Our Suffering and Our Calling

In hindsight it is always so surprising how we process concepts, even in regards to faith. For example, when the church shares messages on how “having God in your life makes things better”, the smallness of our minds can't compute it so it translates to "Getting faith will make your problems disappear". Um, nope. -Not a chance!

I'd almost venture to say that as you develop your faith, your problems might even get harder because then you're called to respond in a Godly way. And then the ante is upped again.

We also seem to wait to discover “our calling” before we step out in faith or to start sharing... But again another opposite is that we must step out, in order to discover. 

This message (link below) is a good one. It’s about our suffering and our calling. One of the highlights is in how we all process our suffering through our own belief system.  If you believe in God, then take your suffering to the Word of God. And what it speaks to you personally is your ministry. BOOM!

If you’re in a suffering season or a trial (or perhaps the next one that you’re in) don’t rely on yourself to reason it. (I’ve just given you two examples where we get it backwards.) Take it first in prayer and ask for the good Lord to open your eyes. Then take your trial to the bible. Search for scripture (either online or in a concordance) about your type of storm. Read the commentary to understand why certain things were and were not used. (That’s often where the nuggets are.)Then journal out your questions and what you feel scripture is speaking to you!  -Your “ah-has” are your testimony, your witness and your steps to obedience.

There is no better connector to God than your obedience to what he wants you to do. There is no better “disconnector” in your relationship to God than your disobedience. (Even if it is only obedience delayed).

I’m praying with you and for you in your season!  God speak!

http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/mini-bible-college/listen/the-storms-of-life-the-word-and-the-witness-511919.html

A little I.O.U. to the BIG guy!

I've got a testimony that I've been sitting on and I just need to come clean with it! Oddly enough, it's not a bad one. It's a great one! I've just been worried that it will come across like I am trying to boast about myself instead of glorifying God. But I don't only want to talk about how I see God help me in the storm. I want to talk about those radical ah-has that got my attention!

In 2012 I shared my first testimony. In 2013 I changed my life to focus only on family and God. I also started writing as a bi-product of that. On a June day, I posted a prayer. I felt strange as I did it but I had made a challenge for myself with God that I would accept every opportunity to pray out loud for a year in hopes to overcome my fear of doing it. I felt like this post was just another variation of that challenge. So, I accepted. One of the many lines of that prayer included "show me one new thing that I miss in my every other day".

It took me two weeks to write about it but THAT VERY SAME DAY the motor in my 4Runner blew. It might not sound like such a great God testimony at first but hang in there.

ALL of the events of that day really spoke to me. I had such a feeling of his nearness. True joy & true peace. A calmness, unlike me, that just covered me. Everyone that was involved seem to have the same phrase "never seen that before" which just made me tune in that much more to my earlier prayer and what he might be doing. Little things also made me see how he provided during the storm.

As it turns out replacing/repairing the motor in that year 4Runner is double-triple what I anticipated it to be. We weren't in a position to buy a car or even fix this one. From the moment it broke, I knew that God was going to have to be involved in the solution. But he met my need along the way at every junction.

It actually took a few months for us to decide what to do. So August comes along. We still don't have any money. A relative offers to help but really can't do more than what the motor costs and the 4Runner needed more work before this issue. We're not sure which direction to go. We look for cars that might match that allowance but sadly, even though it's a lot of money to me, we couldn't seem to find a vehicle that matched what we had to give.

I once heard Joyce Meyer talk about a bracelet that she gave away. It was a foreign concept to me that God might want me to give up a "thing" that belong to me in order to make someone else happy [or even to give him glory]. I mean sure it's easy to give up old clothes and broken dishes especially when someone else needs them. But why would he want me to give up something I liked; something I loved and was even given or blessed with? I mean I did "earn" it, right? Funny how we think that...

But something else that she said resonated with me even more. She said that God told her "Once I tell you to give something away, it no longer belongs to you, and if you keep it after that, it will never give you joy"

I never considered myself to be a "things" kind of person. However, some memories of my childhood were harder than others. We moved a lot and so we never kept anything. We didn’t have much money and so what we did have was usually second hand if we didn’t go without. -Not that there is any shame in that but because of that, a pair of diamond earrings that I had made me feel special.

Not only that they were sentimental. I know that I received them as a blessing from God but I also received them from a person that I deeply love.

Then one day on my knees in prayer over this situation, I was considering things that I might have to sell. These earrings suddenly came to mind. It will sound ridiculous but I sat in my closet and sobbed. Not over having to get rid of things but it almost felt more like a sob of repentance for storing some kind of worth [maybe even my own] or value in things. The moment was brief and when it was over, I just knew that they had to go.

I tried to sell them but even with the rising cost of gold, I couldn't even get a third of what they were worth. Because they were special; what I was offered monetarily just wasn't enough to justify my getting rid of them even if it was just a contribution toward my issue.

But Malachi 3:10 just kept circling.

So again, in prayer I asked God what he was trying to get me to see. I just kept feeling like I needed to give them up for God. I remembered that story from Joyce. I thought about holding onto them and then possibly losing them later. Then I would be without the obedience and possibly still without the earrings. I can't explain the urgency that I felt but I needed to be free of them at once. Maybe because I simply didn't trust myself to not try to dictate who he wanted to have them.

So, I wrote two letters. One to my preacher and one to the "recipient" [if my preacher felt like it was appropriate]. The letter to my preacher contained my explanation and I am going to share one paragraph from it below:

"I am in a real place of need now. Not just monetarily but spiritually and even physically. I want to be in alignment with God more than anything else. I feel like this was just one more stone that needed to be plucked loose. (pun intended) I am thankful that I don’t need “things” to feel special anymore. I am also thankful that much like the two coins, he accepts what we have. The world might not buy what we have to sell but if it’s the only treasure that we have and if we give it to him; he not only accepts it but he can do more with it than the world ever could!"

My letter to the other person contained a testimony about something that I was given and a promise that I felt from God because of it. (Ask me about it sometime and I will share it with you.) I met my preacher on the corner and gave him a box with the two letters.

Meanwhile, family offered to help us find something newer than what we'd been looking for. I cringed but following my husband's lead, I went along. I prayed for God to give me an answer. I didn't want anyone going into debt on our behalf or even paying for that kind of expense. When we came to the first van, we opened the back and tears just started pouring from my eyes. ...It sounds silly, I know.  -But there was the same "nearness" in the tears.

If that wasn't enough when we sat at the table the salesman, JJ, tried to close the deal. I just couldn't commit. When he asked why, I explained about our truck and how family would have to help. We didn't technically have any money to give him right then. Then in one of those "Godly & coincidental" kind of ways the salesman (whom we've never met before) started giving a testimony about how God helped him in a real time of need and he used the generosity of others to bless him. Then he just kept repeating, "If someone wants to bless you, you should let them." I was still crying... just so much more by this point.

I know that someone on the other side of this screen is thinking "Of course he'd say that, he's trying to sell you a car!" But you'd have to have been there. My husband who, if the truth be told, is not really sure how he feels about God and who is also a man that is usually pretty itchy about talking to people. And yet, this same husband was chillin' at the table like he had all day to sit there with a car salesman. Seriously, we were there over an hour just talking about God. Not only that I am crying like a fool and JJ is practically preaching. It was a surreal moment. I mean can you just try to picture this for a second!?!

When JJ asks why I am still crying if someone wants to bless me... Colin just shakes his head and says my wife likes to hear people talking about good things! (And boy do I. Can somebody puh-lease tell me a testimony about blessings!!)

Even so, things were moving so fast. We needed to step back for a moment. I needed to pray and there were some other vans that we wanted to look at. So we stopped at a few dealerships on the way home.

In the next day or two, I got a phone call at work and thought it was a salesman for a van but it turns out that it was our youth pastor. We laughed about how I thought he was trying to sell me something. Then he asked if we were looking. I explained the situation. He asked if I'd like him to post an anonymous ministry need on his Facebook page. It felt a little weird but I said sure. I'd actually had peace since the motor went out and I had peace now too.

The next day when my youth pastor called to tell me that a family had a car that they wanted to donate, I really wasn't surprised but all I could muster up was "wow"... I was literally speechless. I mean what do you say to that other than Thank You God! -And thank you Ed and please, oh please, THANK THAT FAMILY!

This conversation is a little hard for me to figure out how to have with my husband. He doesn't know Ed or this family and this element of faith is a new area for both of us.  ...I know that it's a God thing but how on earth will I be able to convince him that I'd rather have the car. But it's too late. My husband and the relative have already found a van that they wanted to get.

I could have pushed the issue but while I may not always act it, I do feel a tremendous amount of respect for my husband and I do want to also respect his wishes. In this scenario, I feel like God has plainly met a need and revealed himself in it in either outcome. I try to talk to Colin but truthfully, the timing for this discussion is just never right. I blurt it out but can't possibly connect all of the dots in just a few moments. (In fact it has taken me 2 years to get it spelled out here.)

It ends up that we go with the Van. I call Ed and tell him to bless another family with the car and he has a perfect family in mind. (Gosh I wish that I could've been there when Ed told them the news!)

Now before you start trying to rationalize all of this; go back and read the prayer when I discovered my 4Runner was broken. "I want a running vehicle. Heck, a new car is just fine. I boldly ask for it. Why not?" - Did he not give me both! You can credit my family with one but how do you explain the other? Does his word not say "Come Boldy" and to ask for ALL THINGS.

But aside from that, I prayed for some other stuff even BEFORE the truck messed up. Read the last two paragraphs of the original prayer.

"If it's my rules that destroy my visibility, take me back to infancy. When I was so fresh from you, that I was not aware of my own desire. Did I then know, where I came from? Reduce me to tears and no other form of words. To be satisfied with what you give instead of what I want. -When I had no choice but to see what only you set before me. Even then, I am sure that I could not retain all of you but would I be able to see more? 

Prepare my heart God so that I can see, then show me at least one new thing that I miss in my every other day. Make this day new. Find me worthy of your secrets. My heart so longs to know more."

I mean "Reduce me to tears" and "Return me to infancy" -what does that even mean???? Don't feel weird. I had no idea either. I thought it was odd when I said it. But I have discovered that it was my heart [or my spirit man] asking to unlearn things that were holding me back in my faith. So that he could teach me what he wanted me to know about him instead.

If you know me at all, you know that I've become a crier. I might have cried at other points in my life. Maybe even all through my life. Truthfully, I can't remember how often. But I can tell you that during the last two years I have been a wet mess. (A good mess but a wet one! And literally choked up "as no other form of words") And as much as I want to explain it, I simply cannot tell you how I know that all of this crying is a God thing but I know that he is working in me with every.single.tear that falls!

When I told my preacher that I wanted my heart to be right with God, to give up superficial special things in order to right me.... Well he answered that too and made me see how insecure that I was. Gosh and I know that sometimes I might even portray the faithful life as only a struggle and maybe even condemn myself too much but I know that I know THAT I KNOW that God is with me now! And he promises to right ALL my paths that aren't straight!!!

And even still, I know that someone else saying, well if this is God and he did this for you why hasn't he done this for me or for anyone else that I know. Let me just tell you how much I have struggled with giving this testimony. For that reason...! In fact I have struggled more over this than giving up the earrings.

I don't know where you are in your life right now. But I once took an Experiencing God study. In this study there is a moment that is referred to as a "Crisis of Belief". In January 2013, I hit mine. I didn’t feel like my life was fitting quite right. I knew that it was finally time to stop going with the flow of life. I needed to pull over so that God could really do some work in me.

I started this strange little blogging/prayer/testimony thing. I actually had no idea what a blog even was or why exactly [at first] that I was writing. But it was my way of listening. I started changing some habits. –Wrestling with a few others! But documenting every piece of it helped me see his hand in my life. And any little thing that I felt like God was telling me to do; I really tried to be sure to do them. 

I want to say that it's about obedience but it's so much more than that. It's about the desire behind your motives in your relationship with God. Anyone can be obedient. The things that you are doing, are you doing them because you have to or because you want to?

If you take anything away from this at all, do not let it be anything related to the prosperity gospel. If you think that I am telling you that coming into faith suddenly means you get the presents. TRUST me when I tell you, that is not true!! Heck, follow the lives of Joseph, Job, Jeremiah or countless others to confirm that! 

In fact if you want to know the truth, I was paying my full tithes and working in the church and my motor still blew and I still could not afford to fix it. Bad & hard things happen to faithful people! BUT God was able to show me something else in that hardship that I had been blind to! He provides what we need in our absences. I assure you that if you're struggling, God will meet you in that struggle.

Confess your issues and the status of your relationship with him. Accept him as your Lord so that you can hear his replies. Believe for once that he might just be able to reveal himself to you and then ask him to help you be obedient. But when he answers BE SURE to GIVE HIM THE GLORY!

Acquiring faith is hard work and some serious dedication. But when I rearranged my life to know him, he met me at every level that I sought him. He continues to do so.

I implore you to do the same! Please Believe!

Go backs

1. It's not only your obedience but your delight in being obedient.
2. I see God more during the act of obedience or after than I do before my obedience. When he reveals himself, it makes it easier to trust him again later. So obedience is not just about completing tasks but rather building faith. 
3. Be specific & be bold in prayer!
4. Do not get stuck on the thing that I gave. If this seems boastful to you, I can totally tell you some areas that God is working with me now where giving for me is hard. Let's talk about it. 
5. It is not about the monetary value of things. Sometimes it's about what the thing represents in your life. Or he might even ask us to give up things that don't make any sense to us because it will mean a whole lot to someone else. You may never get the answer as to why you had to give it but if you were obedient, I guarantee you will see his hand somewhere else, look for it!
6. The way that I received the earrings surprised me. The van and the car surprised me and I have had other similar situations both great and small where he continues to surprise me. If God does something once, Trust that he can do it again! 
7. 'It' is never yours or ours, we are just stewards. When God blesses you with something, see if you can use it in a way to share a testimony OR bless others with it and also include with a word of encouragement about their relationship with God [giving him glory]? When you have to give it up, will you give him glory once again?
8. If you're not sure how to have a testimony about it, set a reminder. Try to write down as many of the details as you possibly can because you might forget some of those details later. If you can't complete it, it might not be time. If it keeps coming to your heart, he might have more for you to know. Keep collecting details until it is finished. Then you will know that it's his timing!

Photo credit: http://lovethispic.com

Legalism or Obedience

Updated 10/15/14

For some time now, I have been curious and even struggling occasionally with the difference between "legalism" and "obedience". I took a free study last fall on the book of Galatians. It was a tremendous help to me in this area. While in the process of completing that study, I also thought of a picture from my own life that has really helped me put it in perspective. 

Then I saw a comment from a reader on a blog and it reminded me of my own struggle. I thought about replying but what on earth would I say? Who am I to just jump in so boldly with someone that I do not even know? But a month went by and it was still begging me to answer. It wasn't until I sat down to reply that I realized my own heart still wanted to make sense of the very same questions. 

And so here it goes.... 

The Picture (from an old me)

I work in a help desk position for an I.T. department. Occasionally, I change offices and get to work near my Supervisor at a desk just outside of his office. Let's just say that I have an issue or task that I am working on. I've been at the desk for hours. I've gone through my known resolutions or steps. I've even tried a few new things. I can't seem to complete the task.

Being just outside of my Supervisors office, he hears and sees everything. He is incredible gracious and always has the right answer. He asks if I would like help. I shrug him off, adamant that I will figure this out on my own. There is something about me wanting to have the right answer all by myself.  (I think they call it pride. haha)

Anyway, I may continue trying my own way. Doing all of the things that I know to do or believe are right. -Making sure to get every step correct. [ahem, Works] But my frustration grows and my focus magnifies but maybe for all of the wrong reasons. 

My Supervisor really wants to help me. He might ask again or stay close just in case I change my mind. I may refuse his help again. I might try all of the stuff that I've already tried. I might call a friend, a co-worker or a different version of support...

Sometimes I complete the task and resolve the issue. Sometimes I eventually run out of my own resources and I will finally give in and ask him. 

Still using this example but back to the post-

1. With legalism we are more focused on getting the right answer, or practicing the ritual or following the rules, than in being in harmony with him.

2. Ironically being in harmony with him does not mean that we have found some state of perfection by any means. You will see a word "Righteousness" in a minute that has confused me a number of times. It does not mean perfection. While I am still trying to understand the full meaning of "Righteousness", I think that it's accurate to say that "to live righteously" represents a willingness, attentiveness and activeness to God and not about the number of tasks checked off or done particularly well.

(Meaning that we might do our very best and still get some things wrong or left undone but God sees our heart. If our intentions are about following him, then he is able to do something with us.)

3. Check out Romans 4:13-15. "It was not through the law that Abraham and his offspring received the promise that he would be heir of the world, but through the righteousness that comes by faith. For if those who depend on the law are heirs, faith means nothing and the promise is worthless, because the law brings wrath. And where there is no law there is no transgression."

That's a lot. Take a moment to let that process...

Now here's the comment that I saw. It had a few questions within it-

"I don't know if you respond to comments and questions here? I have a question that has nothing to do with your post today. In my own brokenness from life I have been encouraged and enlightened by the message of grace you have been teaching. On my journey in understanding that I don't need to please God by doing xy and z I am not sure what to do with scriptures like "Draw near to God and He will Draw near to you" Or when Paul says in His letters that when you do "these things it is pleasing to God". Or "present your life as a living sacrifice that is holy and acceptable to God". Appreciate some further understanding on this?"

My attempt to answer that-

Question 1. Draw near to God and He will Draw near to you - Just like in the picture that I used. God is always there and he is always willing/able. He kept offering but it wasn't until I was able to bring myself to turn to him that he could actually become part of my process or until I could become truly usable by him. 

Brace yourself, this next part might sound offensive but please hear me out and weigh it. (I think it offended me too the first time that I heard it so I'll attach links to what I've learned because of it.) 

If we can't bring ourselves to turn to God, then we have a love problem.

That is not a personal criticism. That does not mean that we can't love or that we're even unloveable or anything like that at all. It just means that we have a glitch in our process. 

But I'll admit in hindsight, I didn't know how to love God. I didn't know that at the time. I thought I was showing God that I loved him by following all of the rules. I "tried" and "tried" [works & works] but just couldn't get it. (I had to ask him to help me love him. I also had to ask him to help me love the bible and learn to pray, because none of that made any sense or came easily to me.)

I know that asking for such simple things sounds really trivial but the glitch was at the beginning of my process and that's why the rest of it wasn't working. Showing love and loving are two different things...  This leads me into the second question and yes, another picture.

Question 2. When Paul says in His letters that when you do "these things it is pleasing to God"

(Another picture) In this example, I am going to use marriage. When I first met my husband, I swooned over him. I jumped through hoops and aimed for every hoop. Not because he gave me a list of hoops to jump through but because my heart wanted nothing more than to love/serve/work for him.

Stop there. I have five points. 

Point 1 - Look at the difference in the motive behind my actions. Nothing brought my own heart greater joy than to do those things. I never once felt forced to. It was simply my strongest desire.

My commentary in my Bible on Romans 2:7 says: We are not saved by good deeds, but when we commit our lives fully to God, we want to please him and do his will. As such, our good deeds are a grateful response to what God has done, not a perquisite to earning his grace. 

Point 2 - When I see "it is pleasing to God" My mind wants to take that word "pleasing" and make it some sort of law about love instead; As if I am too vile ordinarily to please (be loved by) God. 

Regardless of how you and I or even God "feels" about our sin; it doesn't change his desire to have a relationship with us. In fact, Romans 5:8 says that it is while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Rephrased: He didn't wait for us to get perfect before he thought we were worth it.) But that's a whole other rant, so I will switch back to the current point. 

And you get to switch places with God for a moment- When someone does something for us, don't we want them to do it because they so desperately want to do it and not because they feel so much pressure to perform. -That is the sense of pleasing that I think we should be focused on. Pleasing as in the joy of voluntary reunion, like with the Prodigal Son. 

Point 3 - We now have two examples of relationships; one with my supervisor and one with my spouse. 

What we don't immediately recognize is the way that Trust, Courage and Commitment all play a part in the success of those relationships. Each needs to be cultivated, which all happens by the practice of trusting and committing and pushing past fear and doubt.

Point 4 - We please God by having faith in him.  Faith does not mean believing that there is a God or even believing that he is God. Faith means believing God. -What he says, who he is and what he will do.  This is why Point 3 is so important. If we don't work through Point 3, we often don't make it here. And oddly enough Point 1 doesn't always happen until after this point. (Again, that glitch that I was referring to... We're still waiting for the first point [that overwhelming feeling] to take shape and propel me into obedience.)

Point 5. Just like we are hired for a job, we are also designed with a purpose. You and I were made to be you and I because we can do something that no one else can do. Just stop for a second and imagine being God and watching us, his creations, live and develop just as HE designed. 

We aren't stalling with worry or hiding away in a remote location full of fear and doubt because we trust that he is with us. We're not running around checking in with all of our friends to see what they thought about our 'it' first. We go directly to him instead. We're not backtracking and retracing a past that has already moved on without us. We're just letting everything else go and living in this one moment, every moment, as if we're all fearfully and wonderfully made. I mean gosh, I can almost hear it now "YES!! GOOD JOB My faithful servant!" 

I know that sounds hippyish but consider the truth in it.

Question 3. "Present your life as a living sacrifice that is holy and acceptable to God"

Immediately what comes to mind here in "presenting your life" is to be open about your life and how God is working in it. -NOT "lock down every bolt and make sure that you represent the cookie cutter Christian". It's okay that you don't have all of the answers. He will perfect them in time. He wants to do something with each of us right now, if we just ask him. 

By you and I discussing what we ask for, what we struggle with and how he answers, we are presenting God in real time. A God that is still living and dwelling here among us. For most of us that's going to cause us to sacrifice a little something. Maybe it's fear, maybe it's pride, maybe it's time and a little effort to get to know him. But in doing so, each day, we are then presenting our lives toward God and in return he comes to life in us. ...and then everywhere around us. 

I just can't stop thinking of the verse in  1 Peter 1:16 "I'm holy, so you be holy." To me that translates to: Love me enough to want to be with me and learn about me. Be willing to leave your plans and your agenda, (even if you've got this big task you're working on for me. -Be willing to leave it) so that you can follow me in the right now of every day.

When we live "righteously", "obediently" and "faithfully" there is an element of holiness that happens because of that, without our having to try so hard to be that way. When we are "righteous" he is able to "right us".

Recap (And a note to the journaler) 

I see now we've made to the end of this. I seriously can't say just how much journaling helps me. These questions stayed on my heart long after I read them, just like the picture. I kept meaning to write it down but then life would happen... Writing not only helps me remember, but writing it out helps me calculate the thoughts. It's often not until I am already writing that I get the real "ahas". It's like all of these seeds are floating around in the depths of my soul and being willing to pull them out and line them up, organizes them into neat little rows where they can take root. Then I know where they are when I need them later. 

I don't know what it's like being on the other side of this screen but I hope the heart behind this message has been received. I am still a woman that struggles with legalism and condemnation my own self. If you've made it here and you still have questions; trust me when I tell you that you can ask him. Ask God what he wants you to know about this post, this life or even your relationship with him. Trust and expect that he will give you an answer that will satisfy your heart like nothing else will. Take a moment to write it down because you might forget part of the answer later. If you feel like you can't hear God speak, I've got notes about that too.

Let us pray together

Dear Heavenly Father, Your word says that if we ask, you will provide the answer. If we seek you, you will be revealed. If we knock, you will open the door. Thank YOU for honoring our hearts. The ones that you so thoughtfully made. Even when we resist the urges to draw closer, thank you for waiting just outside. Call us in God, into your grace and mercy. Into the abundance of your overflowing love. Let it wash the rules and stains from our hearts and eyes so that we can see you in every way that you want to be revealed. When your Word and the sermons and lectures of this earth don't make sense, give us a picture from our personal lives that speaks to us directly and personally and carefully like you always do. Ignite our hearts God and let it fuel those among us. 

Picture credit - Sadly I found this picture on Pinterest and emailed myself the link, thinking that I could go back and get more details later. It did not work out that way... I can't even find it on a board in order to get the correct info but I don't have a Pinterest account either. If you do, perhaps you could check for me (by clicking the link) and see what comes up. Thank you.

Reflecting | Branch 23

The last few months have sort of been a slow motion of God and I doing comparisons. Like reconciling the checkbook. Here is my list of my debits and credits. How do they line up with his word. Sometimes it feels like a line item by line item process. Unlike the dreaded checkbook, I love this kind of reconcile. Maybe not when he highlights an out of balance item for the first time; but after the thought has had time to settle...

I also love that when God is dealing with us about something, he continues with it until we get it. That is, as long as we continue with him. He plants these little seeds of correction that I might not understand at first but then when I am out of balance, he 'highlights' it again in real time. I can then see exactly where or what he's showing me.

I know that he is trying to teach me 'stillness'. Stillness can be applied in every area of our lives but for now that lens is focused on my mouth. Here are some of my examples.

1. How passive aggressive, sarcasm and even good natured humor can tear another down. We never know how the devil is working in someone's life and so if our words don't build another up, why say them at all?

2. I often over explain when it's unnecessary and even describe myself or my personal situation(s) with a negative tone. It doesn't represent how I feel about me or even who God created me to be. I think that it's a habit from an old place but it really doesn't fit me anymore. It's time to let it go!

3. Is my mouth so full of words that even though they are not all negative, the goodness is lost in the sheer quantity of what is being said?

All of the above and many other examples represent useless chatter. If it doesn't serve not only a purpose but the specific purpose of building up, is it in fact useless, or even worse... destructive?

The misuse of words doesn't sound like such a big deal but if I have to spend more time correcting what I just said, it can get rather exhausting.  Wearing myself out, isn't exactly the kind of 'stillness' God has in mind. Not only that but our mouth is often the first thing that people notice about us and the only thing that they remember later.

The Bible is full of verses about the power of the tongue and controlling the mouth but I am thinking of James 1:24 (NLT) instead. "But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like." 

I love that. "Face in a mirror". I didn't understand that verse when I first read it. But it just makes so much sense now. Doesn't the bible say that we are each made in his image? Aren't we all called to reflect a glimpse of God to all who see us, including ourselves? 

If that's the case, shouldn't we start in front of that mirror every day to 'fix' our eyes on our maker? To 'tweak' our thoughts 'just so' and 'blot' our lips to remove any excess? Do we truly see ourselves with the same purpose and vitality that we were made with and will we remember to display it when we walk away from the glass?

Later in the day when inadequacy begins to knock, will we return to that mirror to 'touch up' what has worn away. Reconciling our flesh against our father's truth. Restoring the fullness of hope and inviting his word to not only penetrate but to purify what we offer of ourselves.

The very next verse says "But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it." (James 1:25 NLT)

Free of the burden of heavy habits and then something to fret over later. Free knowing that we encouraged another and that by doing so, we encourage ourselves. Free to know the peace that comes with excellency when we obtain it. Free to anyone who believes...

Sometimes stillness isn't about not doing anything but more about allowing ourselves time to pause and think about who we are. As we realign our heart, his image comes into view. Then our reflection follows suit.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Matthew 5:8 (NIV)

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Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. (2 Corinthians 5:17, 20, 21 NASB)



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The word "branch" was used in the title because it relates to one of the tree characteristics from an earlier post.

Start Your Fire (down at the PBC)

A couple of weeks ago, I shared a post called "Fire Starters". I don't usually share my blog posts on our church Facebook page but I felt led to share that one. Afterwards, I started beating myself up because I spoke about some things that  happened in church. I was worried that someone might interpret that as a negative message about what they would find inside. I might have even given the devil an opportunity to have a field day with it; by keeping new people from wanting to come and by upsetting the people that currently attend.

In the time since that post, I have thought more and more about how easy it is to be offended. We don't like what someone says, or a particular message that was given, the way the choir sings, the uncomfortable pews, the temperature of the building or blah blah blah...  There is just too much stuff to not like, if we stop to think about it.

I might have gotten upset when someone made a comment to me (refer to the other post). In hindsight, it was such a catalyst for me to get real about my faith. I took it straight to God and he really put me in my place. "Are you coming to church for the people or for me?" In so many ways, I can't help but be thankful for that one moment. (And countless other moments in my life that initially made me uncomfortable).

I didn't like it. It didn't stroke my ego. If I had given that one spark the room to ignite; I might have never settled down at any church. If I didn't let God convict me and then make a decision to commit no matter how I felt, then I would have missed out on meeting some pretty incredible people inside it.

If I got mad enough to walk away, I might not have seen 2 of my 3 children baptized so early in life or I would've missed the blessing of hearing my preacher sing from the pit of his soul, the opportunity to be a part of some mission opportunities right here in my own community, and the gift of belonging to a purpose.

I pray to be a strong woman of faith and to have a big, strong family right there with me. I pray to have good Christian friends and that somehow I can make a difference in the life of another.  When I first started praying those prayers, I was not where I am now. Although I am not perfect by any means, God has been able to answer some of those prayers, simply by my willingness to be obedient.  -Even when it hurt. How many times in life do we allow offenses to cheat us from the glory that awaits us, if we would just push through?

And no, you don't need to come to church to prove that you believe in God or even to find him. But at some point, doesn't faith require us to get over ourselves? True worship is selfless. It's not what a church can do for us, or what we think that we can do for God but a recognition of who we are called to be in Christ and coming forward to find our position.

Church is one of the greatest spiritual weapons that you can have.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12  says Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. (NIV)

and

Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

No matter where you are in your faith, I encourage you to cultivate your desire to know God and to discover the power of church.  Don't stop once you hit the doors.  If sitting in the back is getting comfortable then move a little closer to the front, or come again on another day, or even sign up for an activity inside.  The closer that you get to the heart of it, the more you will realize how much it is exactly what you have been looking for.

You might not be able to come to Providence but there is a church somewhere that is has been waiting for you. Choose one and then keep coming back. If you'd like to come to Providence, we'd love to have you. Our services are at 9:00 and 10:30.

Revelations 2:10 Be faithful unto death, and I will give you the crown of life.

Postlude To The Knots

By the end of February, I started getting the hint that I might need to write a bit more boldly about my past, hence the last 3 posts. I really wasn't sure how to approach that. Weren't there other things that I should or could consider before taking such a crazy step?

In March, there were more urges to write about it and finally, I told God, "If YOU want me to write about it, you're going to have to make me go there (emotionally). I have not been in that dark place in a long time."

I scratched the surface at "Freedom | Part Two", by "Unraveling The Knots", I was a mess. I cried for over a week. My heart was so heavy. As I started writing, I began to wonder if I was sinning. God had healed me from a dark place and had buried the pain of the past. Was I sinning by going back and digging up something that he had laid to rest? Did I invite the Devil in, by giving him a foothold and perhaps he was making it all so much worse?

I wrote a lot of things and spoke to my husband and to my preacher. Then I wrestled with God some more. I couldn't bring myself to come clean yet because I had this "to do" list attached to it. I felt like each one of those items needed to be checked off before I could make the leap.

-But my timing was off and I was so frustrated because I couldn't see how I was supposed to accomplish X and Y before ever getting to the Z. And the need for Z seemed to be closing in. I kept hearing God tell me to "go" and "tell the truth" but then I realized -that was all- that he was asking me to do. All of those other little complicated steps, were little things that I threw in there.

But I didn't get that epiphany until, I asked God to give me some sort of analogy. I could tell that he was trying to teach me something but I just couldn't put my finger on it. As I was driving to work last week, I felt prompted to imagine a tree. -So, I did. It was a big and beautiful tree in a field. It was still green but getting ready to change for the fall. There was a little house in the back ground. Maybe a mountain in the distance, some tall grass and wild flowers... Then God said, "I only asked you to imagine the tree. You threw all of that other stuff in there and it was only about the tree. The rest of it distracts and takes away from... just like your list."

-HELLO!? How is it that I have not noticed this before? -That my response to a simple command was embellished so easily? If hearing the word "go" was attached to a list and imagining a tree became an entire landscape; how many things have do I regularly just convert to "bulk". -And it was done so automatically.

I didn't have to think about how to make it bigger. Instead I seem to be missing the ability to see and hear so simply. I bet that's why we're all so tired. I bet none of us realize how "complex" we make things.

A verse that I refer to a lot is Matthew 11:28 NLT Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." But I think the following verses are even more important. "Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

I had to look up the word "yoke". It's a wooden harness that goes over the oxen. A harness is used to guide but also to restrain. Then the tears started forming. If he can just slow me down to his pace...

Maybe that's what all of those knots were in the first place.  Whether it's a necklace, a rope, or a chain; it was a pretty corny analogy but it gets the point across. Each of those things are pretty straight, just like his path. It's possible that all of those knots that I was struggling with, were the very things that I added to his simple plan.

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Dear God, I thank you for the ways that you open my eyes. I love how you make me see so differently. I pray that you keep drawing out all of these things that are "of me" so that I can become "more like you". Please continue this in all of the areas of my life. 

I want your yoke upon me. I want your will to be my own. I am realizing that you have a completely different approach to life than what I attempt.  I can't even begin to fathom your way but you can teach me. Every time you reveal something to me, I am in awe. Even though I can take your word to heart and chant it over and over, I still often fail to apply it. 

I am so thankful that you see my heart. That you know how much I want your way. And that YOU can transform me into what you envisioned in the first place. Your glory is immense. Please use me as your vessel. Mold me as you will. 

Guided by the Spirit

Last week I went on a field trip with my daughter. She had been looking forward to this particular Clifford exhibit for months. The suspense for her was building as we walked inside and then stood in line to take off coats and wait for the restroom. "Can we go see Clifford now?" "Can we go see Clifford now?" 

Once we finally passed through the gate she took off running. I was yelling for her to stop but she had no awareness of anything except her desire to see Clifford.  Although she was running forward, she wasn't looking the same direction. Her head was to the left, to the right, up in the air, yelling "Clifford" and shrieking wildly. -Never once actually seeing anything, not even the people that had to step aside so that she didn't run into them. I was finally able to get her to slow down, just as she was coming up on another exhibit. She didn't stop. She just became aware of a near collision and that the path was changing. Fortunately for everyone when she rounded the corner, the big red dog was there waiting. Everyone was now safe.

As the day unfolded God used that example as a way to speak to my own heart about my own approach to things. I am eager to serve. I am eager to do. But even though I am moving forward how many other places am I looking instead of where I am going? Proverbs 16:9- says "The mind of man plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps."  -If only we keep that ear tuned for all of the instructions.

Then several of my own recent commitments were brought to mind. Some were things that I prematurely committed to without waiting to see if it was his plan for me. How many times do I wait for the full set of instructions? I hear what I want. I get the gist and just start moving. Usually, I am trying to multitask the entire way to the finish line. Then I get agitated because too many things are happening and I find it hard to focus.

Galatians 5:13 says "For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another." I am free to do, but do I use that freedom to serve only myself and meet my own needs? Am I so consumed with my own agenda that I am barreling over others, without notice? Or am I truly serving my first purpose, to love, and then stopping to help or encourage someone else along the way? -No matter how busy or hurried I am.

The commentary in my bible from Galatians 5:16-18 says that being led by the Holy Spirit involves the desire to hear, the readiness to obey God’s word and the sensitivity to discern between my feelings and his promptings. Live each day controlled and guided by the Holy Spirit. Then the words of Christ will be in my mind, the love of Christ will be behind my actions and the power of Christ will help me control my selfish desires.

It also says that faith is expressed through love. Well, that pretty much puts it in perspective for me now doesn’t it? If I only seek his full directions first; I won’t find fulfilling them such a burden. Perhaps my own response is a good gauge for whether or not I am still on the original plan. If I find myself too busy or too agitated then that should be my indication that I have gotten off track. I should quickly stop and turn back for correction; making sure that my motivation is more about obeying than doing.