are looking for a way to kill me, because you have no room for my word. 38 I am telling you what I have seen in the Father’s presence, and you are doing what you have heard from your father."

39 “Abraham is our father,” they answered. “If you were Abraham’s children,” said Jesus, “then you would do what Abraham did. 40 As it is, you are looking for a way to kill me, a man who has told you the truth that I heard from God. Abraham did not do such things.41 You are doing the works of your own father.” “We are not illegitimate children,” they protested. “The only Father we have is God himself.”

42 Jesus said to them, “If God were your Father, you would love me, for I have come here from God. I have not come on my own; God sent me.43 Why is my language not clear to you? Because you are unable to hear what I say. 44 You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. 45 Yet because I tell the truth, you do not believe me! 46 Can any of you prove me guilty of sin? If I am telling the truth, why don’t you believe me? 47 Whoever belongs to God hears what God says. The reason you do not hear is that you do not belong to God.”]

I've underlined the verses that really struck me from that passage. Here's the summary of what I felt from them. I hope that I can give them the same life, without muddling it or making it sound like some new law.

If you [v31 hold to my teaching] just go where I tell you for your life, follow my commands, even when you're afraid, and you do not complain or dilly dally or shrug it off. Then you're my disciples.

v32 When you can truly believe in me and rely on my grace to fulfill the plans that I have for you; Only then will you be free from [fill in the blank].

v33 [reference to slaves] What thoughts are you slave to? We might not be slaves to people but are we slaves to ambitions, slaves to fears, slaves to our thoughts in general? I mean are you constantly correcting yourself, second guessing or even criticizing what you're doing? Or maybe you're constantly judging others, lashing out in anger or even struggling with depression.... If so, isn't that kind of like a slave to those thoughts. I mean, if you're constantly doing it and getting stressed out because of it- that sure sounds like bondage! Um, you are not free!

v35 [everyone who sins is a slave to sin] - Does that mean picking up your weakness (that we just described) is the sin that you will be a slave to? -Or having any sin that you know about and choose not to remove; will that give the devil a foothold to torment you later or elsewhere? I mean think about that for a minute. What are you [we] allowing?

v39 Look at Abraham's life and the way that he approached challenges. Even the day that he took he son to the alter, he didn't waste time, or argue or complain. He got up and went the next day, in complete faith. Like a disciple. I don't want it to sound too harsh but that line can't really be more clear. If Abraham could have complete faith; and if you're his son [if you believe that you're a descendant from the same God]; you should be able to do all of those things that Abraham was able to do.

v44, If we're wasting time, in fear, in self doubt, even arguing with a devil, who are we spending more time with? It doesn't mean that you're not spending time with God. But if the measure of who you love is shown by the company your're keeping; could you somehow be showing that you spend more time with the devil, like a son? ...ouch!

Then v45 If you know the devil is a liar [and an attacker] why hang out with him at all?

Boy I hope I got that summary to touch you in the same way that it did me! -Very thought provoking!

And finally...

I hear Martin Luther King once said: "You can't stop a bird from flying over your head, but you can stop that bird from building a nest in your hair."

When I tried to apply that to my spiritual life, I referred to my scriptures about the power of words and the sword of the spirit. So in my attempt to stop birds (the devil, bad thoughts, self lies, etc.) from landing; I was combating those thoughts with scripture! I'd reply OUTLOUD- "Devil that's a lie!" "I am a child of God." "I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me", etc...

I do still believe that there IS great value in that! Especially, if you're learning scripture! So I am not at all telling you not to do that! BUT If you're still struggling with the same issue over and over and you are repeating scripture that you know, consider this-

It's easier for a bird to land on something that stops moving, even if it's swatting back.

Obviously swatting back is what you use in scripture and in prayer and maybe even changes that you make in response to that. But what does "stopping" look like in your life? You're doing everything that you can to change and then the devil comes along and throws you a new line or a new bird. Do you stop in the danger zone and consider its appeal for attention wondering if there's any truth in it? The next thing you know, you've gotten a pinch too close and now you have to start all over with the fight to be free. Swatting back harder.

Let me tell you another little sneaky tactic of the devil. Have you ever heard the expression, "If the Devil can't make you bad, he'll make you busy"? In many ways that applies to commitments [whether good or bad] that steal our time and wear us down. But doesn't that also apply to our mind. Picking that thing back up and carrying it too long, like we just talked about? Stewing in something that makes us angry. Rehearsing our regrets to the point of sorrow. If he can't get you to buy in to one of those lies; he can at least press your buttons enough, in an effort to distract you from God. So, if I am spending a lot of my time arguing about who I am -in Christ- (and totally feeling cuh-ra-zy by the way) then I am not listening to as much of the critical new information that I need in this junction. Nor am I getting any rest. And MAN I am exhausted!

Suddenly- I remembered that book. It occurred to me that maybe the best thing that I could do with the devil right now, is to just not even go there! I know who I am, why am I even bothering to hash it out! I'm just giving him want he wants.... attention.

I mean, isn't that what the helmet of salvation is for? Put that booger over your head and keep on going where the Lord is leading! Just block it. Don't even go there. KEEP ON WALKING!

And that same rule applies about intuition or fear being a gift. Perhaps the next time that you start feeling anxious or afraid, check your thoughts and your actions. Maybe those very same instincts are not trying to tell you that there is truth to any of that negative junk you're thinking or that you are justified in any particular action, but maybe instead they're alerting us of an attacker on the premises. Are we too close to a danger zone?

This picture is a little bit different but it still sends a good message!

Keep on walking!

& Peace be with you!

You might be interested in RAD, Fight Like A Girl, Damsel in Defense, A free John Study, or the book of John.

1 Photo Credit:
 http://sites.showitfast.com/39550/43940/children_photography_girl_walking_on_beach_with_flying_birds_barefoot_beach_bonita_springs.jpg

2 Photo credit: http://www.slideshare.net/IgorJese/dont-suck-at-verbal-selfdefense?next_slideshow=1

Tuesday Challenge #2 | Journal

This week's challenge- Mediate on scripture that you're reading this week. (Preferably a whole passage and not just a verse.) As you pray, ask God if there is anything he'd like you to know about it in how it applies to your life. Keep a note book or recorder on hand. Write down or record every little thought or "ah ha" that comes to mind [throughout the day] along with the associated scripture. Don't worry, you can scribble quick notes and the summarize later in the week.

P.S. Most cell phones have a voice recorder or note application. Pray with expectation that God wants to reply to you!

Verse: Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.- Colossians 4:2

Do you have a testimony about this challenge or a suggestion for another one? Comment here!


What's this about? | Other challenges



Picture Credit [then modified]: http://www.superbwallpapers.com/nature/sunrise-over-the-mountains-14501/

Tuesday Challenge #1 | Prayer

This week's challenge- Accept every offer to pray out loud this week! Are you facilitating a class, having dinner with friends or involved in small group? It doesn't matter where you are. When someone asks if anyone would like to pray, hit it up!  You can even offer to do so at any fitting time.

It doesn't matter how short or how long your prayer is. You can even write a prayer down if you're afraid you'll forget. God see's your heart. If it's uncomfortable, it's only because we haven't done so. Believe it or not, it gets easier with practice!

And here's a tip- when you close your eyes, don't focus so much on how the words will sound to everyone else. Imagine having a face to face conversation with God about where you are. Then let the words flow.

Verse: I am the LORD your God, who brought you up out of Egypt. Open wide your mouth and I will fill it. - Psalm 81:10



Do you have a testimony about this challenge or a suggestion for another one? Comment here!

What's this about? | Other challenges


Picture Credit [then modified]: http://www.superbwallpapers.com/nature/sunrise-over-the-mountains-14501/

Tuesday Challenge | Intro

Hi there! Welcome to the Tuesday Challenge.

I used to wonder why I didn't understand the Bible. I used to listen to other people pray and I'd think, I'll never pray like that or I'd hear someone say, "I'm going to pray about it and see what God wants me to do" and I'd think, why don't I hear God telling me what to do.

I don't dare believe that I have all of the answers but I can tell you that one of the biggest things that has contributed to growing my faith was by making and/or accepting little challenges outside of my comfort zone that forced me to stretch myself or toward God in an area.

I don't really want to stop stretching AND I'm trying to figure out how to help encourage someone else at the same time. Maybe this is a way to accomplish both of those goals!

Why on Tuesday?  Well, it was kind of by accident really. I was updating Facebook posts for a church page and needed a post on a Tuesday.  I thought, who's up for a little challenge.  I did it again the following week. A few people commented to me later that they liked it. ...Thus Tuesday challenge. Genius, right? ;)

A new challenge will come out on Tuesday and it's intended for you [us] to complete during the week or by the following Tuesday. It's just a suggestion. You can pick from a different week, modify the challenge or stretch it out in whatever way that you need to. There are really no rules. The goal is to keep us looking for a little something just outside of our comfort zone.  -Kind of like a baby learning to walk. We inch a little closer, a little farther, etc... And BOOM, you know what happens? There's a connection!

And do you know what? I LOVE to hear how God is working in someone's life. So if you have an idea for a challenge or a testimony about one- PLEASE feel free to comment on any post or email me!

Iron sharpens Iron! Proverbs 27:17

The first one is coming 2/3/14!

Other Challenges

Picture Credit [then modified]: http://www.superbwallpapers.com/nature/sunrise-over-the-mountains-14501/

Smallness | Spiritual Goals

We are always trying to figure out how to do more, aren't we? To get better at.... To go BIGGER.... But that can be really exhausting, can't it? Like you I'm sure, it just doesn't seem like I have time to add to the day or to the list of tasks. If I can't add to, how on earth will I get the more & bigger down?

I've started to think about spiritual goals at the end of each year. 2014 was a great year for me but it was particularly busy and hard and even exhausting. When I drew my list of goals for 2015 it occurred to me that God probably doesn't need us to beat who we've been in the past. There's no real reason why our goals have to be "more" or "bigger" than the previous ones set, unless of course we didn't have any. Simply having different types of goals can continue to challenge us in the same positive way.

So for me, this year, I am trying to come up with goals for the "smallest" way that I can get more God in. Not because I don't want a whole lot of God but because sometimes when the challenge is too big, we just can't seem to get around to it or we put it off or stress ourselves out about it. I'm hoping that if I start considering the smallest thing that I can do right now, maybe it will keep me moving in the right direction.

Here are a few ideas. Won't you join me?

1. A, B, Glory - I heard a sermon from Andy Stanley last year and he said that there are always 3 choices to any question. There's answer A, answer B and then the answer that will give God the most Glory. Try to apply that the next time that you have a question. And actually this question might just be flavoring the rest of the pot below...

2. Use it for Glory/Blessing - Do you feel like God has recently blessed you with something and you want to know how to show thanks? How about consider the smallest way you can use it in order to give God Glory? Can you share it with someone, use it to help someone, build a testimony around it?

3. Ooh Discipline - Instead of what new things can we learn about this year; maybe we just need to get really disciplined [trying to apply] in the things that he's already asked of us.

4. Use what you have - This year instead of buying something for every birthday party, event, last minute dinner.... Maybe we need to find a way to use (reuse) what we already have. That might not sound like a way to glorify but I just keep thinking about Jesus collecting the crumbs left over after the five loaves. -Maybe it was to feed someone else. I also think about all of the times we say that we will do this or that when we have such and such. But those who are trusted with little [what you have now] will be trusted with much and we shouldn't force ourselves into debt trying to get there.

5. Encourage another along the way - When Jesus was talking to the Samaritan woman, he told her to go and get her husband. When Elisha told the widow to get her jars to fill with oil, he told her to collect jars also from her neighbors. Where ever you are and wherever you're going, look out for someone else along the way that needs the same thing that you do. -Even if it's only someone to pray with.

6. Joining church - If you're resolution was to get back to church, maybe try joining the smaller one or perhaps start with a small group study instead of the regular Sunday Service.

7. Set your stone - Joshua 4:4-7 is just one example of God asking people to set reminders. Throughout the bible we repeatedly see people putting up memorials, alters, and place markers and/or changing names to signify or represent work that God has done in their life.  This was done not only so that what God has done could be remembered but so that it could be talked about with others. Do you have any stones that you need to collect and/or put up for the Lord this year? Take time to remember them, even if it's only by writing them down.

4. Say "Thanks" - It's such a small word, isn't it?

5. Pick One Word - Whether or not you get the book, pick One Word for the year as your focus. In case you couldn't tell, my one word this year is smallness. Your one word is like a mini goal and when used in prayer it can be a quick way to help guide you when you need to make decisions or refocus.

6. Stop doing it - What is the smallest thing that you can stop doing? -Even if it's only for a period of time so that you can discover how to give God Glory while doing it.

7. Accept the K-Love Challenge? This is a challenge to listen to Christian music on the K-Love station for 30 days. (I had to put this on here because my daughter asks me nearly every day if we can accept this challenge. To which I reply, Sophie, we've already been listening.... But she still asks. Maybe my smallest thing is to get her a calendar so that she has the excitement of marking it off every day and maybe I'll challenge myself to listen with a new ear.) It seemed fitting to add here. It is small and you are already in the car, right?!?!

8. As a family - Maybe try to exclude going to so many individual/separate events in order to find one group event that you can all do together.

9. Read less but absorb more - Each of us at some point or another have sworn or at least been pretty sure that we'd read the whole bible or a certain number of chapters a day within a year. But that's a BIG challenge and sometimes the bible is hard to read. How about simply going for understanding of the one chapter that you choose to read? After you read it once, find another translation, and maybe another. Check out commentary, interpretations and even look up certain words or details from the text. Ooh, you can even write a summary about what you think is happening, if you feel led to. When you've squeezed out every drop; then move on to the next chapter. Whew- doesn't that take the pressure off? Then you're never behind!

10. Up the volume - Instead of praying all day or praying more or even praying harder, make the words that you do offer up in prayer, words that are said out loud.

11. Change your availability - Instead of trying to be involved in every function and running around like a chicken with your head cut off; ask God to help you find the one person that needs to see you (or God through you) each day.

12. Don't forget your loved ones - What is the one thing that you can do for each member of your immediate family this week? Ask God to help you tune your listening ear. Maybe it's resetting an iPod, making cookies together or calling about an appointment. It might be as simple as watching a movie together but what's the smallest way that you can show the members of your house that they are not lost in your shuffle? If this and # 8 don't seem like a way to incorporate more God, check out 1 Timothy 5:8. And God repeatedly blesses people by giving them descendants in the bible. I can tell you that [next to the bible] he teaches me more about his character through my own family than anywhere else!

13. Little challenges - Maybe create/accept some little challenges in your uncomfortable zone for God. If you're not sure how, look here for some ideas on Tuesday's.

14. The silver lining - Every day something will happen to frustrate you. The kids might miss the bus on Monday. The car won't start on Tuesday. Don't even talk about Wednesday.... But at the very same time God is trying to teach you something about discipline and you feel it in such a good way. -Or perhaps a friend made you lunch and it touches you. When you're retelling the details of your day, is it only the gray clouds that you let define it? Or is God meeting a need in a different area or trying to reveal himself in those frustrations. -Do those details get a small part in the script that you rehearse?

15. Inventory & Goals - Before were too deep into this year take an inventory of last year. Are you satisfied with how it turned out? Are you closer to God or your family? Did you have a plan and master any of it? ...or give it to the master? Flesh it out. Was there anything you would have changed?  What can you aim for this year? Will it be different?

16. Customize it - Ask God what is the smallest way that YOU can squeeze a little more Glory in.

If you get some answers to 16, I'd love to hear them! So don't forget to share it here, on Facebook or with a friend.

Blessings to you in 2015!


Picture credit: http://thesamaritanwomen.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/StepsToSuccess012113-300x300.jpg