Reply to a Post | Preachers

So last week a friend left this picture and comment (above pic) on my Facebook page. My immediate reaction was "I can't believe someone tagged me in a post tearing down someone else."  Those conversations often get heated and I'm a pretty sensitive person. Even if replies to it weren't to or at me, I would be grieved about it for days if they got ugly. I prayed really quick for something to put an end to the thread and replied with the following:

"Lord boy, I can hear you on the other side of the screen... I’m going to pinch you for it too the next time I see you. ;) I miss ya. I can’t really defend or protect either of them though since I don’t know them personally but even if I could those conversations don’t usually go well. So I won't go there... What I DO love about this image though [friends name] is that it brings up a GREAT point – NONE OF US, not them, not you or I or anyone else reading this post should tie up our money in things, material possessions, or bank accounts when someone else is in need. It is the same as (IF) you and I spend all of our money on new clothes, the latest cell phone upgrade, the biggest cable package or the next dinner out when we don’t ‘need’ any of those things and yet not having enough money to help pay a hospital bill for a friend or contribute a little extra to the next food drive. Yet we say “It’s a shame” and “wish we could do more”. (Matthew 6:19-21, James 2:14-17) It’s definitely an area that I have been convicted of and I need all the reminders that I can get. So thanks for the great thought provoker this am! xoxo"

Imagine my relief when I checked back later that day and there was nothing. Whew!! Thank God!

***

While I think that was a pretty terrific answer,  it was only a reply to the comic and not to my friend's comment. ...and it leaves some things unsaid about me and my God. After all, that is why follow Preachers in the first place, right? -- To get closer to him.

First, I have been terrified of being challenged in my faith. "What if...." I am a deep thinker, as in it takes me days to reply and sometimes I use the wrong words. **gasp** But also I sometimes come across as defensive and I am not sure in this scenario how to defend without being that way or how to reply in love without drowning out my point. hmmm -That was almost too much to think about in itself. ...Hence why I didn't want to be challenged. 

But what you don't know about my friend or me, is that I did actually listen to Joyce Meyer for a long time. My friend and I used to go back and forth a little. He listened to a guy named Gino Jennings. We used to tease each other about the insanity of the other's selections and well, he's pretty good at giving a good ribbing. Hence, why I wanted to pinch him...  Call it brotherly/sisterly love... **wink wink**

You can do your research on both of those Pastors and the other one mentioned in the picture, Joel Olsteen. I only listened to a few of his messages. His style wasn't my personal flavor and so I've never really got into him. As for Joyce, I actually credit a lot of years "in the church" to her. In fact, for most of my twenties, when I couldn't stomach the people in the church, she brought me the Word in the comfort of my own living room every morning. I listened to Joyce ...a lot.

In a nutshell, here's why I like her: She's pretty down to earth. She does use a lot of scripture and I don't think she sugar coats things. She talks about her hard times (sexual abuse, divorce, poverty and being a hot mess) and many of her messages are ones that the Lord used to correct her. [Also, I've gone to see her and she doesn't charge a ticket price like many other traveling televangelists do. Her sermons are free. Although you're welcome to make a donation and even purchase other materials from her ministry, if you'd like to.]

But the truth is having "faith" has been a huge challenge for me. I needed to hear somebody with real problems climbing the way there. It ain't easy for most of us! Sadly, not as many people in the church talk about their struggles and it left me feeling like something was wrong with me or that "faith was only for the good kids".

The really irony is that the devil uses fear and isolation very well. See how it works on both sides??? It keeps one in the confines of their home and the other quiet in the church. I've been both places, I know. It also keeps me from wanting to be challenged...

But I don't listen to Joyce as much these days and here's why-

A few years ago someone in the church shared a post on facebook calling out the very same two preachers. And do you know what? I was offended. Not necessarily because of my relationship to the parties named either. This time, the post wasn't tagging me or calling me out. I was offended at the tone of the article. It sounded angry and judgemental. It was written by another Pastor. Aren't believers supposed to be "full of love" and out to save, not to condemn? While I agreed with some of the points (and yikes to those points), something kept twisting under my skin. After much prayer, I realized that I was too dependent on another human being to bring me God. Now, let me back up to clarify.

Do not misinterpret what I am getting ready to say as an excuse to not need the church or Pastors or anything like that. In fact, one of my favorite passages of scripture is found in Acts called "Philip and the Ethiopian" (Such a catchy title, right? haha) Anyway, Philip catches the Ethiopian reading from Isaiah and asks him if he understands what he's reading. The Ethiopian replies "Unless someone explains it to me, how can I?" Holy smokes, even people in the Bible needed help understanding that thing!! **whew** They aren't alone. You and I both need help understanding the passages in the Bible as well. It takes preachers, people in the church, friends, and articles that challenge us to figure it out and bring light to it.

BUT this is where I was convicted - (and this is important, so pay attention) When I wanted "A Word from God", I turned on Joyce Meyer not to opening my Bible. BAM!

Now let that settle.

That offense was one of the greatest things that happened to my faith. Do you know why?  Because I have also been a person that suffered from "Approval Addiction". I didn't want everyone to tell me how awesome or good I was. I wanted to have the right answers and do the right thing and I wanted everyone else to approve of them as if my own judgment wasn't good enough. If I needed to make a decision, I had to get other people's 2 cents before I could decide. I often wanted them to make the decision for me because I didn't want to be wrong. I decided from that point on that I wouldn't listen to more than a handful of messages from the same preacher consecutively, aside from my preacher at church. I also forced myself to not ask for advice for a year. If I wanted an answer to something, I had to get it for myself from the Bible. (There is some danger in never asking anyone but if you need to grow here, set a limit and commit. I knew I'd need at least a year. After that there was no turning back.)

and...that...was...so...hard... at first.

But do you know what happened? I realized that the Lord still speaks through scripture. Many of the answers that I came to through the Bible, brought me peace. I realized that when I really wanted to know GOD, I just had to look for Him. Not one of his messengers. When I tell you it was Life changing, I mean it.  -But isn't that what He promises?  -A changed life, through him? Here's some scripture to back it up!

 1. I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live [not asking anyone else certainly crucified me], but Christ lives in me [as I take his Word to heart]. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. - Galatians 2:20

 2. Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. [not through preachers, parents, and friends] - John 14:6

3. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! - 2 Corinthians 5:17

But there's something else that I want to point out 

On this Earth and in that Bible there is ONLY ONE PERFECT MAN and that was Jesus Christ. -And no matter how much good we do, or how much we believe or how much we preach, we are ALL BORN INTO SIN and are still sinners- (here's a selection of verses to back that up.) So if that is true, than any human we "follow" is going to get it wrong at some point. Even when they believe their right and even when they don't mean to and even when they have points to back it up.  So, if you and I don't crack That Book open and know for ourselves, how would we know when someone else got it wrong?

We should "follow" no (hu)man. -And according to that second verse, I shared, humans won't get us to heaven, no matter how much we believe in them.  So my friend was correct in "being had".  -I just believe it's more based on our motives and what we're looking for; and that it's a little broader than those two people. (As in anyone that can get a message through.) -Which is also why he tells us to remove our own planks... You and I are probably a heretic at some point too even despite our relationships, beliefs, and efforts.

So what happens if you followed a preacher?  Well, the Good news is I believe that when you are genuinely seeking God, he will use anything in your life that you are willing to give him. -And when you're ready to go to a new level, he'll find a way that gets your attention to kick it up a notch, like that article from my friend or even this post. -Don't you dare condemn yourself when he does it either?  -Gosh, Praise Him for helping you go deeper. I believe that whatever got you to that junction was what it was supposed to be for you. So don't look back. Instead what I'd recommend is this:

1. This might sound a little ritualistic but some people get stuck condemning themselves. I know, I've been one of them. If this is you, confessing it to another believer (that you feel safe with) will actually make you feel a lot better and we can pray with and for you (see James 5:16). You can message me if you don't know anyone else.

2. Then switch up your "messengers". Oneplace.com is a great site loaded with sermons from various pulpits. There are also a few churches here in town that I can recommend too. Providence Baptist, Susanna Wesley and Bridgepoint just for starters. (And if you're overwhelmed with which church is the right one, read what Jesus told the Samaritan Woman).

3. Then grab your Bible and commit to the same challenge. If you need a Bible, this is a great one. If you can't pay for one, there is no shame in that. Ask your church or a local church for one, or message me. I have one for you.

Finally, at the end of all of this, I am actually pretty thankful for my friend's post. Colin and I also recently had a conversation where I didn't have to defend what I personally believed but we were debating something about faith. At first, I was a little intimidated by that too, but after it was all said and done, I learned something about both of us and I felt stronger because of it.  In both cases, I was proud of the fact that I had an answer that was right for me, so why wouldn't I want to share it?

Since I am sharing this link with my friend, I'd like to say thanks! This has been a really good exercise for me. It brings back a lot of memories from our younger days. You should come to my house for dinner and we'll debate some more. Colin and I love you. <3

Making the Leap | Jonah Part 6

Photo by Crimson1d on Deviant Art

When Sophie was about 3 my mother in law got a swimming pool. My own mother had one as well but this new one was now practically in my backyard since our houses are close together. I was adamant the kids had to take swimming lessons for obvious reasons. I found a local class and signed the kids up.

Ethan had been in classes before and was excited about going back. Sophie on the other hand, wanted no parts of water.  She’s always been kind of timid and you could tell that she knew the body of water was bigger than she was.

In this particular pool, there was a little ledge on the inside so children could step down into it then either stand or sit in about 3” water while listening to the instructor. I can’t remember the duration of the classes. I think it was 30 minutes every day for 2 weeks. Sophie never got into the classes at all. While the teacher would talk, Sophie would turn away and face me (along with the other parents) and cry. Repeating “mama” over and over.

Sometimes having the parent present makes it harder on children. So, I tried to sit far away and avert eye contact. If I accidentally made it, I would gesture with my finger in a circle, to turn her toward her teacher and then I would look away. She never stopped crying and often never turned back around to face her. It was positively one of the hardest things that I ever had to do.

The mama voices rang in my head “go rescue her” and at the same time “don’t give in, this is an important life lesson”. So I stuck it out. She NEVER got into the class. 

In fact, it took the rest of that summer for her to tolerate even being carried through the water. We had to start over the following summer; introducing her to the water again. Although, I didn’t do it with classes that time and thankfully by the end of that second summer, she grew to love it.

***

I’ve been writing a little about Jonah lately and I can’t help but see a similar scene from Chapter 1. When the men on the boat realize who’s having the issue, Jonah says in verse 12, “pick me up and throw me into the sea.” Whether or not going overboard is the right answer, Jonah acknowledges that he needs to get ‘right’ with the Lord but

he can’t even bring himself to do it. Someone else has to play a part in getting him to the resolution. -And should we gloss over the fact that it’s an unbeliever or two? I love that! Also, note that everyone in the picture gets restored. Jonah returns to the Lord and everyone else is awakened. (v16)

Anyway, you know what comes next, right? One of those passages that brings the record to a screeching halt-

…a whale did what?

Before I get into that, think about this for a second.

Psalm 139:7 says “Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?”

If the Lord’s presence on Jonah was so intense that he got on a boat and tried to flee and even went to the bottom of the boat without escape; could you imagine what it must feel like inside the whale? Better or worse? What do YOU think are the similarities or contrasts?

While he was on the path of correction in this scene, there were no people to argue with or good scenery to distract him. There was nothing but the Lord to consume him in that place. –Wow, is all that I can say.

Now, I’m going to take you on a detour.

***

All of these Jonah posts have circled around my transition in a job. Wrestling with the promotion until I took it. Then wrestling my way through it. What’s crazy was that there wasn’t any part of the job that was so terrible and I didn’t think that I couldn’t do it. I have no doubt that I would have done [and did do] things well.

It wasn’t about management or even defining the role. Nearly every job I have ever had was either one that I defined or led to a management opportunity. –But there was a restlessness that I could not get away from. No matter how much I prayed or how hard I worked. There was no victory that assuaged the struggle. 

Eventually, I would get to my own ledge and finally tell God that IF all of this twisting was the wrong direction, I’d let go and he could have it. I sat in my bed with my Bible and repented in case I was wrong and I asked God to change my heart if it was not what he wanted. Especially, since I was so certain that he brought me there. I didn’t want to be out of his presence.

In that instant, a friend from Helping Hands camp replied to a text that I’d sent 2 weeks before asking her what verse we were using in the devotions.  Her reply, “Joshua 1:9”.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

The irony struck me…

Later on, when camp actually rolled around, I had a conversation with a friend that led me to turn in my notice (I wrote about that earlier). After I began conversations with HR. I spoke to two other departments about possible openings; just trying to feel out what this might look like. I started updating my resume and began looking at classifieds.

While I pray every day; eventually, there was another significant moment in a prayer for direction. Am I supposed to stay at the bank but just be open to other opportunities?

Imagine my surprise when I get back to work and a coworker and friend whom I didn’t know too well before this says “While I was on vacation, I saw this and just felt like I had to get it for you.”

Only to open a box revealing a star-shaped plaque with the words “Don’t quit” across the top.  

Hmmm. The irony again…

So, I prayed and fasted some more. I practiced taking a break from “me and my ways”. I studied “Discovering God’s Will” and continued “collecting information” and considering opportunities.

But I was tired. Too drained to fully absorb what I was reading in my Bible or to talk and really connect with my family. –And just to be clear, I wasn’t working overtime. The Bank really doesn’t support that and I had been really good about watching how I spent my time. I simply felt consumed by something else instead.

So, I told God I wanted to be able to enjoy him and my family, and ministry and whatever that looked like… I wanted energy again and I wanted those things to be in a place where they got the better parts of me, not just the left overs. It seemed the minute that I said that the marketing opportunity came available.

Not long after that prayer, I was in the branch working on an issue and the Director showed me the job description. I didn’t really think too much of it at first. It didn’t strike me as a fit. But when I got back to my desk, there was another message from a co-worker that needed to talk to me. When I sat down at her desk, she slipped me the same piece of paper. I thought to myself “Okay God, this is weird.” and “If this is what you want for me, don’t let me miss it. Open my eyes.” Later in the week, one more friend called to make sure that I knew about it.

I realize that this might sound like I’m only looking for signs. But I’ve been there done that. When I was looking for signs, I wanted a quick fix, not a relationship and I probably didn’t want to invest a whole lot into reading or praying either.

While it may not always be so blatantly, I believe that the good Lord speaks to us in many ways. Through scripture primarily [like the book of Jonah speaks to me] but also in prayer and through confirmation of others and through restlessness [or affliction] and sometimes even “signs”. –But more importantly, when you’re sincerely and earnestly seeking God, you can begin to see his hand in many things.

-And I do want to point out [and not to fluff myself up but to show the difference in the way we tally answers] that in this junction, I don’t think I have ever prayed so hard and so long in all of my life. I was fasting and going to counseling, doing a study on His will. I wasn’t asking God for any sign like a fleece or a burning bush. I wanted to know HIS will for me. The “signs’ in this case seemed to come from all around me. Everything in me was on him and each “sign” seemed to be lining up with what I was already gathering on my own.

So, I continued through the process and interviewed. Irony struck again  when I remembered that I was originally accepted to VCU for Mass Communications. While I never went to school, here I was 20 years later, likely entering into a position into the same field anyway.

I asked the Director for some activities to get a better picture of what this position would look like. Completing them became part of the interview process as well. Having the ‘real paper in hand’ mystified me in another way altogether.

Years earlier I had started trying to schedule play dates with other moms around free things to do in our area, which involved researching different resources and coordinating with others. I also tried to get involved with the Gloucester Resource Council, which is a deeper network of resources for the community. Yet, I couldn’t seem to get connected no matter how I tried to make it work. I even updated some Facebook pages for our church that required keeping a light calendar of future posts. (Just pointing to experience). -Not to mention that I have this blog and have been considering other ways to write.

After several people asked me to consider the play date thing again; I sat on my couch one-night last summer and tried to plan it out. I kept finding cool things worth sharing-

Anyway, have you ever just asked something out loud? -Kind of rhetorical question or just humoring yourself? Well, that night I did just that! “God, why can’t I have a job where I just do this all day.” –At the time, I didn’t see it as a prayer. I didn’t even really think about the words, it just bubbled out. But it felt like a place that I could be really passionate about if I could just figure out how to work it.

What you might not know is that Chesapeake Bank is incredibly involved in their communities. It’s one of the things that I love about them. In this new position (working with social media) there was a need for some more “connections” in the Gloucester area. The person also needed to work closely with I.T. (and that’s where I already was). In this position, I could also learn a lot about better ways to communicate those things (connections & resources).

When given the assignment to come up with a calendar of events, I noticed the similarities to things I did in my personal time. I remembered that prayer from earlier on my couch and simultaneously the verse “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.” –Psalm 37:4

**Poof**

I might as well fall over.

Not only was he catching me when I let go, he was B-L-O-W-I-N-G my mind.

Kind of like Jonah jumping into the mouth of a whale I suppose….

*

*

           

            *

                    

                    

                  

*

  

*

[Let that settle]

*

                  *   

       *

   *

   *
       

A whale…

You don’t have to be a bible scholar or a scientist to know that whales are found deep in the ocean.

And

In my last post, we already looked at the fact that water represents God.

And

I don’t know what kind of storm you're facing or if you’re even facing one at all…

You might not need a whale or a job to prove anything. Your biggest test of faith might even be just staying where you are until this season passes. But the Lord wants to reveal something [that we can’t possibly anticipate] to each of us so that we can trust HIM on another level. –For many of us, the only way to see “that big” is to “get that deep” in the Lord. [1Cor 2:10]

That might not have been Jonah’s plan when he first decided to run from the Lord.  But in Jonah 2:2 says “In my distress, I called to the Lord and he answered me.”

Jonah continues “From DEEP in the realm of the dead I called for help and you listened to my cry.” So maybe your deep was in self, in the bottom of a boat or in some other kind of struggle not even looking for him. But Psalm 139:8 says “If I make my bed in the depths, you are there.” So, if you invite God into your depths; into those most secret pains and struggles and he can come right in and use it just as surprisingly. It’s almost like he just comes in and swirls things around so that your deep becomes his…

Doesn’t Psalm 34:18 say “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

Romans 8:28 say “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

And Isaiah 41:10 says ‘Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’

So why are we so surprised when he does it?

***

Faith is hard, isn’t it?

It’s hard in different ways and at different times for each of us. It’s hard getting started in church. It’s hard to act in the present, in response to something in the future. It’s hard waiting on the Lord. You might have had to wait a month for these posts but it took months to years for some of these pieces to make sense to me. There’s a good chance you’ve been waiting even longer for some of your own pieces to come together.

…and you’re still waiting.

It’s also hard learning how to share your testimony or to pray out loud and boy sometimes it’s hard reading your bible, isn’t it? I will be the first to admit that not only did the verse about the whale stop me but I have had a really hard time with understanding how a man dying on the cross saves me from anything. –I don’t mean that disrespectful, prideful or however that comes out in text. My mind just can’t compute it.

Doesn’t our nature beg us to wait until something makes sense before proceeding? Whether it’s in transitions like jobs or houses, calls to ministry or having a baby or even in the steps of faith and moving forward. Real faith brings us to new ledges all the time. Sometimes the ones outside of church are the hardest to leap from. I guess that’s why Henry Blackaby calls it a Crisis of Belief.

It’s no wonder that it is said that some variation of “fear not” and “do not be afraid” is shown more than any other command in the Bible.  

But did you know this-

Jesus himself referred to Jonah in Matt 12:40 “For as Jonah was three days and three nights in the belly of a huge fish, so the Son of Man will be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth.“

In his book “Surprised By Grace”, Pastor Tullian Tchividjian refers to the book of Jonah as a storied presentation of the Gospel. You can find many lists and commentaries from others that also compare the similarities between the two. (This is a cool one.) Not just for the reference to 3 days being hidden away. They were both “messengers” and called to face a people and persecution.

You know what gets me the most about both of those; is the transformation that happens while you are hidden away with God alone. Jesus was resurrected. Jonah was suddenly strong enough to hit the ground running. Although, this time, it wasn’t away from the Lord. He did exactly as the Lord instructed.

NEVER underestimate your time alone with the Lord in prayer!

My favorite part is that Jonah gets a second chance to do what he was called to do and isn’t that why Christ died on the Cross in the first place; to give us second chances? Don’t get stuck on the word “second” as if you need to correct or redo. It’s not always about that! A good synonym for second is next. – You might even call it “new”.  

You may never understand what the heck a boat, a storm, and a whale have to do with anything. You may never understand how a man dying on a cross changes everything. I still don’t understand it. But I can assure that if you can take your hands off the deck of your life and be bold enough to make the plunge [however & where ever He’s leading you], there is a grace as certain as the sea and as surprising as a whale that will blow your mind.

***

Even when I look back at the image of Sophie standing on the edge of the pool; it’s hard for me not to see the similarities in our positions and the instructions that we both got from above. Just as I wanted her to be safe, I knew ultimately that it would bring her joy. And THAT is what the Lord promises to each of us, my friend.

If you don't know that you've gotten your answer, wait right where you are until you get it. You're where you're supposed to be. Ask God what you can learn right in this season and ask him to show you someone that you can help along the way. On the other hand, if he's leading you to jump, you can do it. Don't delay!

I noticed after posting this that her bathing suit was covered in peace signs. It's worth pointing out that I too am pretty peaceful these days. The same God that brings the storm can also still it. Seek his hand and follow where He leads. :)

Blessings to you!

Found on Deviant Art by Crimson1d, then modified

All post in this series |Beginning | Previous

Turning From Vanity

Turn away my eyes from looking at vanity, and revive me in Your ways. -Psalm119-37 NASB

I heard this verse in a song by Sherri Youngward yesterday. It’s a song I’ve heard a number of times but the words of this one line struck me.  “Turn my eyes from looking at vanity”…

There are 2 things that came out and I want to write them out in order to share with you but also so that I remember.

In a bloggers world as I have tried to figure out my [writers] voice, something has always felt right and something has always felt off.

I believe that the ‘off’ part is because, even though I try to be transparent, I know there’s too much of me in some of the lines. – What does balance between those two angles look like? 

I think I've got part of my answer...

In that verse, there was a click for me, as to where some of that self-focus came from…. A story perhaps for another day… but it satisfied something.

The part that is right about blogging, is that instead of a blog, it's more about processing His Word for my life. Philippians 3:14-16 assures us each that when we step out to pursue him, He will right our paths, in His time. –When He knows we’ve matured enough to get to the next junction. -When we can handle the next nugget.

This idea swam nicely with another realization that’s been floating lately in the air.  About how some of this self-reflection – is turning in, instead of out.  Looking directly at self, instead of focusing on Him.

Does Proverbs 3:5-6 not say:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.

It is the same when we don’t write at all, but instead speak in and about our lives, for example: When we focus on people pleasing and apologize for every little thing that we do, be it right or wrong, because we worry about what others expect us to be.  –Worried about our image. Worried about what [or who] we are. Worried about what others might be thinking…. about us...  constantly looking at our image.

Our good Lord already tells us that we ARE made in HIS image. We ARE Formed and Fashioned by Him, just like rubies and sunshine and life.

Do not be afraid, just believe [that] truth and move forward.

Then you are free to look at what you might have to offer others and free to see and embrace what others may have to offer and teach you.

If I applied this new answer here [on a blog], I might not try to analyze or be so fixated with WHY I did, or was, or came to be, but instead HOW I might move forward and be free to glorify.

What a wonderful nugget and prayer for the day: Lord Turn our eyes from vanity and revive us in your ways.

I hope that this blesses you as much as it did me. :)

Photo Credit: http://taigamemienphimoinhat.com/ngut-mat-voi-nhung-hinh-nen-thien-nhien-dep-me-long-nguoi-xem-h133.html