'Good' Judgment(s)

Yesterday, I took Sophie to a Volleyball Clinic over in Seaford. It’s something that she has been wanting to do for a while now. A friend told us about this class last week and in the days leading up to it, Sophie couldn’t stop talking about it. Yet as we walked into the building, several families walked in with older girls passing us by. Sophie began getting nervous.

As we grew closer to the gym you could hear the girls inside. Their voices were getting louder. Suddenly Sophie stopped and began to cry. She didn’t want to go in. I asked her what was wrong and she replied, “What if they are better than me?” “I’ve never done this before.” “They have all played and they are bigger.” “I will be terrible because I don’t know what to do.” Leaning close to her face, I started trying to console her and encourage her. After all, fear is normal right? Everyone feels that way from time to time. I kindly reminded her that some of the things that she just said were lies. She didn’t really know IF those girls were better or had played before. She didn’t really know if she would be bad. I know the words that came after were God inspired when I said, you’re making judgments about those ladies out there and against yourself. The Bible tells us that judging others is sin. (John 7:24) We EACH are made in his image….

Then I told her that I didn’t bring her all that way to let her talk herself out of it. She was going in! Praise God for the coaches that came right over to encourage her some more and peel her off of my skin.

I share these pictures because I am proud of my daughter. She overcame fear and played her little heart out. (With many girls who had never played before by the way.) She decided that she loves it and we’ll be signing her up soon!

But I also share this message because it’s not just 8-year-old girls that get weighed down by fear and let “the stories we tell ourselves” keep us from achieving something greater. It’s also awfully easy to gloss over thoughts that aren’t “bad thoughts” about others and forget that such deeds are often accompanied by comparison and self-doubt. Negative thoughts about self really are judgments too. You and I are holy, divinely created and full of the power needed for our tasks ahead. Every time you step out, you can learn something new—about yourself and our maker, who is with you!

Eph 4:29 says “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up...” Let me encourage you today to encourage others BUT TO ALSO encourage yourself in all you do. Giving it all you’ve got, as God intended, is what it means to give Him glory. My friend, YOU were made for more! <3

A Bedtime Story | D.C.

Note to the reader: I go out of town for conferences and training with my jobs. With younger children, I don't always call home. It sounds like a great idea and of course we all miss each other but the little ones always seemed more upset. Then Colin was stuck with angry children that were hard to settle down. So now, depending on what they're doing, I let Colin call me when or if it's good for them. Thankfully, they're getting older and so this isn't as much of an issue for us.

But to get around it, I came up with this idea instead. I LOVE to take pictures and I usually don't print the ones I take. Since I have a blog, I post pictures of things I see that think they'd like and they can use it like a bed time story when it's time for bed.  Then I get to save them!

It's really hard to do on short trips like this one. It's easier when you're alone on your trip. If you're with others, you might want to reserve this activity for trips that are 3 days or longer. (That way you can visit with them and work on this too.) This is also a great way to use up that layover time! Sophie told me that she likes this better than any of the loot that I bring home from the conferences. :)

If you don't have a blog, they are free and there are ways to make them 'less public'. If you don't want to try a blog, I would NOT recommend email. The pictures may jumble and the message may be too big. Try typing it up in a word doc, then making it a PDF and emailing it as an attachment. :D



****Now, to the Fam!

Hello Lovies!!

So here's the first day. Paula and I are finally off work. Of COURSE we had to take a picture. As it turns out it was "National Woman Road Warrior Day" so we had to make this picture fancier than normal. After all, we are women traveling on the road!

I couldn't get into Snapchat to see if there was any kind of warrior filter (like the puppy dog faces) and so I eventually gave up and searched for another ap. I found ArtEffect instead. Oh my goodness, I love it. We kind of look like warriors in this picture, don't we? It's the winner!

So then we drove for a while...

[A couple of hours later]

We're here! Here's a peek at my room!

There's also a little writing spot with a couch. 

That's where I'll be putting this together.

This hotel has a rooftop restaurant. -Super Cool!

Hey Look- it's the Washington Monument way over there!

I had fish tacos and Caprese salad! mmmm

The next day we walked to our conference.... [Digital Summit]

It turns out the Fire Dept is at the bottom of our hotel.

Here's a pretty cool playground that I thought you'd like.

Look Jaxie. I haven't seen any combine harvesters here but check out these cranes.

There is a lot of construction taking place around here.

Our conference is at the Arena Stage at the Meade Center. It's a crazy cool place.

They do a lot of shows here. I'd love to come back and see one.

The inside of the building is neat too!

Here's a hallway...

The Ceiling

This is where I sat for one of the sessions while we listened to a speaker.

That black row down the center is a bunch of large river rocks. No, I didn't get one to paint. :)

Sophie, this part is just for you. I know you'd want to do this when you saw the stage. 

So I did it for you since you weren't here!

We walked through town some more on the way to dinner.

Here is a beautiful old church.

Oh look, A TRAIN!! 

I couldn't tell if the train is permanently in this place or just parked 

but I had to grab a shot just for you!

-This one is farther away, so that you can see how high it is. Pretty cool, huh?

The Washington Monument

The Capitol Building

"The City"

This is just the sidewalk. I thought the trees looked really cool. So, I took a picture. 

They don't look as cool this way. 

oops- got a shot of my foot.
"I was here."

Here is a bunch of people getting a professional picture taken outside of the Trump Hotel. Yes, the guy who's running for President. I almost yelled "You're Fired" when we walked by... hoping to make them laugh but I decided to behave.

The City is a fun place to look around.

This picture isn't great but it shows details around the windows. Maybe you can zoom in.
I just love looking at the buildings.

Here's a revolving door.

It spins in a circle and people pop in and out of it to enter and exit the building.

And just for you Ethan, here's a picture of the White House. :)

Here's a bad picture of one of those double-decker tour buses that we used last time we came up.
(Note to other readers, night tours on the top of that thing are pretty cool way to see the monuments.)

Then we ate at a place right around the corner from the White House called "Old Ebbitt Grill".

The food was amazing! (Reader: put it on your list if you haven't been.)

And look boys- There's all kinds of dead animals on the walls!

Sophie, they even had these girlie chandeliers too!

I had hanger steak for dinner and It was so, so, SO good.

The meal-- well, the whole place kind of reminded me of Uncle Michael (well except the dead animal part). There is a lot of art on the walls and the ambiance (or way the room feels) just seemed like him... One of his favorite wines was on the menu, which they don't serve in Gloucester. Then I found a few orange tomatoes on my plate like he used to grow. He would always save a few for me. I don't always see things that make me think of him so much but he loved the city and art. I even thought I smelled his cologne earlier... It just felt like he was here. That made it extra special. Kind of like if you were here too!

This trip was shorter than some of the others. So, I won't have much more to show you.
Besides, I need to sign off and get home so I can squish you. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Remember that fun app that I used earlier, well look. I used it on a picture of you guys too!

This picture is the original.

Then here are only a few of the art effects in the ap! (Scroll down)

Cool, huh?! YES, we can install it on your ipods...

I'm sure that like this picture, you guys are all in my bed now too! So you give Daddy some extra kisses for that! Steal your snuggles while ya can, cuz this big ole' booty will be all up in that pile soon to --interrupt!

And finally, I saw this verse today: May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. - 2 Corinthians 13:14

Fellowship kind of means friendship and hanging out. Just like I was hanging out with Paula tonight while we were at dinner. It might even include how, if good ole' Uncle Michael really was hanging out with me on this trip... After all, you know, how much you like hanging out with your friends too, right? Think about why that is...? Is any of that different than when you and I hang out?

Anyway, we can mull over some of those similarities and differences after I am back home. So think about it and see if you have questions. :)

The good news is, just like you and I are family, we are also part of God's family and he loves you (us all) and wants to hang out with us too. I pray we all get a little closer together! Sweet dreams my loves. See you soon!

Let Your Hair Down

[Copied from a Facebook status]

One night when Ethan was about 3, I was in his bedroom putting away his clothes while Colin was getting him out of the tub [across the hall]. As Colin is drying him off, I hear Ethan say “Da- Daddy there’s—there’s sumtin in my butt crack!” –I lean back and tilt my head around the corner just in time to catch Ethan in some part thrust/part wag move with his hips. Colin turns him around to better assess the situation, only to remove what looks to be an invisible thread. –and.then.he.replies “You had a mama hair in your butt crack.” 😳

Followed by--even better-- “Don’t worry, I get mama hairs in my butt crack too!” 😳😬

-And I thought that only happened to me…

***

The lesson for the day is: In this lifetime, you will touch people in places and in ways that you could never expect. Embrace it. Get personal and be you! Oh and don’t forget to let your hair down. It changes everything.

#LongHairStruggles #LongHairDontCare #ShortHairDontKnow #MakeItCount #SurpriseItsMe #SharingIsCaring #YoureWelcome 

Reply to a Post | Preachers

So last week a friend left this picture and comment (above pic) on my Facebook page. My immediate reaction was "I can't believe someone tagged me in a post tearing down someone else."  Those conversations often get heated and I'm a pretty sensitive person. Even if replies to it weren't to or at me, I would be grieved about it for days if they got ugly. I prayed really quick for something to put an end to the thread and replied with the following:

"Lord boy, I can hear you on the other side of the screen... I’m going to pinch you for it too the next time I see you. ;) I miss ya. I can’t really defend or protect either of them though since I don’t know them personally but even if I could those conversations don’t usually go well. So I won't go there... What I DO love about this image though [friends name] is that it brings up a GREAT point – NONE OF US, not them, not you or I or anyone else reading this post should tie up our money in things, material possessions, or bank accounts when someone else is in need. It is the same as (IF) you and I spend all of our money on new clothes, the latest cell phone upgrade, the biggest cable package or the next dinner out when we don’t ‘need’ any of those things and yet not having enough money to help pay a hospital bill for a friend or contribute a little extra to the next food drive. Yet we say “It’s a shame” and “wish we could do more”. (Matthew 6:19-21, James 2:14-17) It’s definitely an area that I have been convicted of and I need all the reminders that I can get. So thanks for the great thought provoker this am! xoxo"

Imagine my relief when I checked back later that day and there was nothing. Whew!! Thank God!

***

While I think that was a pretty terrific answer,  it was only a reply to the comic and not to my friend's comment. ...and it leaves some things unsaid about me and my God. After all, that is why follow Preachers in the first place, right? -- To get closer to him.

First, I have been terrified of being challenged in my faith. "What if...." I am a deep thinker, as in it takes me days to reply and sometimes I use the wrong words. **gasp** But also I sometimes come across as defensive and I am not sure in this scenario how to defend without being that way or how to reply in love without drowning out my point. hmmm -That was almost too much to think about in itself. ...Hence why I didn't want to be challenged. 

But what you don't know about my friend or me, is that I did actually listen to Joyce Meyer for a long time. My friend and I used to go back and forth a little. He listened to a guy named Gino Jennings. We used to tease each other about the insanity of the other's selections and well, he's pretty good at giving a good ribbing. Hence, why I wanted to pinch him...  Call it brotherly/sisterly love... **wink wink**

You can do your research on both of those Pastors and the other one mentioned in the picture, Joel Olsteen. I only listened to a few of his messages. His style wasn't my personal flavor and so I've never really got into him. As for Joyce, I actually credit a lot of years "in the church" to her. In fact, for most of my twenties, when I couldn't stomach the people in the church, she brought me the Word in the comfort of my own living room every morning. I listened to Joyce ...a lot.

In a nutshell, here's why I like her: She's pretty down to earth. She does use a lot of scripture and I don't think she sugar coats things. She talks about her hard times (sexual abuse, divorce, poverty and being a hot mess) and many of her messages are ones that the Lord used to correct her. [Also, I've gone to see her and she doesn't charge a ticket price like many other traveling televangelists do. Her sermons are free. Although you're welcome to make a donation and even purchase other materials from her ministry, if you'd like to.]

But the truth is having "faith" has been a huge challenge for me. I needed to hear somebody with real problems climbing the way there. It ain't easy for most of us! Sadly, not as many people in the church talk about their struggles and it left me feeling like something was wrong with me or that "faith was only for the good kids".

The really irony is that the devil uses fear and isolation very well. See how it works on both sides??? It keeps one in the confines of their home and the other quiet in the church. I've been both places, I know. It also keeps me from wanting to be challenged...

But I don't listen to Joyce as much these days and here's why-

A few years ago someone in the church shared a post on facebook calling out the very same two preachers. And do you know what? I was offended. Not necessarily because of my relationship to the parties named either. This time, the post wasn't tagging me or calling me out. I was offended at the tone of the article. It sounded angry and judgemental. It was written by another Pastor. Aren't believers supposed to be "full of love" and out to save, not to condemn? While I agreed with some of the points (and yikes to those points), something kept twisting under my skin. After much prayer, I realized that I was too dependent on another human being to bring me God. Now, let me back up to clarify.

Do not misinterpret what I am getting ready to say as an excuse to not need the church or Pastors or anything like that. In fact, one of my favorite passages of scripture is found in Acts called "Philip and the Ethiopian" (Such a catchy title, right? haha) Anyway, Philip catches the Ethiopian reading from Isaiah and asks him if he understands what he's reading. The Ethiopian replies "Unless someone explains it to me, how can I?" Holy smokes, even people in the Bible needed help understanding that thing!! **whew** They aren't alone. You and I both need help understanding the passages in the Bible as well. It takes preachers, people in the church, friends, and articles that challenge us to figure it out and bring light to it.

BUT this is where I was convicted - (and this is important, so pay attention) When I wanted "A Word from God", I turned on Joyce Meyer not to opening my Bible. BAM!

Now let that settle.

That offense was one of the greatest things that happened to my faith. Do you know why?  Because I have also been a person that suffered from "Approval Addiction". I didn't want everyone to tell me how awesome or good I was. I wanted to have the right answers and do the right thing and I wanted everyone else to approve of them as if my own judgment wasn't good enough. If I needed to make a decision, I had to get other people's 2 cents before I could decide. I often wanted them to make the decision for me because I didn't want to be wrong. I decided from that point on that I wouldn't listen to more than a handful of messages from the same preacher consecutively, aside from my preacher at church. I also forced myself to not ask for advice for a year. If I wanted an answer to something, I had to get it for myself from the Bible. (There is some danger in never asking anyone but if you need to grow here, set a limit and commit. I knew I'd need at least a year. After that there was no turning back.)

and...that...was...so...hard... at first.

But do you know what happened? I realized that the Lord still speaks through scripture. Many of the answers that I came to through the Bible, brought me peace. I realized that when I really wanted to know GOD, I just had to look for Him. Not one of his messengers. When I tell you it was Life changing, I mean it.  -But isn't that what He promises?  -A changed life, through him? Here's some scripture to back it up!

 1. I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live [not asking anyone else certainly crucified me], but Christ lives in me [as I take his Word to heart]. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. - Galatians 2:20

 2. Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. [not through preachers, parents, and friends] - John 14:6

3. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! - 2 Corinthians 5:17

But there's something else that I want to point out 

On this Earth and in that Bible there is ONLY ONE PERFECT MAN and that was Jesus Christ. -And no matter how much good we do, or how much we believe or how much we preach, we are ALL BORN INTO SIN and are still sinners- (here's a selection of verses to back that up.) So if that is true, than any human we "follow" is going to get it wrong at some point. Even when they believe their right and even when they don't mean to and even when they have points to back it up.  So, if you and I don't crack That Book open and know for ourselves, how would we know when someone else got it wrong?

We should "follow" no (hu)man. -And according to that second verse, I shared, humans won't get us to heaven, no matter how much we believe in them.  So my friend was correct in "being had".  -I just believe it's more based on our motives and what we're looking for; and that it's a little broader than those two people. (As in anyone that can get a message through.) -Which is also why he tells us to remove our own planks... You and I are probably a heretic at some point too even despite our relationships, beliefs, and efforts.

So what happens if you followed a preacher?  Well, the Good news is I believe that when you are genuinely seeking God, he will use anything in your life that you are willing to give him. -And when you're ready to go to a new level, he'll find a way that gets your attention to kick it up a notch, like that article from my friend or even this post. -Don't you dare condemn yourself when he does it either?  -Gosh, Praise Him for helping you go deeper. I believe that whatever got you to that junction was what it was supposed to be for you. So don't look back. Instead what I'd recommend is this:

1. This might sound a little ritualistic but some people get stuck condemning themselves. I know, I've been one of them. If this is you, confessing it to another believer (that you feel safe with) will actually make you feel a lot better and we can pray with and for you (see James 5:16). You can message me if you don't know anyone else.

2. Then switch up your "messengers". Oneplace.com is a great site loaded with sermons from various pulpits. There are also a few churches here in town that I can recommend too. Providence Baptist, Susanna Wesley and Bridgepoint just for starters. (And if you're overwhelmed with which church is the right one, read what Jesus told the Samaritan Woman).

3. Then grab your Bible and commit to the same challenge. If you need a Bible, this is a great one. If you can't pay for one, there is no shame in that. Ask your church or a local church for one, or message me. I have one for you.

Finally, at the end of all of this, I am actually pretty thankful for my friend's post. Colin and I also recently had a conversation where I didn't have to defend what I personally believed but we were debating something about faith. At first, I was a little intimidated by that too, but after it was all said and done, I learned something about both of us and I felt stronger because of it.  In both cases, I was proud of the fact that I had an answer that was right for me, so why wouldn't I want to share it?

Since I am sharing this link with my friend, I'd like to say thanks! This has been a really good exercise for me. It brings back a lot of memories from our younger days. You should come to my house for dinner and we'll debate some more. Colin and I love you. <3