Hello, ‘Other Side Of The Hill’ Here I Come!!!

This past Friday was my fortieth birthday. I am not exactly sure what possessed me to start looking up things about the number 40 or when it started. But it’s definitely been on my mind for quite a long time now. While life is busy and I haven’t been able to get as deep as I would like, the part that I have gleaned about that number has made this birthday mean more than I could’ve expected. Whether or not there is a hill ‘to go over,’ it is a cornerstone. -Perhaps a ‘coming of age’ that I hope all of us are blessed enough to find. Let me share:

You may not know that in the bible the number 40 represents periods of trial and testing. You see this when:

-        Jonah told Ninevites that destruction was coming in 40 days – Jonah 3:4

-        Jesus ‘went away’ to the desert for 40 days to fast and pray and while there he was tested by the devil – Matthew 4:1-11

-        God destroyed the Earth with a flood; it rained for 40 days and 40 nights – Genesis 7:12

-        In Deuteronomy 25:3 a judge deemed that the maximum number of lashes that a person could receive for punishment was 40 stripes. Some believe that’s how many Jesus received, but there’s are disputes about whether or not ‘lashes’ are the same as scourging (which Jesus received). Plus, there isn’t a number of lashes mentioned in the bible for Jesus. It’s is also believed that many Jews followed a rule of 39. They would give 40 lashes ‘minus 1’ because it was believed that 40 would kill a person and it was essentially a death sentence. In 2 Corinthians 11:24 Paul said that he received that exact punishment ’40-1’ on FIVE different occasions by the Jews.

-       You’ll also see that it was 40 years that Moses and the Israelites spent in the wilderness - Deuteronomy 8:2-5

There are many more examples of this in the Bible, and you can google them, but you get the idea. That last one is probably the one that gets me the most because it sounds so much like trials of life; dry spells, loneliness, and hardship. The way that we complain or simply get discouraged because we can’t SEE or don’t understand what is happening.

Don’t get me wrong the Israelites endured much and not just desert conditions. But through it all there was a God that was IN THEIR MIDST, leading them, day and night. –He produced miracle after miracle on their way through. While the whole goal was in getting them to the promise land, the purpose was to get them to DEPEND ON HIM to get there but also to be their DAILY provider.

This season was also a place where, as a leader, Moses character was tested and developed. Not just in his own dependence and trust, but in the way that he ‘reacted’ to the people. He was ‘the speaker’ even though he had little faith that God could use him, and many believe that he had a stutter (because of the NLT translation of Exodus 4:10). Either way, he resisted the call over and over with the same excuses you and I use. (I am not good enough Ex 3:11, I don’t have all of the answers Ex 3:13, People won’t believe me Ex 4:1, I am a terrible speaker Ex 4:10, I am not qualified Ex 4:13).

My Bible commentary says “Personal greatness doesn’t make anyone immune to error or its consequences.” And throughout the entire life of Moses or the story of the Israelites, “God did not change WHO or WHAT Moses was; he did not give Moses new abilities and strengths. Instead, he took Moses characteristics and molded them until they were suited to his purposes.’

It took a huge chunk ‘of a lifetime’ for God to get Moses to ‘let him use’ what he created in the first place and for its intended purposes.”

Sadly, part of what kept them in the wilderness was their disbelief. God told them to take possession of the land (Ex 3:8), yet they became convinced they could not, even though God told them they could do it. It was their lack of belief in what God said (even the good stuff he promised) that brought along his wrath. This led to 40 years of wandering the desert until an entire generation died off.

What kills me here is that you know they wanted the promise land. You know they wanted the miracles and a LOVING, PERSONAL, God that was WITH them. I mean, all of us need someone who has an aerial shot of the ‘big picture,’ and we want someone to guide us. How could they not want that too? But their stubbornness is so much like our own.  –Especially in the first half of our lives trying to do things ‘our way.’ Trying to create a certain type of life or trying to be polar opposite of something else that we’ve seen. We’re so ‘focused’ on the goal that sometimes, we’re not even paying attention to the details. Is this goal, the right goal for me?

(Not just what you think sounds good. And not just what you’ve been repeating for all these years. But in the quiet, soft place, if you acknowledge a daydream, what are those details that you dare tell no one because it sounds too corny, it doesn’t have an ‘earth shattering purpose’, or it feels unrealistic?  --That IS a goal or could be, FYI. And our disappointments in life might really be because we’re not lined up here.)

But if God could grant us any promise that we desire, in our future, what does that land look like? Are we in line to get there?  Where are we at in that? Are we in our bodies enough to see how that lines up with our heart and the world around us or are we fixated on why we can’t take a short cut to that place we’ve been busy trying to get to?

…over the hump or hill…

People make ‘40’ sound like a bad thing with ‘over the hill’ like it’s only depressing or rough on the other side. I guess I see how people think that, but it just doesn’t resonate with me. I mean, yes, I once ran off the side of a fort wall on the Yorktown battlefields when I was paying more attention to the wind keeping my kite up, instead of where the ground ran out. Going down the hill hurt. FOR SURE! The entire sides of those ‘fort walls’ seem to be covered in stumps of thorn bushes! I don’t know if that’s a fluke or if it was intentional to keep the enemy out and now the park rangers cut them down so tourists can climb them. But, when I fell, I bounced and bumped onto every stump, the whole way down. I even had thorns INSIDE my bra.

And some of my more recent and ‘metaphorical’ stumbles or physical displays of ‘falling down’ have been even uglier. They’ve hurt worse, hurt others, and have even landed me flat on my face. And ‘soul hurt’ is a whole other kind of hurt that isn’t as easy to recover from. But isn’t that just what the Israelites also had to endure. —Being humbled. 

You’ll often hear that the ‘bad things’ that happen in life aren’t always because of our inadequacies (as if we could control everything). But also, they aren’t necessarily a reflection of our worthiness or even a reflection of the effort that we put into something. It’s not always due to sin or some bad karma or juju that came to pay you back. I am not even convinced that it’s because we’ve taken something for granted. In looking at the ‘big picture’ through the story of the wilderness, I think I’ve decided that for the first time ever, I don’t have to know why. Maybe the ‘bad things’ are simply a result of something greater that God wants US to see, and to produce in us, and somewhere else that he wants us to be. A place flowing with milk and honey. (Which is how God described the promise land. Ex 3:17)

It’s not that he doesn’t want you to have things now, or be happy, or that he wants to intentionally hurt any of us. True yes, life is more than getting everything we want, ‘being all fat and happy’. It’s about giving too. And scripture says it is better to GIVE than to receive! But somehow a large part of us all too often live as if we weren’t meant to receive at all and therefore we don’t fully embrace it, put ourselves out there, or allow ourselves to be seen. (And I could write a whole other tangent/post here but just think about that for a minute. ALL of our senses work best when we are ‘taking in’ –seeing, smelling, tasting, touching, hearing—not giving out but taking IN! How much more could that apply to a spiritual level??? Don’t tell me God made us to ‘not get’ anything out of life!)

And yet, we deny ALL kinds of things. Some, for really noble, ‘God glorifying’ reasons. (So, I don’t mean that condemning.)

God takes us the long way to teach us this human tendency, and to show you who he is and why you need him.

Deuteronomy 29:5-6 says it best “For forty years I, the Lord, led you through the desert, but your clothes and your sandals didn’t wear out, and I gave you special food. I did these things so that you would realize that I am your God.” But the Lord must give you a change of heart before you truly understand what you have seen and heard.

It does you no good to be in a land with ‘milk and honey’ if you’re going to complain about it, or if you aren’t prepared to receive it, or embrace it, and allow yourself to take it in for the incredible gift that it is.

Sometimes you and I (WE) need to see how much more we desire than what we say, think, feel, or act as we do. –And those trials in life have a way of bringing that out a little deeper in us.

But also, in the first verse that I shared Deuteronomy 8:2-5 he more specifically says that he does this to show you that you need more than food and clothes. He takes us through the wilderness to learn that we need, not just one or two, but EVERY WORD of God to truly LIVE –and to be ALIVE- and not just ‘get through’ life. Ahem, ‘Alive in Christ!’

I tell you this. Faith is a deeply personal thing. Everything that we do hinges on how much faith you have and what you believe. And sitting in a church listening to a sermon doesn’t take near as much faith as stripping apart lines in a bible and, praying them, or trying to live by them, and apply them to your core. But I am certain that the things that have given me strength in life and even a healthier view, have been less about physical needs and more about ‘spiritual bread’ that I’ve indigested.

But you know what else? Do you know why that ‘over the hill’ reference doesn’t resonate with me? It’s because I’ve also had a lot of great times going down the hill. In fact, the very best ones were when I laid down on my belly, rolled with it, and embraced them for what they were. If God wants me to be me, and if God promises he can use it, (no matter how much I screw it up), and if he’s gonna lead me to a promise land, who am I to argue?

Trust me. I see a lot of myself in Moses, and I think that I’ve subconsciously spent a lifetime arguing and resisting, even while I was trying to serve him with all of my heart. It has been SO.MUCH.HARDER in the long run. I’m kind of tired of the punishment I’ve brought on.

I do not mean that I am getting ready to be a perfect display of Christ – I couldn’t do it if I tried. The last I checked, I am as human as it gets.

But I AM READY to plunge forward, and let God show me how to fall—completely— forward-- into my path, and ALL that he promises. ❤ 

This might be a little corny but the last I checked, there’s a song that says he fits the whole world in the palm of his hands. I pray that you’re able to leap with me and for once trust that he can catch you too. In fact, I encourage you to print this out and read it (or look at it) every day for 40 days – asking God how and where you can apply it. Then read through the chapters that cover this story in the wilderness.

If you’ve been following me on Facebook, you’ve seen that I’ve recited poetry terribly when I am nervous and shared paintings that look nothing like the tutorial that I follow. –I share many other things that don’t turn out right.

But for me, that’s kind of my ‘Moses Moment’ Who am I, God, to do XYZ’?

But not only does sharing those examples help me get comfortable just being me but in a world of social media where everything ‘looks perfect’ I prefer to be real. I mean there’s a lot of good in my world, but I hear so many women compare themselves or discredit themselves. I think it’s partially because it’s easier for us only to display things that we deem perfect. I can’t keep up with that pace anymore, and I think we all miss out on a lot by not being willing to practice the raw.

My deepest hope is that if I can be bold enough to step out, then it might give you a little bit of faith that you can step out and do things terribly too on the off chance that now and then we’ll get it right – just like he says!  --And I mean that from the very bottom of my heart. Happy ‘Birth’ day – to all of us!

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You may also like these related posts that I have found.

Desert Lessons – 7 things that we can learn from the Israelites wandering years

Moses Five Excuses

Oh and this link because everything is better with a little Van Morrison in it and this song just so happens to be perfect!  When will I ever learn to live in God

And just when I thought I couldn’t love that song more, I discover that Bill Murray covered it.  A comedian/actor, off-key, full of strings, and from the belly of his soul, and you know what. He meant it. And it was beautiful! I might have cried a little. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qs_ehhWDMaA

Standing On A Promise

I started riding my bicycle the year before last. I must admit that this is my favorite way to exercise. I feel like a kid again, racing through the neighborhoods; wind blowing through my hair. The early morning is my favorite time too. It's easier to slip away before the routine is in full swing. It's still cooler and darker outside, and because it's so early, no one is out yet. It is just so peaceful!

In the fall, two years ago. Funny angle.

I'll never forget that first morning though. I was given an old beach cruiser. It had a rusty fender and made a little squeak every time the wheel passed a certain spot or anytime that I hit a bump. Having a sound effect to my pedaling made the intensity of it pick up. I felt a little like the witch from the Wizard of Oz. Except, replace her pretty little hat for my spotlight. haha.

A scene from the Wizard of Oz.

Anyway...

It had been years since I had touched a bike- as in, I am not even sure I rode a one in high school. I can't forget standing up to pick up the pace, and my thighs started quivering as if my legs weren't familiar with supporting me. How quickly the bike seemed to pick up the unstable rhythm... So, I just as quickly sat back down. It was obvious that certain muscles hadn't been used in a long time. If I hadn't been in my own childhood, I might not believe that there was ever a time that you could not get me off of one.

Yet, I practiced standing and riding; cruising and speeding. Then one arm free at a time. As it turns out "hands-free" had been forgotten too. My mind wandered through the air, and I thought of a statement that I've heard by preachers, about how faith is a muscle, and it's up to us to work it. But more so, I thought about how similarly with the bike, when you're going uphill, and things get hard, you need to put a bit more muscle into it and stand up.

...or stand on the promise....

I let that linger a day.... a week.... almost a year...  then two. In fact, I think about it often when I ride. And since that time, I have gotten stronger and more stable too. Sometimes our spiritual life is just as 'shaky' and difficult to work out, isn't it?

I mean, you can practice prayer and even meditation on scripture. While you are growing in these areas, there can still be 'chatter' happening behind the scenes or around the new lines. You know the stories we tell ourselves. Before or after- whether or not we realize it, we're bookending both sides of the verses that are supposed to set us free.

That chatter can be anything; questions, doubts, self-righteousness, self-condemnation, fears, and judgments. There's so much noise happening inside our head, discernment can be a true mind bender when we need instruction, can't it?!

New exercises can always reveal a place of instability. Which voice is the one you're supposed to pay attention to? How often do you apply it? How can you say you ARE one thing when you feel completely opposite. The way we listen to and respond to each is also an exercise. The one you practice is the one you strengthen.

Take heart, I'd like to also give you a few examples. -But brace yourself. This might sting a little.

1. Worry - The minute you start to worry about 'how YOU will do this or say that'- put your eyes on God. Don't get so caught up in 'how you,' that you can't see 'how HE.' I don't mean you shouldn't consider your words, prayerfully plan, or take a step of action. YES, PLEASE DO! But fear, anxiety, and worry will grow rapidly if you let it. Then it can immobilize you. You have to practice using that muscle of what God says and practice looking at who He IS, more than who you think you are and what you are not.

He must become greater. I must become less. John 3:30

2. Weakness - Life happens. Any given circumstance can feel too big. When you want to crumble and feel overwhelmed. I dare you to worship. Scripture tells us that HE is our strength. I will let you do your own research here, but it's been said that our praise will usher the Holy Spirit's presence. If that is true, and if He brings strength, why wouldn't we want to fill ourselves with Him?

The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him. Psalm 28:7 

3. Emotions - Emotions can get the best of us, can't they? Things break in our home, and we get frustrated. Someone wrongs us, and we get angry. Someone gets something you want and there's jealousy. What about the 'I don't wannas'? They might be the worst of all! Even unexpected and thrilling 'whims' can get us so excited that we lose our focus. Each situation like this that comes along may not be anything that you care about in 20 years or in the new creation. So why let your emotions get the best of you now?

Be on your guard. Stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. 1 Corinthians 16:13

4. Insecurity - When you feel like you can’t do something or when someone criticizes you or when you’re reminded of your past, don't shrink back, CLING to your future. What about when you're given an opportunity to try something that you've never done or to reinvent yourself? Your initial thought might be, "I can't..." or "I've never..."

BUT MY RIGHTEOUS ONE will live by faith. I take no pleasure in the one who shrinks back. - Hebrews 10:38

That's a tough one, isn't it?!

5. Words - Can we just talk about what we talk about for a minute? We might tell God what we hope for, but we tell all of our friends what we're afraid of. Or we don't even try to see what God might be doing in the situation that seems too big for us. So, we just keep repeating the same old, worn out story. I mean really- the things that we don't want can get more attention in our conversations and in our captions, than the God that we say that we believe in. I could quote verses like Proverbs 18:21 that tell you that there is the power of life and death in our tongue. But something else has recently struck me in my study time.

In the beginning, when God created everything, we see that He spoke it into existence. If you go back to read those verses, a few lines later you will also see, "and it was so" or you will see a summary of what was created. I am still trying to absorb why we see that. But because it made it to scripture, I know that there's a significance there. He first calls it out. Then he restates it. So, I'm asking you to challenge your own words. If you know that there is a Godly solution. Maybe you even know what that solution is. Call it out and/or restate about your life or situation. Give your words to that solution only and act accordingly. Thus bringing glory to our Father.

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You know, we could go on naming things like this. As I scan back down that list, each area that I have named is an issue of trust. And most of these issues start in our mind! You know Proverbs 23:7 says as a man thinks in his heart, so he is.

That's probably why 2 Corinthians 10:5 says that we are to take EVERY thought captive and make it obedient to Christ!

Hebrews 2:5 also tells us that we are only a little lower than angels; crowned with glory and honor and EVERYTHING has been put under our feet. (Like a pedal. haha)

And it doesn't say only the men or the women. It doesn't say only the left-handed people instead of the right-handed people (no matter what they might tell you.) **wink-wink** The verse says mankind.

and

Jesus died on a cross so that WHOEVER was willing to believe in Him, could be saved. John 3:16

AND (This might feel like a tangent but hang in there.) You don't have to die first to see the benefit of having Jesus in your life now.

Have you ever noticed in the Lord's prayer that it says 'On earth as it is in Heaven." And at the end of that same chapter in verse 33, it says 'Seek first HIS kingdom, and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well."  That part appears in the section titled 'Do not worry, ' and it's about basic living needs.

And again, it doesn't say only for black or for white. East coasters or West coasters.

If YOU are willing to believe in Him. By making Him Lord of your life, that means you put his commands, and even his whispers, his righteousness, his power, before your ___________.

When YOU lift the Son of Man, you will find the boldness of our heavenly Father- not just in your life but also the peace and comfort and certainty that he promises, IN YOU. -On this earth. In the life you're living now.

[end tangent]
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_

Much like getting on a bike again or for the first time, you have to push through the tremble.

My thighs were shaking when I pushed on those pedals and going uphill made it so much more obvious that I didn't have the strength that I thought I did or hoped to have. Practicing faith has so much felt the same way. These examples that I give to you are some of my most private lessons.

It will feel wobbly and even uncomfortable. You might feel like a fraud, or like your boasting (and sometimes you might even do that by accident). There will even be times that you might wonder if you've moved over to la-la land because this is not what you're used to practicing.

But as you PUSH through, that muscle of faith will grow. You will find strength and perseverance in Him. -And alas, freedom!

Friend, my testimony is this. YOU CAN trust what the Word says. - That in itself is a promise.

You can practice anything you like. Whether you choose to sit down or stand up and ride, is up to you.

I am the way, the truth, the... | Day 10

Day 10 of the #ScriptureChallenge - John 14:6

This is one of those verses that for some reason when I read it, I always have to say it once in my mind before I can say it out loud. –because I want to say ‘I am the way, the truth and the LIGHT.’ Yet in some ways mistaking ‘light’ in this verse, is rather symbolic.

What I mean is that when I have an issue in my life, I look up THE TRUTH, it shows me THE WAY and it brings freedom or renewed LIFE. –In other words, having an issue in my life, is kind of like a light shined on a place that I can get more Jesus in, bringing me that much closer to God himself.

Although when I explain the verse that way, it refers to the counsel that I receive from God now, while I am here on earth. While I learn much from reading about the life of Jesus, he is not just a high moral character that came in flesh and walked the streets here, but he is also part of the trinity – Divinity. God himself.

This full verse says that "NO ONE comes to the Father except THROUGH me." –which means that it doesn’t matter how kind we are, what good deeds we do, how we ‘pay it forward’. It doesn’t matter what level of ‘success’ we attain, or how much time we spend in a pew, or how much faith we have in our Pastor to deliver a good message- It is your direct relationship to (and through) Jesus alone that will get you to our Heavenly Father. –And in all the profoundness that you and I might see through the Word (which was God - John 1:1), or the character of Jesus (also God - John 10:30), or in the counsel of the Holy Spirit (again God - John 14:16-17), there is more… (Job 26:14)

Do you and I receive the FULLNESS of the Christ offered? –The fullness of who and what HE IS? Do we submit to ALL of God and not just the parts that we understand? (Revelations 22:13, Isaiah 33:22, Psalm 139:7, Psalm 95:6)

I am the vine, you are the branches | Day 9

I was recently tagged in a #ScriptureChallenge where you post a verse to your wall every day for 10 days and tag someone new to do the same. The only caveat is that I had to [because I love to] write about how it speaks to me. --And well that's a problem when you're verbose with little time! haha. It sounded like an opportunity to use a little video for the message. I really want to push myself here, mostly because it's uncomfortable.

I practiced in my office on a break. Then when I got home I did a Live Video on Facebook. People we're calling and the kids were walking in the door. I wanted to do it without my notes and I did-- YAY!!  -But I got distracted and forgot a point that I really want to include.  --If you watch the Live Video, when I talk about the growth, please know that you should see growth in your spiritual life too! -In your prayer life, knowledge of scripture, service to others, etc.  I hope that inclusion is a given but just in case... now ya know.

The video below was my first effort when I was still in the office and I just think I said it better here. So, I pray that it speaks to you!  --Be blessed.

-This is day 9.

When you lift the son of man | Day 8

Day 8 of the #scripturechallenge

I remember when it used to frustrate me to hear others talk about their faith. How they ‘knew’ God, or that they heard from him, or that they were SURE that they were saved. I couldn’t understand how or why they felt like they could and yet I couldn’t not. Was there something wrong with me? Was there something wrong with them? What was the difference?

It’s many years later, and I can finally say that I KNOW…

I share a lot of things here on the steps that I took (and am taking) that got me from there to where I am now. I can admit that as I’ve learned to have MY testimony, it has sometimes felt ‘braggadocious’ and sadly, I know that it has come out that way at times as well. [open to feedback or discussion here.] But I assure you that it is not because I think that I am a guru. I am not. It’s not because I want you to follow me. Please don’t. My only and sincerest hope is that something that I might share encourages YOU to dig deeper into your own faith as well. --Not only is a salvation available to all but so is a relationship. Follow Him!

But did you also know that Mat 10:27 says to share publicly, what the Lord tells you private Mat 10:32 says that if you acknowledge him, he will acknowledge you. Rev 12:11 says that your testimony helps to defeat the devil. But one of my favorite verses about our testimony is found in Philemon 1:6 and it reads: I pray that YOU may be active in sharing YOUR faith so that YOU WILL HAVE A FULL UNDERSTANDING of every good thing we have in Christ.

I can’t tell you what sharing my testimony has done for me and my faith over the years. The same is true for reading scripture, journaling, prayer, worship, obedience, repentance, forgiveness—and so many other components. Before you get overwhelmed—know that many of those things began over a span of 20 years, little by little. And every single piece is still a work in progress. Don’t delay your own progress. Start now. Go deeper. I assure you of THIS verse.

When YOU LIFT the Son of Man, YOU will know... John 8:28

Love one another as I have loved you | Day 7

Day 7 of the #scripturechallenge -

There are a lot of verses that make me think about marriage. I can honestly say that being married has taught me so much about faith, trust, and God but also that- GOD has taught me so much about marriage and what real 'love' looks like. --Well, at least that his version is so much better than mine. (I still have a lot to learn.)

Anyway, today, 23 years ago, Colin and I started dating. (In the creepy blue picture below, I just turned 15.) It was 'the first picture of us.' (Yes, you can squeal like a school girl if you want to. I did.)

No, we haven't been together that entire time. Nor do we have most of the pictures from when we were younger. As I was scrolling through the ones that we do have looking for something to post here, I found some real nuggets. haha. I thought to myself about how terrible some of these are and well, again, it reminded me of our walk with God. He sees us at our worst, and our craziest, and yet HE pursues us again and again. (Rom 8:37).

While that could be the verse that I use here, I think John 15:12 deserves the proper credit. It reads; "My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you."

I KNOW that I can credit God for my marriage. Not just because he has given Colin some crazy reason to put up with, and love, me all of these years; but also because of how God's standard challenges me privately. Throughout our relationship, it didn't matter if I was upset and feeling justified about something, or if I was super proud and on cloud nine strutting it- ANYTIME that I have had a notion about us, IF I stopped to think of God's love, it has always challenged me to go deeper and do a little more. -AND EVEN when I don't pull it off quite right, when I try to meet God's request, I always receive a greater return. <3

At this point, I'd just like to challenge YOU to do the same. Where ever you are in your own marriage. Keep pursuing God. Keep pursuing your mate and all of the ways that you can go beyond you... There is more! <3

When you seek me | Day 6

Day 6 of the #scripturechallenge - Jeremiah 29:13

Consider keeping a prayer journal. It might feel weird at first. So challenge yourself to write each prayer out like a letter to God. Then seek guidance in scripture. You can even write down the verses get your attention. Meditate on your study notes even when you're away from the task. Mark the prayers off when you get your answers and/or write the answers when received. (Then it becomes a blessing book. 😉) 

It made a difference for me.

How can he take care of God's church? | Day 5

Day 5 of the #scripturechallenge 

I have to admit the first time I read this verse it was like a sucker punch to my gut. It is so hard to balance all of our many roles and to not get caught up serving (sometimes people pleasing) outside the home. I still have SO MUCH to grow in this area. But I have to testify that I have seen good growth in areas closest to my heart, since I've started letting this verse be part of the compass when I/We make decisions.

There are so many things that fall under the roof of a household too; marriage, finances, disciplines, patience, health, parenting- it all goes by so fast and when you consider that as parents we're raising the next generation of believers, but also teachers of the law, and teachers of love- well... It just makes me take a deep breath, step back, and consider what ministry looks like, and where it begins. ❤

This verse is 1 Timothy 3:4-5 but the full chapter is worth the read.

Three friends | Day 4

Day 4 of the #scripturechallenge

I once heard a wise friend named David repeat some good advice. He said throughout life, you'll need 3 friends.

*Someone to look up to, like a mentor (Paul)
*Someone to walk beside (Barnabas)
*Someone to lead (Timothy)

(All 3 are a reference to characters in the Bible)

Anyway, It reminds me of this passage in Titus 2:3-5. The whole chapter is on mentoring & right teaching but I'll just share this verse for the challenge.

3 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4 Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

It's speaks to the value of belonging to a Sunday School class or Life Group and the importance of networking and having friends. We each have something to share, we each can use a little encouragement along the way, and we all need someone to love us enough to keep us in check. Whether or not we can make it to group social events, we can still seek out these relationships on our own. Do a quick inventory and be sure you've got all three. If not, it might just be 'the thing' (or a person) you've been looking for. Additionally lets all be encouraged to give and receive honest feedback when it's needed. Let's fix each other's crowns. 

Like Little Children | Day 3

Day 3 of the #scripturechallenge - This verse is Mathew 18:3 "And he said: "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven."

Monday, I spent the day with Jackson for his Birthday. It seemed to summarize how I feel about his verse.

We went to the Crab Shack for lunch and he couldn't stop looking out of the window checking out all of the things he didn't usually see. He was so excited that he wanted me to take a picture of him hugging a fake light house. It was late for lunch and he got a little testy but was quick to apologize when he was corrected. Later, when given options to do many different things he wanted to go see his Nanny (Great Grandmother) instead. It reminded me so much of being little and wanting to hang out with my grandmother, her sisters, and the other women in my family. ❤ (How I miss them.)

Yet as we get older, don't we often get our nose so close to the grind, that we forget to look up and allow ourselves to be mystified--or to marvel at even the tiniest of things. Even when we know we're wrong, we still want to be justified instead of corrected.--Even when it brings restoration. Children pretty much love who they love [their family] without questions or rules. Demographics and status are of no importance.

I'm actually too tired to write tonight but you get the idea. There are many areas where we could take notes from a child. I hope this verse continues to speak.

Fearfully Made | Day 2

Day 2 of the #scripturechallenge - Instead of being 'full of fear', when this verse says 'fearfully' it is a reminder that we are something to be AFRAID OF when we (trust) and walk in the fullness of who HE made us to be.

❤

Guard your heart | Day 1

I was tagged in a #scripturechallenge on Facebook. The point is to post a new scripture to your wall each day then nominate someone in each post to do the same. I don't usually do things that I have to pass on or tag people in but I've been wanting to write less. -Maybe posting a short verse would be a good exercise for me. Can I come up with 10 verses to live my life by or say something short about a verse each day in a testimony...? Not sure. We'll see.

Day 1 of the #scripturechallenge - My life verse. 

Without Walls

It doesn’t matter if we’re on the team that’s responsible for delivering the message or if we are receiving what someone else has prepared; both sides can be found worrying about the color of rooms, the feel of seats, the lighting, and effects when we attend church.

‘How can we create or have a new experience?”

Yet when I read the Bible, His Gospel is seldom seen in a building. HE parted seas, healed the sick, and bound the broken- and most often did so using only what was around; a staff, mud, 5 loaves and so on… Only asking us to believe.

In fact, in my experience, there is NO ‘experience’ that compares with that of the Holy Spirit. Why on earth would we ever want to distract from him?

How might the sinner within us be changed, if we could allow ourselves to simply sit before HIS FULL presence, without our walls?

Photo credit: @srochellephoto

When You're Not Connecting With Your Bible

A friend recently shared a testimony and a struggle she’d been having reading scripture and feeling disconnected when reading the Word. She felt guilty because she was supposed to be a woman of faith and yet she felt completely lost in her study time. It was a very discouraging experience for her.

Her testimony was that for Lent she was going to get up earlier so that she could spend more time in the Word. She tried some different translations and a version that she usually didn’t care for ended up being the solution.

She posted this on Facebook and others that were reading her post were encouraged by knowing that they weren’t alone. They too were struggling and shared the same disappointment.

This happens to all of us from time to time. Especially when you’re just starting out. Her experience reminded me of this piece of scripture, and I’d like to share it with you. I’d also like to share some other things that have helped me when I feel disconnected in my own time reading the Bible.

I’m going to go through this passage in its entirety first, then go through it again line by line and share some things that stand out.

This section has a really flashy title too called ‘Philip and the Ethiopian’ Acts 8:26 – 40

26Now an angel of the Lord said to Philip, “Go south to the road—the desert road—that goes down from Jerusalem to Gaza.” 

²⁷ So he started out, and on his way he met an Ethiopian^[a] eunuch, an important official in charge of all the treasury of the Kandake (which means “queen of the Ethiopians”). This man had gone to Jerusalem to worship, 

²⁸ and on his way home was sitting in his chariot reading the Book of Isaiah the prophet. 

²⁹ The Spirit told Philip, “Go to that chariot and stay near it.”

³⁰ Then Philip ran up to the chariot and heard the man reading Isaiah the prophet. “Do you understand what you are reading?” Philip asked.

³¹ “How can I,” he said, “unless someone explains it to me?” So he invited Philip to come up and sit with him.

³² This is the passage of Scripture the eunuch was reading:

“He was led like a sheep to the slaughter, 
    and as a lamb before its shearer is silent,     so he did not open his mouth. 
³³ In his humiliation he was deprived of justice.
    Who can speak of his descendants?
    For his life was taken from the earth.”^[b]

³⁴ The eunuch asked Philip, “Tell me, please, who is the prophet talking about, himself or someone else?” 

³⁵ Then Philip began with that very passage of Scripture and told him the good news about Jesus. 

³⁶ As they traveled along the road, they came to some water and the eunuch said, “Look, here is water. What can stand in the way of my being baptized?” 

^{37 IS A MISSING VERSE -} [^[a]And Philip said, “If you believe with all your heart, you may.” And he answered and said, “I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God.”]

 ^[c]38 And he gave orders to stop the chariot. Then both Philip and the eunuch went down into the water and Philip baptized him. 

³⁹ When they came up out of the water, the Spirit of the Lord suddenly took Philip away, and the eunuch did not see him again, but went on his way rejoicing. 

⁴⁰ Philip, however, appeared at Azotus and traveled about, preaching the gospel in all the towns until he reached Caesarea.

Now verse by verse so that I can pick out the things I’d like to show you.

26Now an angel of the Lord said to Philip, “Go south to the road—the desert road—that goes down from Jerusalem to Gaza.” Philip is traveling alone

²⁷ So he started out, and on his way he met an Ethiopian^[a] eunuch, an important official in charge of all the treasury of the Kandake (which means “queen of the Ethiopians”). This man had gone to Jerusalem to worship, So you have Philip the prophet or interpreter, crossing paths with the Eunuch who has considerable rank. –AND he’s on his way home from church!  

²⁸ and on his way home was sitting in his chariot reading the Book of Isaiah the prophet. So you have the Eunuch making good use of his quiet time. Both of them are traveling solo and well, sometimes life, even the faith-filled one, feels like a lonely road, now doesn’t it?

²⁹ The Spirit told Philip, “Go to that chariot and stay near it.”  Shouldn’t we all be that sensitive to the Holy Spirit and not tied down with all our plans to be too busy. I mean really, if you’re on your way somewhere and you get a tug to check something out or talk to someone, will you be inclined to do it? Or do you have too much to do?” Here it looks like Philip just has to be in ear shot.

³⁰ Then Philip ran up to the chariot and heard the man reading Isaiah the prophet. “Do you understand what you are reading?” Philip asked. Maybe Philip just needed to be close enough to hear what was happening, because once he did, he’d jump right in. haha. But I like that Philip is the one giving some room to the struggle. Initiating the talk. “Do you understand what you are reading?”

³¹ The Eunuch replies “How can I,” “unless someone explains it to me?” So he invited Philip to come up and sit with him. I can't tell you how relieved I was to read that the first time. Hallelujah, even in the Bible they weren’t able to understand it! 😉-- we're not alone!! But after the cat’s out of the bag, the Eunuch asks Philip to come talk. They have fellowship, discussion. They end up reading on in the Bible, and it whets the appetite for more.

³²  Verse 32 to reads This is the passage of Scripture the eunuch was reading: (Remember it was from Isaiah)

Now in your Bible, most of you should have a column that lists other verses off to the side. This is to cross reference sections where similar verses or passages appear that have more information about what you’re reading.  So, if your Bible has this, look at Acts Chapter 8:32-33 and off to the side you should see Isaiah 53:7-8 listed. If you go there, you should see a similar verse. Sometimes the other references will have different content, but it may help you with what you’re reading.

“He was led like a sheep to the slaughter, We are going through the motions, be it church, reading, etc.  Not feeling connected yet thinking that simply because we’re doing it, it’s enough.
    and as a lamb before its shearer is silent, (too still)
    so he did not open his mouth. There are so many ways this verse gets me when I read it, but how many of us are struggling, but we just don’t say a word.
³³ In his humiliation he was deprived of justice.
    Who can speak of his descendants?
    For his life was taken from the earth.”^[b] Pointing back to Jesus. –The gospel!

³⁴ The eunuch asked Philip, “Tell me, please, who is the prophet talking about, himself or someone else?”  - I have to wonder if the Eunuch would have asked his question here if Philip didn’t already get him talking about a challenge earlier on.  –But Philip set the stage by giving him a safe environment, already discussing challenges.

³⁵ Then Philip began with that very passage of Scripture and told him the good news about Jesus.  We’ll talk more about commentary in a minute, but my commentary on this verse in my Bible says that when we share the Gospel with others, we should start with where the other person’s concerns are focused. We see Philip doing just that. Picking up where the Eunuch is reading. But also, Philip is talking to him about the Gospel. How can we work that into our conversations? After all, it’s the Gospel that gets people fired up. It’s what saves. It’s what heals.

³⁶ As they traveled along the road, they came to some water and the eunuch said, “Look, here is water. What can stand in the way of my being baptized?”  - Seriously – let’s talk about hungry. I’m a little on the goofy side but when I see this, I just envision him walking by a mud puddle. “Quick, let’s get baptized, right here!” Then flopping down in the road. It may have even looked like that. Haha. Something tells me it was more graceful. ;)

But have you ever been so hungry that you couldn’t wait? You had to eat something, no matter what it was, right then?

--So hungry that you’ll get up earlier to read more, so hungry that you’ll take the time to try a few translations if you need to. So fired up that you have to share your testimony right then! It just can’t wait. –If you haven’t felt that. I want you to consider if you’re like the lamb--  too quiet. Too still.  

–This guy didn’t talk about getting baptized until he talked about his struggle and got some Jesus in it. The same with my friend and her testimony. –The same with me.

³⁷ IS A MISSING VERSE –

[^[a]And Philip said, “If you believe with all your heart, you may.” And he answered and said, “I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God.”] This is important because I am putting a lot of emphasis on being hungry here. According to scripture, all you need to be saved is to believe in him as your Lord. Then just like that you’re forgiven and accepted.

I am adding the hunger part because there is so much more to the personal relationship that you can have with Jesus. –On earth, as it is in heaven.

 ^[c]38 And he gave orders to stop the chariot. Then both Philip and the eunuch went down into the water, and Philip baptized him. –But isn’t it getting a good Word, the work of the Holy Spirit? It’s what ignites that hunger and makes us accept the call. –or get baptized, even if it is in the middle of the road?

³⁹ When they came up out of the water, the Spirit of the Lord suddenly took Philip away, and the eunuch did not see him again but went on his way rejoicing. Wait- what, he disappeared just like that?  Who knows if he vanished or if the Holy Spirit just led Philip to another location and they got to say bye. Scripture doesn’t tell us that. But I know that it’s our human nature to want to hold on to things. If this meal is good, we’ll make it again. If we like this thing, we want to own it. If we meet someone we like, we want to be friends forever. Especially if there is some significance. But as soon as what was needed was done, they were separated. Both back on their way to their journey.

– Maybe you can Meditate on that today and consider some other reasons why-- or perhaps some things or people you’re trying to hold on to.

This verse says the Eunuch walked away rejoicing. Yet how many times, would you and I be like “I can’t believe he just left me in the middle of the road like that.”

Then months or years later, we’d still be like: “He doesn’t call me. He never writes…” 

How does that minister to you?

⁴⁰ Philip, however, appeared at Azotus and traveled about, preaching the gospel in all the towns until he reached Caesarea. –At the end of the day we all have a job to do, and we have somewhere to be.

That concludes the part of the passage, but you and I have somewhere to be too. I can’t guess all of the struggles that you might have with scripture, but I can tell you that I have my own share of them. Here are some things that have helped me. –Please feel free to comment on the things that help you.

-       Just like my friend, trying other translations. It’s an honorable thing to want to stick to the King James and understand it. –But if it doesn’t make any sense to you, it’s not going to make you want to read it. 

o   NIV or NASB are fairly easy translations to understand.

o   LIFEWAY – You can make an afternoon to go sit on the floor and open any Bible there to compare translations and read the same chapter in each.

o   Browse online at Bible Gateway, Bible Hub or Bible Study Tools.

o   YouVersion Bible for your phone. Each of those will allow you to read all of the translations.

Other tools are:

-       Commentary, this is the history behind passages. It explains the times, significance, things you might not know ‘behind the scenes.' The sites that I just mentioned have commentary available on the sites for free. Or while you are searching for a new Bible, you can look for a Bible that includes it. Like the Life Application Bible, which is what I use. You can still pick from one of the main translations. The only caveat there is that in order to include extra words, the font is much smaller. You may have to buy a much larger font, which can make the right book pretty heavy.

-       Concordance – This is like an index of words, listing all of the verses where each word is included.

-       Dictionaries also help. You can look up the definition, origin, root words in Greek and Hebrew.

-       But my favorite tool is what we see here fellowship. Philip sat down and explained it to him. You and I all see different parts. We’re interested in different things, and so we’ll study different pieces. Some really great conversations happen around questions from the text in the Bible and our own personal challenges. In fact, I too benefited greatly from a study group. It is where I discovered the Bible that I just mentioned and it transformed the way that I read it. If you can’t attend the small group at your church, find out where your friends go and attend another church’s studies if you need to. –Or lead one during your lunch break, at home or in your personal time.

-       Other things that help too are:

-       Setting aside enough time (whether that's earlier or later or somewhere mid-day) so that you can try another translation if you need to, look something else up, etc.

-       Removing distractions

-       Getting a notebook or a word document and writing line by line. Take each line of the Chapter you're reading, write one verse, then look into it with the tools that I mentioned above. You can also rewrite it into your own words. Then do the next. (I got that from the SEED study by Priscilla Shirer-- HUGE help!)

     When a whole chapter doesn't really stand out, look for one thing that strikes you, like a weird phrase or a repetitive word and start there.  (Here's an online Word counter. copy/paste text.) Know that there’s a difference in reading a passage to check it off versus reading to know the details.

-       Ask in Prayer – Ephesians 3:20 says Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. – Ask God to give you a love for his Word, a love for prayer, a love for others.

I hope that some of these tips help you. I’d love to hear the things that have helped you because I too struggle in this area from time to time.  Just like we see in this chapter- We don't know the precise location of either man on their journey, just the same, where ever we are in ours and no matter our rank, our how much faith we have, we all need a friend and a little help on the way!

Finally, I’d like to end with a challenge for you- Go on a treasure hunt!

I mentioned a missing verse earlier from 8:37. There are actually more of them in the Bible. I also talked about the reference verse off to the side in the column of your Bible.  Having something specific to look up is another way to get “into, interested” in the Bible. So, I challenge you this week, to go through and find out about the missing verses, then mark every one of them in your Bible. Or if you’re already reading something else, when you go through it, check out those reference verses on the side. Read what they have to say.

What every you do or where ever you start, I pray that it whets your appetite and ignites a new hunger for the Word.