Making the Leap | Jonah Part 6

Photo by Crimson1d on Deviant Art

When Sophie was about 3 my mother in law got a swimming pool. My own mother had one as well but this new one was now practically in my backyard since our houses are close together. I was adamant the kids had to take swimming lessons for obvious reasons. I found a local class and signed the kids up.

Ethan had been in classes before and was excited about going back. Sophie on the other hand, wanted no parts of water.  She’s always been kind of timid and you could tell that she knew the body of water was bigger than she was.

In this particular pool, there was a little ledge on the inside so children could step down into it then either stand or sit in about 3” water while listening to the instructor. I can’t remember the duration of the classes. I think it was 30 minutes every day for 2 weeks. Sophie never got into the classes at all. While the teacher would talk, Sophie would turn away and face me (along with the other parents) and cry. Repeating “mama” over and over.

Sometimes having the parent present makes it harder on children. So, I tried to sit far away and avert eye contact. If I accidentally made it, I would gesture with my finger in a circle, to turn her toward her teacher and then I would look away. She never stopped crying and often never turned back around to face her. It was positively one of the hardest things that I ever had to do.

The mama voices rang in my head “go rescue her” and at the same time “don’t give in, this is an important life lesson”. So I stuck it out. She NEVER got into the class. 

In fact, it took the rest of that summer for her to tolerate even being carried through the water. We had to start over the following summer; introducing her to the water again. Although, I didn’t do it with classes that time and thankfully by the end of that second summer, she grew to love it.

***

I’ve been writing a little about Jonah lately and I can’t help but see a similar scene from Chapter 1. When the men on the boat realize who’s having the issue, Jonah says in verse 12, “pick me up and throw me into the sea.” Whether or not going overboard is the right answer, Jonah acknowledges that he needs to get ‘right’ with the Lord but

he can’t even bring himself to do it. Someone else has to play a part in getting him to the resolution. -And should we gloss over the fact that it’s an unbeliever or two? I love that! Also, note that everyone in the picture gets restored. Jonah returns to the Lord and everyone else is awakened. (v16)

Anyway, you know what comes next, right? One of those passages that brings the record to a screeching halt-

…a whale did what?

Before I get into that, think about this for a second.

Psalm 139:7 says “Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?”

If the Lord’s presence on Jonah was so intense that he got on a boat and tried to flee and even went to the bottom of the boat without escape; could you imagine what it must feel like inside the whale? Better or worse? What do YOU think are the similarities or contrasts?

While he was on the path of correction in this scene, there were no people to argue with or good scenery to distract him. There was nothing but the Lord to consume him in that place. –Wow, is all that I can say.

Now, I’m going to take you on a detour.

***

All of these Jonah posts have circled around my transition in a job. Wrestling with the promotion until I took it. Then wrestling my way through it. What’s crazy was that there wasn’t any part of the job that was so terrible and I didn’t think that I couldn’t do it. I have no doubt that I would have done [and did do] things well.

It wasn’t about management or even defining the role. Nearly every job I have ever had was either one that I defined or led to a management opportunity. –But there was a restlessness that I could not get away from. No matter how much I prayed or how hard I worked. There was no victory that assuaged the struggle. 

Eventually, I would get to my own ledge and finally tell God that IF all of this twisting was the wrong direction, I’d let go and he could have it. I sat in my bed with my Bible and repented in case I was wrong and I asked God to change my heart if it was not what he wanted. Especially, since I was so certain that he brought me there. I didn’t want to be out of his presence.

In that instant, a friend from Helping Hands camp replied to a text that I’d sent 2 weeks before asking her what verse we were using in the devotions.  Her reply, “Joshua 1:9”.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

The irony struck me…

Later on, when camp actually rolled around, I had a conversation with a friend that led me to turn in my notice (I wrote about that earlier). After I began conversations with HR. I spoke to two other departments about possible openings; just trying to feel out what this might look like. I started updating my resume and began looking at classifieds.

While I pray every day; eventually, there was another significant moment in a prayer for direction. Am I supposed to stay at the bank but just be open to other opportunities?

Imagine my surprise when I get back to work and a coworker and friend whom I didn’t know too well before this says “While I was on vacation, I saw this and just felt like I had to get it for you.”

Only to open a box revealing a star-shaped plaque with the words “Don’t quit” across the top.  

Hmmm. The irony again…

So, I prayed and fasted some more. I practiced taking a break from “me and my ways”. I studied “Discovering God’s Will” and continued “collecting information” and considering opportunities.

But I was tired. Too drained to fully absorb what I was reading in my Bible or to talk and really connect with my family. –And just to be clear, I wasn’t working overtime. The Bank really doesn’t support that and I had been really good about watching how I spent my time. I simply felt consumed by something else instead.

So, I told God I wanted to be able to enjoy him and my family, and ministry and whatever that looked like… I wanted energy again and I wanted those things to be in a place where they got the better parts of me, not just the left overs. It seemed the minute that I said that the marketing opportunity came available.

Not long after that prayer, I was in the branch working on an issue and the Director showed me the job description. I didn’t really think too much of it at first. It didn’t strike me as a fit. But when I got back to my desk, there was another message from a co-worker that needed to talk to me. When I sat down at her desk, she slipped me the same piece of paper. I thought to myself “Okay God, this is weird.” and “If this is what you want for me, don’t let me miss it. Open my eyes.” Later in the week, one more friend called to make sure that I knew about it.

I realize that this might sound like I’m only looking for signs. But I’ve been there done that. When I was looking for signs, I wanted a quick fix, not a relationship and I probably didn’t want to invest a whole lot into reading or praying either.

While it may not always be so blatantly, I believe that the good Lord speaks to us in many ways. Through scripture primarily [like the book of Jonah speaks to me] but also in prayer and through confirmation of others and through restlessness [or affliction] and sometimes even “signs”. –But more importantly, when you’re sincerely and earnestly seeking God, you can begin to see his hand in many things.

-And I do want to point out [and not to fluff myself up but to show the difference in the way we tally answers] that in this junction, I don’t think I have ever prayed so hard and so long in all of my life. I was fasting and going to counseling, doing a study on His will. I wasn’t asking God for any sign like a fleece or a burning bush. I wanted to know HIS will for me. The “signs’ in this case seemed to come from all around me. Everything in me was on him and each “sign” seemed to be lining up with what I was already gathering on my own.

So, I continued through the process and interviewed. Irony struck again  when I remembered that I was originally accepted to VCU for Mass Communications. While I never went to school, here I was 20 years later, likely entering into a position into the same field anyway.

I asked the Director for some activities to get a better picture of what this position would look like. Completing them became part of the interview process as well. Having the ‘real paper in hand’ mystified me in another way altogether.

Years earlier I had started trying to schedule play dates with other moms around free things to do in our area, which involved researching different resources and coordinating with others. I also tried to get involved with the Gloucester Resource Council, which is a deeper network of resources for the community. Yet, I couldn’t seem to get connected no matter how I tried to make it work. I even updated some Facebook pages for our church that required keeping a light calendar of future posts. (Just pointing to experience). -Not to mention that I have this blog and have been considering other ways to write.

After several people asked me to consider the play date thing again; I sat on my couch one-night last summer and tried to plan it out. I kept finding cool things worth sharing-

Anyway, have you ever just asked something out loud? -Kind of rhetorical question or just humoring yourself? Well, that night I did just that! “God, why can’t I have a job where I just do this all day.” –At the time, I didn’t see it as a prayer. I didn’t even really think about the words, it just bubbled out. But it felt like a place that I could be really passionate about if I could just figure out how to work it.

What you might not know is that Chesapeake Bank is incredibly involved in their communities. It’s one of the things that I love about them. In this new position (working with social media) there was a need for some more “connections” in the Gloucester area. The person also needed to work closely with I.T. (and that’s where I already was). In this position, I could also learn a lot about better ways to communicate those things (connections & resources).

When given the assignment to come up with a calendar of events, I noticed the similarities to things I did in my personal time. I remembered that prayer from earlier on my couch and simultaneously the verse “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.” –Psalm 37:4

**Poof**

I might as well fall over.

Not only was he catching me when I let go, he was B-L-O-W-I-N-G my mind.

Kind of like Jonah jumping into the mouth of a whale I suppose….

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[Let that settle]

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A whale…

You don’t have to be a bible scholar or a scientist to know that whales are found deep in the ocean.

And

In my last post, we already looked at the fact that water represents God.

And

I don’t know what kind of storm you're facing or if you’re even facing one at all…

You might not need a whale or a job to prove anything. Your biggest test of faith might even be just staying where you are until this season passes. But the Lord wants to reveal something [that we can’t possibly anticipate] to each of us so that we can trust HIM on another level. –For many of us, the only way to see “that big” is to “get that deep” in the Lord. [1Cor 2:10]

That might not have been Jonah’s plan when he first decided to run from the Lord.  But in Jonah 2:2 says “In my distress, I called to the Lord and he answered me.”

Jonah continues “From DEEP in the realm of the dead I called for help and you listened to my cry.” So maybe your deep was in self, in the bottom of a boat or in some other kind of struggle not even looking for him. But Psalm 139:8 says “If I make my bed in the depths, you are there.” So, if you invite God into your depths; into those most secret pains and struggles and he can come right in and use it just as surprisingly. It’s almost like he just comes in and swirls things around so that your deep becomes his…

Doesn’t Psalm 34:18 say “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

Romans 8:28 say “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

And Isaiah 41:10 says ‘Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’

So why are we so surprised when he does it?

***

Faith is hard, isn’t it?

It’s hard in different ways and at different times for each of us. It’s hard getting started in church. It’s hard to act in the present, in response to something in the future. It’s hard waiting on the Lord. You might have had to wait a month for these posts but it took months to years for some of these pieces to make sense to me. There’s a good chance you’ve been waiting even longer for some of your own pieces to come together.

…and you’re still waiting.

It’s also hard learning how to share your testimony or to pray out loud and boy sometimes it’s hard reading your bible, isn’t it? I will be the first to admit that not only did the verse about the whale stop me but I have had a really hard time with understanding how a man dying on the cross saves me from anything. –I don’t mean that disrespectful, prideful or however that comes out in text. My mind just can’t compute it.

Doesn’t our nature beg us to wait until something makes sense before proceeding? Whether it’s in transitions like jobs or houses, calls to ministry or having a baby or even in the steps of faith and moving forward. Real faith brings us to new ledges all the time. Sometimes the ones outside of church are the hardest to leap from. I guess that’s why Henry Blackaby calls it a Crisis of Belief.

It’s no wonder that it is said that some variation of “fear not” and “do not be afraid” is shown more than any other command in the Bible.  

But did you know this-

Jesus himself referred to Jonah in Matt 12:40 “For as Jonah was three days and three nights in the belly of a huge fish, so the Son of Man will be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth.“

In his book “Surprised By Grace”, Pastor Tullian Tchividjian refers to the book of Jonah as a storied presentation of the Gospel. You can find many lists and commentaries from others that also compare the similarities between the two. (This is a cool one.) Not just for the reference to 3 days being hidden away. They were both “messengers” and called to face a people and persecution.

You know what gets me the most about both of those; is the transformation that happens while you are hidden away with God alone. Jesus was resurrected. Jonah was suddenly strong enough to hit the ground running. Although, this time, it wasn’t away from the Lord. He did exactly as the Lord instructed.

NEVER underestimate your time alone with the Lord in prayer!

My favorite part is that Jonah gets a second chance to do what he was called to do and isn’t that why Christ died on the Cross in the first place; to give us second chances? Don’t get stuck on the word “second” as if you need to correct or redo. It’s not always about that! A good synonym for second is next. – You might even call it “new”.  

You may never understand what the heck a boat, a storm, and a whale have to do with anything. You may never understand how a man dying on a cross changes everything. I still don’t understand it. But I can assure that if you can take your hands off the deck of your life and be bold enough to make the plunge [however & where ever He’s leading you], there is a grace as certain as the sea and as surprising as a whale that will blow your mind.

***

Even when I look back at the image of Sophie standing on the edge of the pool; it’s hard for me not to see the similarities in our positions and the instructions that we both got from above. Just as I wanted her to be safe, I knew ultimately that it would bring her joy. And THAT is what the Lord promises to each of us, my friend.

If you don't know that you've gotten your answer, wait right where you are until you get it. You're where you're supposed to be. Ask God what you can learn right in this season and ask him to show you someone that you can help along the way. On the other hand, if he's leading you to jump, you can do it. Don't delay!

I noticed after posting this that her bathing suit was covered in peace signs. It's worth pointing out that I too am pretty peaceful these days. The same God that brings the storm can also still it. Seek his hand and follow where He leads. :)

Blessings to you!

Found on Deviant Art by Crimson1d, then modified

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The Talent

I heard a story about a friend the other day. It was quick and over the top and just the type of story that I would expect to hear about this person. In fact if you knew the person at all, you'd know that this person is a "grab life by the horns" kind of guy. Fearless.

The story was interrupted before I got all of the details but on my way home I couldn't stop thinking of the bits I knew. In fact when I retreated to my car, to my surprise, I cried simply because it touched me so deeply. I was in awe.

I let out a prayer to God. One of mixed emotions; maybe with shame, relief, confusion and to question- It had been a few years since I've seen or heard from this person and so why is this affecting me so much now...

Fast Forward

I started a new study last week with my Sunday School class called "Created To Be God's Friend" by Henry Blackaby. Day two starts with a sentence "Only one life to live, and it will soon be past, and only what is done with God will last. This can, if one believes this truth, bring to all of life an urgency to live meaningfully and to live well."

I continue on in the chapter and then answer the first question. "How would your family and friends know that you live life with intentional focus and certainty to the point that you do not waste life or live life carelessly?" To which I replied: I'm told that I am sensitive and think too much and/or take things too seriously but also that I make things magical (in a sense). I think that is definitely because of my relationship with God and because I consider "MORE" than just what I see!

Moving on in the chapter the summary asks us to "Write a statement here that God has used most in your life today." And my pen spilled over...

"[Repeating my response to the last question] I guess I feel like God is trying or has been trying for a while now; to help me celebrate and want to cultivate what makes me different. I used to let the devil isolate me with my differences or make me feel like something was wrong with me. [Like over explaining and thinking too much]. But when I start thinking about the good that God could do with my differences; I start looking for those special ways that I can serve. Then I look for how I can do just a teensy bit more to give God GLORY. -To provoke thought, to inspire or to endear.

When I slow down to think about those things- When I remove the distractions in my life so that I am free to take my time- If I put my heart in it- I am really proud of the woman that God thought I could be. What other way can I give Glory to God than by doing my best to be that person?!"

Ooh my heart was stirred and my eyes filled with tears. I thought of my friend again then continued to write. "There was a period in my life where I compared everything because the devil was still using my differences to make me feel like I didn't have it right. So, I tried to hide that part of me away. In hiding myself and in keeping God in a quiet corner, I allowed the devil to twist my longings with things that I felt were worth comparing."

Back up

Back in December I started the study "When Godly People Do Ungodly Things" by Beth Moore. It's a study about the ways that you can become "had" by the Devil. This was also right around the time I started allowing God to really get into the meat of my identity. Around page 40 a class mate said the material made him consider the Parable of the hidden talent and then he read it to us.

You might be familiar with this chapter because it's usually tied to the subject of money or tithes or giving. Yet somehow it became so literal to me. The parable of our hidden talent. I'd never considered hiding things of me [good or bad] as a sin against God, especially when those things were related to insecurity. I came home and started a post but could never find the words to fill it.

Meanwhile (Another side trail)

For a while now I've started letting God pull me back from other activities so that I could spend more time with him. (I know that sounds strange but I will elaborate more on another day.) I also started doing random little things, like writing letters to people that touch me. Stopping to do something (that often seemed silly or pointless) for someone else. Praying with people, even if I didn't know them. I've even started giving some personal things or time away but with a scripture and personal story that tied it all together but for God's name instead of mine.... (That's not to toot my own horn, please keep reading.)

But suddenly-

All at once this morning it came together in my heart. My friend inspired me to be deeper and more meaningful and to want to unearth greatness. His unique contribution in my own life simply reminded me or magnified my own desires for those very same purposes.

Thankfully, God led me to realize [back then] that I was drawing too close to my friend. I confessed to God and even to my friend. Almost immediately my mountain moved and our ties were severed.

In that time since I have seen my him; I have really re-evaluated my life. I've scaled back on a lot of things and I've poured my heart into my own faith, myself and my family. In each one of those moments that I explained where I have given something personal of myself -God has moved me. In such a way that words and testimony just can't explain. I found that same awe inspiring greatness. In me. Not of me. Not because of me but in what the holy spirit does inside my heart and mind that causes me to want to move.

Let me restate: When I allowed God to come into all of the parts of my life, he became able to move me. Every time that he does, I find that thing that I have been longing for. It is almost always by the thing that he asks me to do. And yet, it's only when I do it in a way that only I can do, do I feel that he gets the glory.

One of my favorite quotes is by Theodore Roosevelt. "Comparison is the greatest thief of joy". Joy is a promise and a gift of the holy spirit. It's not based on circumstance or talent. It is a reward of obedience and a satisfaction that comes from being true to God. While comparison on the other hand, keeps us from looking at who and or what we are to obey.

Comparison might have allowed me to draw too close to someone else and potentially away from others. But aren't those desires that we feel that we need to compare, the very same ones that God wants to cultivate inside each of us or our lives? He calls to us in our heart and reaches into the depths of our souls. Wanting to pull out this "talent" we've hidden away. So that HE can make us radiate and shine for his Glory!

If we allow ourselves to watch anyone other than God, it becomes an invitation for the Devil to.... just confuse us.

So why the tears?

Of course I missed my friend and my heart spilled over for what he has been able to accomplish and the places his life has taken him. The latest news made my heart glad to see that he was still as I remember him.

It was also a moment of rejoicing. I mean just looking at where the Lord has taken me and how listening but also guarding my heart truly saves... -No matter what our circumstances are, or what our minds, or even our feelings might lead us to believe otherwise. My life is pretty incredible these days and in that very same token this occurrence just reminded me of how close I could've been had by the devil.

Also, I think the tears were a sign that healing was coming. Once I sat down and really calculated these thoughts, it seemed to finally heal a sensitive place.

Lastly, my friend might actually be afraid of many things but he never let fear stop him. Perhaps that alone is all it really takes to make a difference in someone else's life. -Even your own.

Always guard your heart. For all that you do flows from it. Proverbs 23:7 

Greater is he that is IN me than he that is in the world. 1 John 4:4


To the reader: 

Isn't it longings that send people after money and chasing dreams, leaving spouses and sadly even sometimes leaving this life voluntarily? We seem to spending most of our lives looking for accountability partners, advice, etc. but God is calling, reaching, and waiting to fill those desires and we simply go the other way.

Spend some time this week (and longer) really considering what makes you different. What is it that you wish you could do differently? Then consider what it is that people compliment you on. How are they connected? Ask yourself what it is that you've been longing for?  Are you connecting a longing with a specific person or thing?  Take a moment to ask God if it's really that which you are after or if perhaps it's him.... Ask him to fill it and redirect it instead.

Don't want what someone else has. Want what God wants to give you. Often we already have all of the pieces. Sometimes we just need to rearrange our view.

Beyond words (Job 32:18) ... HE satisfies. (Psalm 63:2-5)

Making It Special!

When I was a kid I used to spend all of my summers with my grandparents. My Dad was stationed in Virginia when I was young. All of our family, on both sides, was from and remained, in Florida. At the beginning of each summer I would go down to visit. My grandparents would take turns swapping me in a parking lot every weekend until summer's end. Then I would finally return home.

While each summer seemed magical in its own way; one particular summer stood out more than others. My grandfather's brother came down for a visit. I didn't know "Uncle Albert" or his wife, Lucienne very well but Uncle Albert had a camper and we all piled in to go for a ride. I didn't even know where we were going and at the time it didn't matter. I was able to ride on a mattress above the driver's seat and look out funny windows during the entire ride.  I never once had to buckle up! Uncle Albert suddenly became the coolest person that I had ever met! -At least in that moment. 

After a long drive, we pulled into the parking lot of Sea World. Being an animal lover, I loved it before we ever went through the gate but it would truly become one of the highlights of my childhood. We admired fish and bought trinkets at the gift shop. We ate food with funny names and watched as many of the shows as we could fit in. My favorite part was the seal show. Not only for their cuteness and silly stunts but there was a significance to this show that would soon make it hard to beat. 

Toward the close of the show a seal broke out of routine, swam to the edge of the pool and climbed out. He headed straight for the audience and went up the first tier of stairs and then the second. The instructor was calling his name to return to the pool. The crowed studied the stray as he ignored each request and continued to climb higher and higher.

In my mind, I am thinking "Oh please come to me. Come to me!" I am sure that I am bent down, holding my hands out and calling his name, just as earnestly as his instructor was calling. As the seal climbed the third tier of steps, he answered my plea. He came right to me and planted a big fishy kiss on my lips.

The crowd awed and I melted.  Though it was only a moment, time paused and I was in love. I patted his wet body and tickled his whiskers and begged for another smooch. As quickly as he came, even faster he went, as he slid down the stairs back to the pool; as if to slip in line and say "Hey master, here I am. See, I never left." I was certain that he sought me out of the crowd and I was sold. I felt special.

OF COURSE seals became my favorite animal. This was the.best.vacation.ever. At any opportunity I was ready to return to an aquarium, secretly hoping for another moment just like "the one" to take shape again. Years later, I still think of that day and smile. 

Psalm 119:64 says "The earth is full of Your loving kindness, O LORD; Teach me Your statutes."

As I reflect on that verse, it holds so many nuggets for me alongside such a simple story. The promise of each day. The beauty of life and all of God's creatures. The way that we bond with time and others through different experiences.

I also think of the way that we treasure only some of our moments. Sometimes we spend so much energy trying to recreate something that we've already gotten to experience. We leave no resource available to the "new". In our efforts of trying to get to the 'one spot' again, we wear out the very thing that used to thrill us. Yet what if I had another "grand experience" before this moment and I missed this one altogether because it couldn't possibly compare to one before it?

On a sadder note, how many of our more painful moments are held onto with such regard?  ...The one big sin, the one big loss, the one time that the 'one thing' happened. By holding onto those experiences, we also allow ourselves to feel special. In doing so, we isolate ourselves to our own interests, away from God and others.

Throughout the bible, scripture asks us to be the salt and to win others over. Rather than looking for moments that make us feel special, Philippians 2 asks us to shine like the stars instead. -Burning for God in such a way that we simply shine within each moment. I just can't imagine anything more special than "shining".

As I challenge myself to draw closer to God, I can't help but ask myself- Do I wake up seeking him just as earnestly as other moments because time with him is my favorite time of all? Am I open to each gift that he sets before me, no matter how it's packaged? Do I see the journey there as a gift within itself? Am I so excited about where I am that I can't help but embrace anyone that is near me? Is this the.best.opportunity.ever? 

Some of those questions strike me. Convict me. Thankfully we aren't paused in time. Once God created us, we became a living soul. We are free to move forward and well, live. But for which experiences are we living for?

Paul considered everything a loss when compared to the greatness of knowing Christ. I too have found that every moment that I am in tune with the Holy Spirit, is equally meaningful. When I combine that fact with knowing that he is always with me. I can add him to every moment of every day. Then any opportunity can be a moment that is hope-filled and joyful.

Theodore Roosevelt said that "comparison is the thief of joy". Finding joy is not about picking, choosing and waiting only for the right experiences to embrace. It's remembering what to bring into (God) and give of (Self) in each circumstance that makes the difference.

Psalm 118:24 - This is the day that the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Obviously the picture above isn't me but it IS terribly cute, isn't it? For continued reading check out the book of Philippians. It's only 4 chapters. Try spreading it out over the week and meditating on it. Journal some of those special thoughts and pray about what they might mean to you.