Hello, ‘Other Side Of The Hill’ Here I Come!!!

This past Friday was my fortieth birthday. I am not exactly sure what possessed me to start looking up things about the number 40 or when it started. But it’s definitely been on my mind for quite a long time now. While life is busy and I haven’t been able to get as deep as I would like, the part that I have gleaned about that number has made this birthday mean more than I could’ve expected. Whether or not there is a hill ‘to go over,’ it is a cornerstone. -Perhaps a ‘coming of age’ that I hope all of us are blessed enough to find. Let me share:

You may not know that in the bible the number 40 represents periods of trial and testing. You see this when:

-        Jonah told Ninevites that destruction was coming in 40 days – Jonah 3:4

-        Jesus ‘went away’ to the desert for 40 days to fast and pray and while there he was tested by the devil – Matthew 4:1-11

-        God destroyed the Earth with a flood; it rained for 40 days and 40 nights – Genesis 7:12

-        In Deuteronomy 25:3 a judge deemed that the maximum number of lashes that a person could receive for punishment was 40 stripes. Some believe that’s how many Jesus received, but there’s are disputes about whether or not ‘lashes’ are the same as scourging (which Jesus received). Plus, there isn’t a number of lashes mentioned in the bible for Jesus. It’s is also believed that many Jews followed a rule of 39. They would give 40 lashes ‘minus 1’ because it was believed that 40 would kill a person and it was essentially a death sentence. In 2 Corinthians 11:24 Paul said that he received that exact punishment ’40-1’ on FIVE different occasions by the Jews.

-       You’ll also see that it was 40 years that Moses and the Israelites spent in the wilderness - Deuteronomy 8:2-5

There are many more examples of this in the Bible, and you can google them, but you get the idea. That last one is probably the one that gets me the most because it sounds so much like trials of life; dry spells, loneliness, and hardship. The way that we complain or simply get discouraged because we can’t SEE or don’t understand what is happening.

Don’t get me wrong the Israelites endured much and not just desert conditions. But through it all there was a God that was IN THEIR MIDST, leading them, day and night. –He produced miracle after miracle on their way through. While the whole goal was in getting them to the promise land, the purpose was to get them to DEPEND ON HIM to get there but also to be their DAILY provider.

This season was also a place where, as a leader, Moses character was tested and developed. Not just in his own dependence and trust, but in the way that he ‘reacted’ to the people. He was ‘the speaker’ even though he had little faith that God could use him, and many believe that he had a stutter (because of the NLT translation of Exodus 4:10). Either way, he resisted the call over and over with the same excuses you and I use. (I am not good enough Ex 3:11, I don’t have all of the answers Ex 3:13, People won’t believe me Ex 4:1, I am a terrible speaker Ex 4:10, I am not qualified Ex 4:13).

My Bible commentary says “Personal greatness doesn’t make anyone immune to error or its consequences.” And throughout the entire life of Moses or the story of the Israelites, “God did not change WHO or WHAT Moses was; he did not give Moses new abilities and strengths. Instead, he took Moses characteristics and molded them until they were suited to his purposes.’

It took a huge chunk ‘of a lifetime’ for God to get Moses to ‘let him use’ what he created in the first place and for its intended purposes.”

Sadly, part of what kept them in the wilderness was their disbelief. God told them to take possession of the land (Ex 3:8), yet they became convinced they could not, even though God told them they could do it. It was their lack of belief in what God said (even the good stuff he promised) that brought along his wrath. This led to 40 years of wandering the desert until an entire generation died off.

What kills me here is that you know they wanted the promise land. You know they wanted the miracles and a LOVING, PERSONAL, God that was WITH them. I mean, all of us need someone who has an aerial shot of the ‘big picture,’ and we want someone to guide us. How could they not want that too? But their stubbornness is so much like our own.  –Especially in the first half of our lives trying to do things ‘our way.’ Trying to create a certain type of life or trying to be polar opposite of something else that we’ve seen. We’re so ‘focused’ on the goal that sometimes, we’re not even paying attention to the details. Is this goal, the right goal for me?

(Not just what you think sounds good. And not just what you’ve been repeating for all these years. But in the quiet, soft place, if you acknowledge a daydream, what are those details that you dare tell no one because it sounds too corny, it doesn’t have an ‘earth shattering purpose’, or it feels unrealistic?  --That IS a goal or could be, FYI. And our disappointments in life might really be because we’re not lined up here.)

But if God could grant us any promise that we desire, in our future, what does that land look like? Are we in line to get there?  Where are we at in that? Are we in our bodies enough to see how that lines up with our heart and the world around us or are we fixated on why we can’t take a short cut to that place we’ve been busy trying to get to?

…over the hump or hill…

People make ‘40’ sound like a bad thing with ‘over the hill’ like it’s only depressing or rough on the other side. I guess I see how people think that, but it just doesn’t resonate with me. I mean, yes, I once ran off the side of a fort wall on the Yorktown battlefields when I was paying more attention to the wind keeping my kite up, instead of where the ground ran out. Going down the hill hurt. FOR SURE! The entire sides of those ‘fort walls’ seem to be covered in stumps of thorn bushes! I don’t know if that’s a fluke or if it was intentional to keep the enemy out and now the park rangers cut them down so tourists can climb them. But, when I fell, I bounced and bumped onto every stump, the whole way down. I even had thorns INSIDE my bra.

And some of my more recent and ‘metaphorical’ stumbles or physical displays of ‘falling down’ have been even uglier. They’ve hurt worse, hurt others, and have even landed me flat on my face. And ‘soul hurt’ is a whole other kind of hurt that isn’t as easy to recover from. But isn’t that just what the Israelites also had to endure. —Being humbled. 

You’ll often hear that the ‘bad things’ that happen in life aren’t always because of our inadequacies (as if we could control everything). But also, they aren’t necessarily a reflection of our worthiness or even a reflection of the effort that we put into something. It’s not always due to sin or some bad karma or juju that came to pay you back. I am not even convinced that it’s because we’ve taken something for granted. In looking at the ‘big picture’ through the story of the wilderness, I think I’ve decided that for the first time ever, I don’t have to know why. Maybe the ‘bad things’ are simply a result of something greater that God wants US to see, and to produce in us, and somewhere else that he wants us to be. A place flowing with milk and honey. (Which is how God described the promise land. Ex 3:17)

It’s not that he doesn’t want you to have things now, or be happy, or that he wants to intentionally hurt any of us. True yes, life is more than getting everything we want, ‘being all fat and happy’. It’s about giving too. And scripture says it is better to GIVE than to receive! But somehow a large part of us all too often live as if we weren’t meant to receive at all and therefore we don’t fully embrace it, put ourselves out there, or allow ourselves to be seen. (And I could write a whole other tangent/post here but just think about that for a minute. ALL of our senses work best when we are ‘taking in’ –seeing, smelling, tasting, touching, hearing—not giving out but taking IN! How much more could that apply to a spiritual level??? Don’t tell me God made us to ‘not get’ anything out of life!)

And yet, we deny ALL kinds of things. Some, for really noble, ‘God glorifying’ reasons. (So, I don’t mean that condemning.)

God takes us the long way to teach us this human tendency, and to show you who he is and why you need him.

Deuteronomy 29:5-6 says it best “For forty years I, the Lord, led you through the desert, but your clothes and your sandals didn’t wear out, and I gave you special food. I did these things so that you would realize that I am your God.” But the Lord must give you a change of heart before you truly understand what you have seen and heard.

It does you no good to be in a land with ‘milk and honey’ if you’re going to complain about it, or if you aren’t prepared to receive it, or embrace it, and allow yourself to take it in for the incredible gift that it is.

Sometimes you and I (WE) need to see how much more we desire than what we say, think, feel, or act as we do. –And those trials in life have a way of bringing that out a little deeper in us.

But also, in the first verse that I shared Deuteronomy 8:2-5 he more specifically says that he does this to show you that you need more than food and clothes. He takes us through the wilderness to learn that we need, not just one or two, but EVERY WORD of God to truly LIVE –and to be ALIVE- and not just ‘get through’ life. Ahem, ‘Alive in Christ!’

I tell you this. Faith is a deeply personal thing. Everything that we do hinges on how much faith you have and what you believe. And sitting in a church listening to a sermon doesn’t take near as much faith as stripping apart lines in a bible and, praying them, or trying to live by them, and apply them to your core. But I am certain that the things that have given me strength in life and even a healthier view, have been less about physical needs and more about ‘spiritual bread’ that I’ve indigested.

But you know what else? Do you know why that ‘over the hill’ reference doesn’t resonate with me? It’s because I’ve also had a lot of great times going down the hill. In fact, the very best ones were when I laid down on my belly, rolled with it, and embraced them for what they were. If God wants me to be me, and if God promises he can use it, (no matter how much I screw it up), and if he’s gonna lead me to a promise land, who am I to argue?

Trust me. I see a lot of myself in Moses, and I think that I’ve subconsciously spent a lifetime arguing and resisting, even while I was trying to serve him with all of my heart. It has been SO.MUCH.HARDER in the long run. I’m kind of tired of the punishment I’ve brought on.

I do not mean that I am getting ready to be a perfect display of Christ – I couldn’t do it if I tried. The last I checked, I am as human as it gets.

But I AM READY to plunge forward, and let God show me how to fall—completely— forward-- into my path, and ALL that he promises. ❤ 

This might be a little corny but the last I checked, there’s a song that says he fits the whole world in the palm of his hands. I pray that you’re able to leap with me and for once trust that he can catch you too. In fact, I encourage you to print this out and read it (or look at it) every day for 40 days – asking God how and where you can apply it. Then read through the chapters that cover this story in the wilderness.

If you’ve been following me on Facebook, you’ve seen that I’ve recited poetry terribly when I am nervous and shared paintings that look nothing like the tutorial that I follow. –I share many other things that don’t turn out right.

But for me, that’s kind of my ‘Moses Moment’ Who am I, God, to do XYZ’?

But not only does sharing those examples help me get comfortable just being me but in a world of social media where everything ‘looks perfect’ I prefer to be real. I mean there’s a lot of good in my world, but I hear so many women compare themselves or discredit themselves. I think it’s partially because it’s easier for us only to display things that we deem perfect. I can’t keep up with that pace anymore, and I think we all miss out on a lot by not being willing to practice the raw.

My deepest hope is that if I can be bold enough to step out, then it might give you a little bit of faith that you can step out and do things terribly too on the off chance that now and then we’ll get it right – just like he says!  --And I mean that from the very bottom of my heart. Happy ‘Birth’ day – to all of us!

--

You may also like these related posts that I have found.

Desert Lessons – 7 things that we can learn from the Israelites wandering years

Moses Five Excuses

Oh and this link because everything is better with a little Van Morrison in it and this song just so happens to be perfect!  When will I ever learn to live in God

And just when I thought I couldn’t love that song more, I discover that Bill Murray covered it.  A comedian/actor, off-key, full of strings, and from the belly of his soul, and you know what. He meant it. And it was beautiful! I might have cried a little. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qs_ehhWDMaA

The Pillar of Salt | A Story About Lottie & Bart

In this post, I'll be sharing a little testimony but also a little instruction from the lady who became a pillar of salt and a blind man named Bartimaeus. If you’re struggling with change or wondering why you can’t move forward, or if you’re not making the progress that you’d like, check out this post. I hope it helps and encourages you wherever you are.

--

First—know that if you haven’t read it before, Genesis 19 it is a disturbing chapter. (This is the chapter where we see Lot’s wife. Sadly she isn’t named. So, I may just call her ole Lottie.) We can look at our TV’s and talk about ‘how bad the world is getting’ and see plainly that even before television, there were corrupt people. We can also see that a lot of potentially innocent people may or may not have been at the mercy of the wicked ones. I am not going to delve into that chapter now but you do need to at least know that ‘some stuff went down’ before Lot’s wife became a pillar.

Lot happens to be the main character in this chapter. You can read more about him in chapters 11-19 of Genesis. Here in Chapter 19, he ran into two angels in town and invited them into his home so that he could feed them and show them hospitality. The scene turns ugly when some people from the town find out about Lot’s visitors. This led the Angels to blind “the bad guys” and then they help the Lord destroy the place. –As in the little town known as Sodom and Gomorrah.

[Insert Map]

But first, the Angels told Lot to get all of his family, his wife, and their sons and daughters, and get out of dodge. This is where Lot’s wife comes in.

Verse 16:

When he [Lot] hesitated, the men grasped his hand and the hands of his wife and his two daughters and led them safely out of the city, for the Lord was merciful to them. As soon as they had brought them out, one of them said “Flee for your lives! Don’t look back and don’t stop anywhere in the plain. Flee to the mountains or you will be swept away.”

Lot persuades the fellas to let him go to another location that was closer to him so that he might be able to reestablish himself in. –But in verse 26 good ole Lot’s wife, just can’t resist the urge and- 

“Lot’s wife looked back and she became a pillar of salt.”

Well then…

-

-

-

Commentary in my Bible suggested that she turned back to look at the smoldering city. Clinging to the past, she was unwilling to turn away completely. Then it asks you to consider what might be holding you back?  You can’t make progress with God as long as you are holding onto pieces of your old life.

I don’t know about you but personally, in my own life, I can tell you that there were some things in my past that I only wish that I could burn up. -Like things from high school or middle school. Many of them haunted me for years. There was unforgiveness, hurt, and embarrassment. You know- those crazy things we did when we were younger. (Gah).

-

-

-

Here we see that Lot and his wife are offered a transition or a way out but instead of moving forward she is forever preserved with the label ‘stuck in the past’.

Sadly, that is all that we get to see about her. The rest is left to us to piece together.

But there’s a little bit of her in all of us, isn’t there? Here are a few things that I see from my own life that have caused me to stumble the same way.

The first thing that I see is fear.

Being too afraid to step out and try something different. The truth is, I didn’t even know I was afraid. I relied comfortably on my own life experiences as facts. If I hadn’t been something before, then it didn’t quite make sense that I should become it now. Only, I didn’t realize that’s how I was adding things up. But if you know me, you know math ain’t really my thing.

But aren’t we all a little like that. If there isn’t first proof of something… then why should we suspect otherwise? I guess that’s why they call it faith. You know, believing in what you cannot see.

Poor old Lot’s wife is looking in the wrong direction and not necessarily because she wants to hang on. I mean, sure it could’ve been her comfort zone, even if it was a pretty uncomfortable place to be; But maybe this whole ‘looking back’ is simply because it’s the only thing that she knows. She doesn’t know any better or any different. She’s spent a significant portion of her life there. She may not be trying to ‘look backward’ or hang on.

Whether it’s her identity or her heart, it’s a part of her. She might not know how to separate or disconnect.

If you pause for a moment, doesn’t this image help you see why leaning on our own understanding is so dangerous?

-

-

-

Or what about this-

The second thing that I see is pride and insecurity.

When the angels tell Lot that they’re going to destroy his home, they tell him that it’s because “the outcry against the place is so great.” Somebody is praying for God to intervene!

Could the ones praying be Lot, his family, or even his wife? Who knows?

Sometimes we know the situation that we’re in is bad too. We pray about it. The Lord brings a solution and then we’re like “Nah, I’ll wait to see what’s behind door number two.”

-You didn’t have any food to eat and a neighbor invited you to dinner but you weren’t feeling social or you didn’t like what was on the menu. So you stayed home. Hungry.

Or you got the job but it wasn’t the one you wanted. So, you pass it all up and keep struggling along.

Then you’re mad because God didn’t answer the way that you wanted.

And insecurity—well, I talk a lot about that already on my blog and my own personal struggles with it. It doesn’t matter if it’s self-doubt, false humility, or how ‘you’re just being honest with your lack of x, y, z …’ it’s related to your ego. It’s on the pride spectrum.

But remember Proverbs 16:18 says that “Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall.”

When the good Lord asks you to step out and do a new thing and you pull back then cover it up because it doesn’t match what you believe or who you’ve established yourself to be – that’s pride and that’s a sin.

Don’t be afraid. Just believe. –Mark 5:36 

Third, what about rubberneckin' (sometimes also mixed with comparison)?

Aren’t we all rubber-neckers to some degree? I mean you can’t drive down the road and pass someone pulled over on a shoulder, let alone having some sort of intervention, without at least glancing at it. Sodom was where Lot’s wife lived. Shouldn’t she be interested in what was happening to it?

Sometimes, we’re just too curious about things that aren’t or are no longer our business. –Like people’s opinions of us. You might feel the Lord leading you to do x, y, z but first, you have to check with ‘so and so’ to see if that really makes sense and if it doesn’t make sense to them, then maybe it won’t for you either.

When God tells you to move on, and you’re still hanging around, checking in, it can burn you.

Remember that verse ‘Love of the world leads to death’. We may intend to be obedient to the Lord’s calling, but if we can’t break out of our comfort zone because it’s uncomfortable- or if we don’t do something because someone or something ‘in the world’ is holding us back. – It’s sin.

Both ways [love of your way and love of the world’s way] lead to death.

-

-

-

Fourth and last – how about simply not paying attention – or not being present?

What if she suddenly remembered that she forgot something? The Lord didn’t tell her that she could take anything but maybe ‘reflex’ turned her head around. –You know like ‘Oh crap, did I leave the iron on’? –or did she forget the pictures?

Do any of you have reflexes or reactions? They just kick in before you even have time to process? You really have to be ‘alert’ to override your reflexes. (This means not getting so far ahead of all of the things that you have to do-- that you aren’t paying attention to where you’re at. It’s a critical moment. Tune in!)

Romans 8:6 tells us that “The mind governed by the flesh (maybe that incessant worry or to do list) is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit (trusting in the present) is life and peace.”

That might be my own emphasis but ouch! – We’ve all got reflexes, right?

-

Whatever her reason was, she was not obedient when it came the appointed time. Even though she may not have been trying to be ‘disobedient’. The Lord gave one tiny little command…

and she became a pillar…

Like a monument.

Not a pile of salt or granules blown or ‘swept away’ like the Angels promised. A pillar. I think that’s interesting because scripture tells us in Isaiah that the Lord will wash every single one of our sins away. All of them.

But our example? –It may become one that is used to show others how not to be or what consequences will come, for eternity.

-

-

-

Okay so you get the sin and the pillar part but why salt? Why didn’t she return to the dust of the ground or simply drop dead like we’ve seen others do before?

Well, here’s what I know about salt:

·       It gives things flavor and makes food taste better by bringing out the better qualities of the other ingredients.

·       It can make us thirsty or whet our appetites.

·       Many believe that it has healing properties, whether it’s consumed or by simply being near it.

But also, look at what Matthew 5:13 says:

“You are the salt of the earth. But if salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again. It’s no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.”

I think the use of the word 'salt’ here embodies the promise of who we are to be called to be- [the salt of the earth].

·       Light and encouragement, loving and kind, serving and helping – essentially making things better for others, and glorifying God.

·       We are encouraged to whet appetites so that others want to drink from the word of God.

·       Both of those bullets get better as we spend time with him and get to know God personally; growing in our own faith. That is where the healing part comes in.

If you’ve tuned out, please hear this-

By that ‘monument that she’s made of salt’ – I think it stands as a reminder that by looking back (regardless of the reason), you’re not only dissolving your future but dissolving the better part of it and what the Lord has promised us in His Word.

Bam, right?

I mean think about it. So many of us struggle with a lack of confidence, shame, guilt, regret, grief, insecurity, etc. You name it. We let it slide because it is so overwhelming that it must be bigger than us. It must be who we are or how we were made to be.  –Like that thorn that was never removed from Paul.

But that’s exactly how a stronghold looks and works in our lives. It is something that has a ‘strong hold’ and keeps you from looking ahead, from believing, from moving forward. If the devil can get you to stay there, then he might keep you from the victory that lies ahead.

I can’t think of any hold stronger than to be forever preserved as a pillar of unfulfilled promises.

-

-

-

Now let that settle for a minute because I’m going to jump tracks show you how to move forward, using the example that I see in Bartimaeus.

Alright, you ready? (Feel free to pause if you need more time.)

In Mark 10:46-52  we see a blind man named Bartimaeus that encounters Jesus. The text reads:

Then they came to Jericho. As Jesus and his disciples, together with a large crowd, were leaving the city, a blind man, Bartimaeus was sitting by the roadside begging. When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!” Many rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!” Jesus stopped and said, “Call him.” So they called to the blind man, “Cheer up! On your feet! He’s calling you.” Throwing his cloak aside, he jumped to his feet and came to Jesus. “What do you want me to do for you?” Jesus asked him. The blind man said, “Rabbi, I want to see.” “Go,” said Jesus, “your faith has healed you.” Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus along the road.

-

-

I repeat: “Go. Your faith has healed you.” Then immediately the man received his sight and followed Jesus along the road.

_

_

In many ways, my faith has also healed me. But doesn’t it come in increments? I can tell you specific areas where I have been healed but there is ALWAYS something that we are blind to. Like the blind man, the only way to receive that spiritual sight is with a little ‘come to Jesus meeting’ of your own.

Allowing ourselves to ‘be present’ sitting and waiting on the Lord. Ready to engage! This will also require that we’re willing to get really honest and to the point about what’s going on with you. Then moving forward from that place. (And sometimes no matter how ‘honest’ we are with ourselves, we’re still blind to our own personal truths. It’s a good thing Jesus can come to us. And he’ll lay it on ya when you’re ready.)

What I love about this image is that verse 50 says “He threw his cloak aside”. Basically, you’re going to have to let some things go.

Is it the things that you hide behind or under? Is it the things that others identify you with, like your reputation, or is it the things that bring you comfort? – You might need to give something up in exchange for the thing that you’re asking for.

The very next line is – He jumped to his feet.  He took Action. He tried something not really knowing how it was going to work out.

Isn’t ironic that it’s the one with vision that had to have someone take them BY THE HAND and lead out of the city? Yet it was the blind man that was able to jump and go…

That’s not really all that surprising though is it? How many things do we think we know because of our experience, or our religion, or our education? It’s hard to ‘unknow’ something! –Yet, we’re more blind, with what we know, than someone who’s never had the experience. It’s a lot easier to learn something for the first time than to unlearn it another way first.

Anyway-

Can you imagine with me for a minute if you will, what that might have been like for him now that can suddenly see? So check in and go slow with me…

·       He’s still going to have to practice some new interactions. –He hasn’t left the place and he’s not technically a different person.

o   It’s the same with any habit, like quitting smoking – you may not be able to have that cup of coffee in the morning, or sit with your spouse outside to rehash the day because that’s where you both smoke together.

o   When you quit drinking, you may not be able to go to some of the places that you used to go. Even if it’s your dearest friends house.

o   When you join a recovery program, you might have to turn the whole world off and be alone a lot more, to get to the heart of those truths and learn your why and how to heal them.

o   Practicing faith, leaving a job, starting a hobby—ANY CHANGE will require you to do a new thing when you leave the old, even when it doesn’t ‘feel’ right or feel like you. But that feeling is only temporary. Give it time.

·       Another thing that might be awkward for him is that he may not recognize someone or something just by what it looks like.

o   He’s going to have to introduce himself to people that he already knows in order to adjust himself.

o   He might have to study things that he’s accustomed to working with in order to recognize what they look like by sight alone.

o   He might see something for the first time that he has never even been aware of before and then learn what it does, for example, like the sun or clouds.

o   Just the same for us, sometimes, our transition, whatever it is, is going to require a lot more study time than what we’re accustomed to. Even when we think we have a pretty good idea.

o   I mean, can you just imagine how ‘hungry’ Bartimaeus would be to see everything now that his eyes are opened? –Or how exhausting that might be because everything he’s known will have this whole other layer that he now has to get to know.

-

-

Either way, Lottie and Bart both had instructions. He followed. She did not. He was healed. She was kept and even preserved in that place of destruction and un-fulfillment, forever.

So let’s recap what we see from Lottie and Bart

She had a dozen reasons that she could not have been looking forward. Any single one of them could leave us turning out like her with a permanent example of what not to do. But if you want to be like Bart, gaining sight, healing, or even a testimony of your own, then you’re going to have to do things like he did.

1.      You’re going to have to learn to sit and wait, (Study time and having an encounter with God or learning to be present).

2.      You’re going to have to let some other things go.

3.      Ask for the revelation or instruction.

4.      Take action (jump to feet).

5.      And follow…

If you want victory in your life, you’re going to have to be willing to ‘give up your life to gain it’ so to speak.

Yep, just like we’ve heard a thousand times….

Trusting all those verses that you’ve heard before. That the God who sees hearts and knows you at your core is the same God who came to save (not judge) and says that ALL of your sins are forgiven, and ALL of your wounds are healed-- You’re going to have to walk away from that moment and believe it. No matter how you think, or how you feel, or how the world around you is shifted in response.

-

-

-

If this post speaks to you and you feel like you’re stuck in an area, I encourage you to reach out to a Christian Counselor, and to others. Someone who can pray with you specifically in the areas that you need that can offer your personal guidance.

A testimony to top it off:

I do not consider myself to be a preacher or even have some ‘special calling’ in regards to sharing the Word. –The things that I write are sometimes reflections of my personal life, my prayer life, and my Bible Study, all rolled into one. They are my notes from my quiet time studying alone, and how I might apply them. (Kind of like Bartimaeus sitting and waiting to have that interaction with Jesus, even if it’s ‘only words on a page’, and what you imagine from that encounter and then research to back it up.)

But what you need to know is that I wrote 98% this post back in March of 2017 and just didn’t finish it. I even told a co-worker, that I felt like these two stories belonged together but that there was something that I was missing… I asked God to take me deeper but eventually, I put it aside and let it rest.

The end of 2017 came with a lot of blows that left me ‘forever changed’. In the beginning, the post made sense to me from previous victories. Yet, I was still blind to other areas that God was dealing with me in that season. Heck, I was blind to what I thought that I knew about myself…

It wasn’t until I started picking up pieces and working through them, that I realized that this post was guidance (prepared in advance) for me through that incredibly difficult ‘journey’.

I believe that he wants to do the same for you…

Deuteronomy 11:18 tells us to ‘lay up these words in your heart and in your soul.’

Psalms 139:5 tells us that the Lord hems us in – before and behind – like a stitch all the way around us. He knows where we’ve been and he’s already ahead of where we’re going.

You might decide to finally sit down with God and give him a try. In your efforts, you may even feel like he passed you by. You got nothing personal out of that time. I’d like to encourage you to do it again but here are a few things, I’d like you to remember ahead of time.

First, be like Bart – ask him to reveal it to you. You may not experience anything profound ‘immediately’ like Bartimaeus. But hold onto anything that sticks out or catches your attention. Maybe even make a note of it (like hiding it in your heart) or dig around the detail no matter how small it seems. You may be surprised when or where it surfaces again in the road up ahead.

And sometimes, again like Bartimaeus, you’re going to have to rely on other senses, like what you hear’ and in this case, just take my word for it.

I’ll be praying the words of Isaiah 30:21 over you: “Whether you go to the right or to the left, may you hear him behind you saying this is the way, go in it.”

Again, I can't help but find the irony that this post will be released at the beginning of a new year! I hope that it is a happy, profound, NEW one for you!