Guided by the Spirit

Last week I went on a field trip with my daughter. She had been looking forward to this particular Clifford exhibit for months. The suspense for her was building as we walked inside and then stood in line to take off coats and wait for the restroom. "Can we go see Clifford now?" "Can we go see Clifford now?" 

Once we finally passed through the gate she took off running. I was yelling for her to stop but she had no awareness of anything except her desire to see Clifford.  Although she was running forward, she wasn't looking the same direction. Her head was to the left, to the right, up in the air, yelling "Clifford" and shrieking wildly. -Never once actually seeing anything, not even the people that had to step aside so that she didn't run into them. I was finally able to get her to slow down, just as she was coming up on another exhibit. She didn't stop. She just became aware of a near collision and that the path was changing. Fortunately for everyone when she rounded the corner, the big red dog was there waiting. Everyone was now safe.

As the day unfolded God used that example as a way to speak to my own heart about my own approach to things. I am eager to serve. I am eager to do. But even though I am moving forward how many other places am I looking instead of where I am going? Proverbs 16:9- says "The mind of man plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps."  -If only we keep that ear tuned for all of the instructions.

Then several of my own recent commitments were brought to mind. Some were things that I prematurely committed to without waiting to see if it was his plan for me. How many times do I wait for the full set of instructions? I hear what I want. I get the gist and just start moving. Usually, I am trying to multitask the entire way to the finish line. Then I get agitated because too many things are happening and I find it hard to focus.

Galatians 5:13 says "For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another." I am free to do, but do I use that freedom to serve only myself and meet my own needs? Am I so consumed with my own agenda that I am barreling over others, without notice? Or am I truly serving my first purpose, to love, and then stopping to help or encourage someone else along the way? -No matter how busy or hurried I am.

The commentary in my bible from Galatians 5:16-18 says that being led by the Holy Spirit involves the desire to hear, the readiness to obey God’s word and the sensitivity to discern between my feelings and his promptings. Live each day controlled and guided by the Holy Spirit. Then the words of Christ will be in my mind, the love of Christ will be behind my actions and the power of Christ will help me control my selfish desires.

It also says that faith is expressed through love. Well, that pretty much puts it in perspective for me now doesn’t it? If I only seek his full directions first; I won’t find fulfilling them such a burden. Perhaps my own response is a good gauge for whether or not I am still on the original plan. If I find myself too busy or too agitated then that should be my indication that I have gotten off track. I should quickly stop and turn back for correction; making sure that my motivation is more about obeying than doing.

Walking the fence

My father and I do not get to see each other often. We try to talk regularly but via phone, is never as good as being together.  When we are together, we start all over catching up. We repeat summaries of everything that’s happened since our last visit. We pretend that we're joke tellers and philosophers. We interpret songs and try to unearth the meaning of life. Before we know it, it's the wee hours of the morning and we're discussing faith. Not just faith but almost always, the very subject of "walking the fence".

Sometimes our discussions are about a specific habit, hobby or attitude that might go against something that we say that we believe. Other times it's more general. -Perhaps an overall discussion about how one of us might not be ready to begin or pursue the next step with God because something in our life is either holding us back or might seem out of sync.  -We don't want to appear to be 'on the fence'.  After all, we're either for him or against him, right?

Here lately that subject has weighed heavily on my heart. What a huge misinterpretation that really is. I mean, are we ever good "enough" to come to God? If we had to wait to reach a certain place or level before coming to him, wouldn't that go against the very thing that Christ says he died to give us?  Romans 3:23 says that "we ALL fall short of the glory of God". Verse 24 says that "we are ONLY justified by his grace". Accepting him only takes a moment of faith but –becoming- like Christ is a LIFE LONG process.

Really, our entire relationship with God IS like walking on a fence, isn’t it? Sometimes we lean a little to the left and fall off. Other times we lean a little to the right and fall off again.  But when we can take our eyes off of ourselves and look to him; we gain a sense of balance and then finally momentum. It’s in God’s redemption of our personal failures that we develop confidence in him and learn that we can trust him with anything. Allowing the Holy Spirit to work in our lives, no matter how many times we have to start over, is how we come to understand what mercy really is.

I can’t help but visualize a child learning to ride a bike.  The new rider never gets on without training wheels and rules to the road. Even with those precautions in place, we never send the rider off on their own. We’re usually found right alongside with arms outstretched, chanting “You can do it!” It hurts us when they fall or wreck but at NO point, do we ever stop loving them because they fell.  Why, that even sounds absurd. We RUN to their rescue and pick them up to sooth them or encourage them to try again.

Over time, the child begins to remember those general guidelines. We can stand back and allow them to navigate within the boundaries that we have given. There will always be consequences. But there will always be freedom as well.

I think the word is a lot like those training wheels and rules.  It’s always there to refer back to. It never changes or waivers.  It’s up to us to decide when and when not to apply it. Christ is always there to catch or encourage us. But it is necessary for us to fall a little in order to understand why and how those boundaries apply to our life and how to appreciate all that God can really offer.  No matter what though, he never leaves us. Whether we’re a new rider or walking the fence, HE is our biggest champion. We just have to find the courage to believe…

Dad and I (about 1985) 

Stumbling Blocks

Recently I attended a birthday party at our church for a friend’s daughter. I was hovering a food table with 2 other parents, discussing something that I can't remember now. I don't know what was said or even asked but I got excited and said the 'D' word. **Sigh**

Cussing is one of the many areas that I struggle in. I pray about it. I think about it. I think about not thinking about it and it still happens. Most of the time, I say oops and move on. This day was very different.

As it turns out, one of the parents that I was talking with is a man that is still trying to decide what he believes in. We see each other at kid’s games and other social events. He knows that I've led bible studies in the Women's Ministry at my church for the last 2 years. When we see each other, God usually works himself into our conversations. On this day, we hadn't gotten that far yet. -But when I said the word, it startled the man. I mean literally. He jumped and took a step back and then started shaking his head. He said "Oh.... so you're not..."  And then he didn't finish his sentence. He refused to finish, even after my prompting, but I knew the implication.

I am usually an open book and up for a good teasing or deep discussion. However, seeing his reaction startled me. I am not really sure what I said after that either.  I tried to laugh it off. I tried to wipe it out by offering a disclaimer that I still make mistakes but the man just looked like he'd been slapped in the face. He was utterly confused.

I have thought about that moment and his reaction almost daily since it happened. While the bible does not state that cussing is a sin. We are called to emulate God and give him the glory (1Cor 10:31).  It also says that we are called to "build each other up"(1Cor 14:26). -As in help others establish their own confidence in Christ. We do this not only by intentional gestures of kindness or encouragement; but also by simply living in our day to day and by being an example.-Whether or not we intended to be one, because someone is always looking.

1st Corinthians 8 talks about the freedom of Christians. It uses the analogy of eating meat offered to idols. You can modify that whole chapter with anything that we do. If done too much, too little or at the wrong time, it can be offensive no matter what it is. Particularly if someone else believes that it's bad. Verse 9 says that we should be careful how we exercise our faith so that we are not a stumbling block to those that are weaker in it.

One of my Boss's favorite sayings is "Perception is reality". Meaning that if someone believes something is real, no matter what it is. Then it is real. -At least to them.  It doesn't matter how much I struggle to find the right way internally because all others see in me are what I present outwardly. If anyone that is looking to me for direction, believes that something I do is misguiding. Then guess what... I look like the scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz. **Insert another sigh here.**

I am not trying to get legalistic and we certainly shouldn't get caught up trying to live up to everyone else's expectations. Thankfully, he sees my heart and he knows how remorseful I am. We should however at least consider the ripple that our one drop of water makes.

Proverbs 27:17 says that Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. I'd like to believe that I help sharpen others around me, in their faith, rather than dull them. If I weren’t so familiar with all of my flaws and shortcomings, how might they affect me, seeing them for the first time? Would any of them be so offensive that I was finally able to shake them loose?  Maybe 2013 will be a year of purging for me.  To take inventory of dead things that I have been holding onto and hopefully, finally let them go…

Just Accept

I love to listen to my 4 year old daughter who, without being asked, recounts the reasons why I love her. In addition, she also says "Mama aren't you glad that God gave me to you!" "Mama don't you think that I am SO pretty!" -Of course all of these things are things that she has heard me say to her. Her version of them is much cuter. -Sweeter.

I always giggle when she starts going because her ego is often bigger than she is. But for as much trouble as that could be later, I hope that she never loses her confidence. -We all know how fragile a girl's esteem can be. I'm glad that she is listening to something positive that I am saying.

Here lately, I've been thinking about her faith in what I say and how that compares to our faith in what Christ says. How often we complicate what God has to offer. Mark 10:15 asks us to believe as a child. Yet we demand proof. Oh, how the world has stained our view of what is acceptable and good. Honest and pure. -Something must be earned in order to be given.

We struggle with forgiveness because either we are still sinning or because we can't forgive ourselves. So we can't understand how someone else can simply make white, what we keep trying to scrub and scrub and scrub away. Well, here's a news flash. You and I will ALWAYS sin. He is the only perfect one and if he had the power to make us, he can certainly make us "new". Maybe even shiny.

Maybe we feel so unloveable that we can't fathom why he would love us. Jeremiah 1:5 says that even before he made us, he knew who were and then still chose to make us anyway. Psalms 45:11 says that he is enthralled by our beauty. -"Enthralled" really! I mean just close your eyes and envision Jesus holding you in his hand marveling at your every action.

The Lord doesn't brow beat us with what he wants us to know. He waits patiently for us to just wake up and say "oh yeah!!" "I accept, I accept!" Do yourself a favor and start trying to accept today. It's hard. I know. But pour your heart out and ask him to show you how to do this.

The next time you're alone in the shower, turn your face up to the heavens and say I am forgiven. I am made new. I am alive. I am loved. I am cherished. -add to it any promise that you can. Repeat it. But make sure that you are facing him when you do it. Shame makes us hide away and look down. I was surprised by how much this one simple gesture positioned my heart so that I could get a bit more Jesus in. Turn your face up like you're staring at the sun and just close your eyes and imagine that you are looking in his eyes. Don't argue or make excuses. Just stand there. Facing him. Repeating his promises to you and let his love wash over you.