Devotion: Drifting

I probably could’ve shortened this one but sometimes it’s hard to tell which examples or details are needed or not. I remember the days I couldn’t hear God speak and quite frankly, I thought other people could be a little nuts when they said God did. But I’ve learned a few things since that time and I’d like to share them with you. May this devotion ‘speak’ to you. God bless. ❤️ Additional tools: 1. 10 Powerful ways God speaks in the Bible - https://www.crosswalk.com/faith/bible... 2. Video & Workbook Bible Study ‘Experiencing God’ by Henry Blackaby: https://blackaby.org/experiencing-god/ 3. For more devotions like this one visit: http://faith-unfolding.blogspot.com/ or subscribe to my channel.

The Butterfly

While healing and solitude may not sound like anything glamourous, I’d like to point out something about the butterfly.

The stages that a butterfly must go through to earn its wings is nothing short of awing. Not only do they begin as one creature, disappear into the darkness, only to emerge as another that is completely different. But a caterpillar is made in such a way that it essentially digests itself and turns to complete liquid before coming back together to form the butterfly. And the ONLY way they can fly, is by the muscle that is built during the struggle to break free from the cocoon. If interrupted or assisted in any way, it could ruin their ability to fly at all.

We can’t just say that we forgive, or take a class, or practice new things. While those things are also important, they can’t bypass the emotional work that needs to be done. We must learn to sit in the darkness and allow our emotions to expose themselves to us fully. Witnessing them. Letting them take us down to their depths without our trying to judge them, correct them, or tamp them back down with food, alcohol, drugs, sex, entertainment, or some other distraction. -Discovering our wholeness, facing parts of ourselves that we may not have seen before and sitting with them. Digesting our story along with the ones we’ve told our self and questioning their truths.

There’s something else about a butterfly’s transformation that is important to point out. Metamorphoses also requires and happens during deep rest and solitude. That chrysalis is suspended for a reason. How much greater is the change happening on the inside during this time than anything that we could ever erect, or see, on the outside.

If you want to change your life, embrace these secrets. Befriend all of the parts of you, without anyone else around. Loving ourselves is a struggle that most of us have – and to do it for no good reason—makes no sense! But no one can rescue us from it, or do it for us. It’s a struggle that we must earn. While it can be brutal, messy, and exhausting, breaking through those barriers that we have to/around ourselves (often referred to as shadow or egowork), can be our most beautiful work, and the very thing that gives us our wings.

Washing Oysters

This devotion is in two formats, video and as a blogpost. Scroll farther down to read, instead of watch or listen.

Watch the video:

Read the devotion:

It is surreal the way that some things can touch you. In this case, for me, it was in washing oysters. I sat on a pier Thursday night removing sea squirts, barnacles, crabs, and muck from their tiny shells. In some weird way, it felt like the greatest honor to be able to care for something so small. There was an unexplainable amount of love and peace felt with everything I touched.

I can’t say that oysters have ever been any part of my routine either. So, they weren’t ever anything that I would notice, much less give too much thought about or sentiment. (Until maybe in recent months when I feel like God uses them to talk to me about so many things, spiritually, in metaphor. So, now they mean something to me and I’m kind of crazy about ‘most things’ oyster or pearl. I adore them.) 

Then my daughter and I joined the Chesapeake Bay Foundation over the summer in their #savethebay project. We are now oyster gardeners.

As I sat on that pier, I couldn’t get over how beautiful they were. I must have dozens of pictures in my phone and I think I could have sat there with them, all night. 

Imagine if we all felt like that about all little things... no matter how mundane, dirty, or small. Of course, I pray this is one of those things that sticks, for me, in ALL aspects of my life. Even when I’m doing something for the thousandth time. I want to hold that moment and remember-- there is honor in it, and privilege in taking care of things.

Days later, I am still meditating on that experience. And as I do so, I am reminded of several verses like:

- Isaiah 40:11 that says “He gathers us in his arms, and holds us close to heart.”  

- Psalm 139:9-10 “God holds us in his right hand”. 

- John 10:28 “no one can snatch us from his hand”

-And then 1 John 1:9 that talks about the way “he cleanses us”

And now, I can’t help but see that strange and wonderful love rush must’ve been the way God looks at each of us.

Not all of the things I removed from the oysters were bad either. However, they were harmful for the oyster in some way. If they didn’t kill them immediately, they could gradually accumulate in the cage and suffocate or drain them. Some had to be pulled off, others scraped. Much of it was messy. But never once, did I see something I didn’t want to touch. I wanted to restore ‘my babies’. And free what was precious to me.

I don’t know how many oysters I touched. Each one unique, and I admired all of the shapes, and hues, and the ways that they were each so different and growing at various paces. I wanted to see every one of them, and each of their details, and help them have their best chance at health, success, and life. I understood their purpose and how important they were —their cause, to me.

Friend, I don’t know what you think about, or find passion in, but so many times we can see ‘our time with God’ as a separate event or task from the things that we’re already doing. Zephaniah 3:17 tells us that God is in our midst. He is always available for communication.

I don’t know how you view God, or think that he looks at you. There may be things that you are ashamed of, and things that you wrestle with, and can’t bear to look at. But you’ve got a Father that sees WHAT HE LOVES IN YOU, more than he sees anything ‘dirty’ or ‘too messy’, to fool with anywhere else you are concerned.

The rest of that verse in 1 John 1:9 says “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 

There is a ‘togetherness’ in our cleansing. Don't underestimate what happens when you spend time with the Lord. No matter how or where you spend it. And whatever you've got on you, just lay it all bare before him. He already sees it. His son died to get a hold of it. Let God cleanse you, and show you how much he loves you for who you already are.

A Lighter Journey

A couple of years ago I went to Las Vegas for a conference for work. It’s one of the perks that I love about my job; getting to go places and see things that I wouldn’t ordinarily get to see. (Yes, that includes the conferences and the actual speakers and information.) I had never been to Vegas before, or anywhere beyond the east coast for that matter – at that time. While I can’t say that Vegas wasn’t on any list of places that I wanted to go, I was excited about finding something new on the trip.

Our hotel and the conference were both deep in the heart of the city. The first day gave us a good pocket of time before the events kicked off, I searched for non-Vegas attractions. -Things to do 'outside' of where I would be staying over the next few days.

 

Immediately, I found it. Red Rock Canyon. 

My co-worker and I are more of the outdoorsy types anyway, so we slipped away for a 'quick' hike. That is if there is such a thing... 

The park was 40 minutes away from our hotel. But we had a fun Uber driver that liked people (which is surprisingly not the case with all drivers). And she was even kind enough to wait the 1-2 hours Paula and I wandered around the trail. (This is a good thing to note. Because cell coverage isn’t so hot there. The odds of getting an Uber or Taxi on the way back would have been a lot more difficult. Especially in a time crunch.) I took her picture too but in the two years since it looks like I’ve only retained the ones you see here in this post. I’m thankful for these none-the-less.

Anyway, it was so beautiful there. I mean yes, it’s all rocks, dirt, and plants, but it looks different than what you see here, in Virginia. There were desert-y and cactus-y flowers. Even some that looked like mini cotton plants. And contrary to our hiking in the mountains of Virginia, this place was mostly flattish plains against the mountains. For every mound above the ground, you could see the different types of sediment layers in the rocks. But what surprised me the most was that during the hike, you walked closer to the mountains and then farther away from them. There were very few hills to climb and no trees to obstruct the view. And the mountain was always right in front of you. At least in this particular park.

It was one of those beautiful days too where the sky seems like that perfect bright blue backdrop to super white clouds. And it felt kind of like being in a time-lapse video, or something that you would see on T.V. because when the clouds rolled over, you could feel their shadow and see it, coming in, and going out over the ground, the whole way that it traveled. I guess another perk to ‘flat’ land.

There was so much to take in and so many details to notice.

Oddly enough one of the things that stuck out from the trip is that a doggie bag was left by another hiker on the trail. I was a little annoyed that someone took the time to bag it and then leave it. What was the point? I thought to myself as I continued hiking.

I didn't even realize that mini conversation with myself 'stuck' with me but it did. That question would later lead to an incredible catchphrase for some of my own thoughts that I needed to clean up.

You see about a week before coming to Vegas we adopted a cheetah disguised as a long-haired German shepherd. She was only 3 but still FULL of puppy energy. When I returned from my trip, I started taking her on my morning runs.  I had never really run with a dog before. At least not on a leash. Sure, I had other dogs but running with them was different. By the time that I started becoming more active and running intentionally, all of my dogs were older and had health problems, so sadly, they couldn’t go along. Running Cleo was going to be part of the morning routine. Although, I am not really sure who runs who. She is so fast that for the first few months, I had to ride a bike just so I could keep up with her and it felt every bit like the death ride that it sounds. –At least when we were taking off.

Anyway, so, we all know that proper etiquette is picking up behind your dog. But on this side of things carrying a bouncy bag of poo is every bit as unappealing as it sounds. And to make it less bouncy, holding the bulky part makes you more aware of the heat and texture. It’s not exactly something that you want to put in your pocket either. So, I find that many times, whenever I can help it, I bag it so that I can find it more easily. Then I leave the bag on the side of the road until my way back so that I can carry it the least amount of time possible. It wasn’t until that first opportunity to experience this that I suddenly remembered being on the trail in Vegas and at the exact same time the phrase “Never judge a man until you walk a mile in their shoes.” Literally!

I gained understanding.

It is very likely that the person on the trail left the bag with every intention of picking it up on the way back. –And they could have lost their way, forgot, or just have not passed back through yet. Who knows?! But at that moment, it was such an-aha. “Next time you think something is crappy, ask yourself if it’s your judgment.”

I softened.

I know it sounds so cliché but that catchphrase was one that has stuck. It has caught me time and again in little ways that I didn’t realize that my judgment was along for the ride. You know like when your child, or spouse, or stranger does something to irritate you. Check your response. How many times do you judge the behavior because you know what you would have done or what you expected? When you slip up and do something a little less wonderfully than you meant to, or make a mistake yourself, how much do you berate yourself for something you ‘should have done’ or ‘should have known’.

You may not have thought of that one. –But we definitely judge ourselves.

What’s funny is I don’t think most of us want to judge. I try really hard not too and try to see the best in everyone and everything. But I do still drop the ball. There are definitely appalling encounters and we also need discernment. A healthy dose of judgment is needed there. But for the most part, we’re also accustomed to our own environments, our beliefs, and ideas, what we know to be true for ourselves, and our ways- a limited perspective. Our thoughts fly out in nano-seconds and they’re often out of the gate before we recognize them for what they are. More often, we’re only left with their weight and burden. Then trying to analyze or understand what is making us so heavy.

The truth is we’re all on this journey through life and trying to make sense of it. At times, we even lose our way. But we’re all also still learning. The judgments that we can carry about anyone or anything, including ourselves, can often be much more detrimental to our spiritual health, than any excrement on the outside. And if insight and understanding was the solution to end it, then perhaps, when we find ourselves at that crossroads, or even feeling weighed down, it’s a prompt to ask a question. Hopefully, that catchphrase will catch you. Then you can go deeper and ask other questions, even if it's only ‘what can I learn from this moment?” So that you can gain your own understanding.

Proverbs 4:7 even tells us that ‘It may cost you all that you have but get understanding’.

Because it is that important. 

It is worth asking the question(s).

You may look crazy or sound crazy in the process but the right answer will help you put the heavier things down. Then you’re more freed up to celebrate the journey.

P.S. If you liked this post and would like to go a little deeper on this subject, there is a book called 

"Change Your Questions, Change Your Life" by Marilee Adams that you may also appreciate.

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The Beach

I’ve been thinking a lot about the beach this week. More specifically, the many grains of sand. (Ahem, dirt.)

Each grain their own, sometimes varying in hues and texture, and some of them you can see right through. Individually, so small, one may not even notice.

Yet people flock to see, to rest in, to find comfort, and even heal, in the presence of the shore.

In contrast, what are we but flesh and bone? Blood and matter. Heck made from the dirt ourselves (Gen 2:7). And what do we often see when we look at ourselves? Just that, dirt. -Or perhaps something that doesn't amount to much more than that.

Sometimes we even trip over the smallest parts of who we are; like that goofy thing we do, the thing your family teases you about, the skill that you just can’t seem to master, the feeling of plainness, or complete awkwardness. Being different.

Other times, we completely fixate on the weakness or the dirt; like the addiction, a mishap at work, like a poorly executed project, a conversation gone wrong, a wound, and on and on...

Michelle Chalfant said ‘If we are human we have issues, stop thinking you can avoid them.”

Actually, we all have many issues. Great and small. Varying hues. Dirt on many levels. In the physical, like our bones, and in our soul.

Yet the beach doesn’t cover up who or what it is and nor should you.

And just like the shore, God sees the whole picture. Every.little.grain.of.sand.

2 Corinthians 12:9 “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Grace must be the equivalent of knowing exactly what we are. Not just knowing THE ONE thing. But knowing EVERY LITTLE thing about each of us and somehow collectively forming all of those details and idiosyncrasies into something that he calls good (Gen 1:26), and valuable (Matt 10:31), and takes delight in- even singing over (Zeph 3:17).

Yet you and I still try to work dirt out of something- THAT WE’RE MADE OF.

It is not in our ‘trying harder’ to be ‘better’ or ‘different’ that pleases God. It is in our sincerest, seemingly ‘humiliating’ but instead humbling weakness- laying ourselves bare before him. Stretched out like the shore. Sometimes piled up like dunes. Not condemning or making excuses for who or what we are, not bartering because we can’t really make it up; not hiding beneath the waves of life but offering our entirety, especially our weakness, and ALL of it, to him. So that he may use it as He pleases.

And the way that He holds all things together (Col 1:17), allows his power to work through us. He takes those ‘grains’ or ‘specs’ and somehow molds them- transfiguring us -perfectly- into something beautiful.

The next time you start to beat yourself up for something or talk down about yourself, I pray a little salty air washes over you and reminds you that you’re only getting caught on one grain, you’re missing the rest of the beach. Then slip off your stuffy ole uniform, let your bare feet feel the ground (literally), take a deep breath, and relax. –We’re all a little more pliable that way, anyway.

Be shore of it!

(I just couldn’t resist that last one….) Have a blessed day.

In the Potter's Hands

Recently, I've been praying about ways that I can be more intentional about sharing Bible stories, Faith, and activities with the kids. Of course, the kids have Bibles and we read devotions but trying to talk specifically with the kids about it is still occasionally awkward for me. I'm a little all over the place about it and I'd really like to be more in a natural habit. I know that we can do more things together as a family too while weaving scripture right into the moment. -Making it more fun and memorable. I probably do this more than I think I do but being more intentional and maybe deeper, is my goal. 

So, as we planned for vacation I prayed about opportunities. Since we were going to the beach, I thought about sand castles and how it could be a great activity for the Potter's Clay. 

Yet you, Lord, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter, we are all the work of your hand. Isaiah 64:8.

The first day on the beach we laid out our belongings. As the kids ran off to the water, I stretched out on a sheet and looked to my right only to discover that the family next to us had a giant pile of sand. I chuckled a little because I have no idea how to build a sand castle, aside from the blob that comes out of a store-bought castle container. Even then, the contents never resemble the mold. This pile had to be a result of a family that knew what they were doing! -And the good Lord planted us right next to them! 

So, I enjoyed watching them work with their material. I was touched because occasionally as the Father carved and smoothed his design, pride for his creation would seep out into faint curls in the corners of his lips-- turning upward into an, oh so tiny, smile. You could tell that he enjoyed his time spent with his family but also in the making.

In fact, hours were spent doing so before anything was even recognizable. I couldn't help but imagine that God probably had a similar joy when we offer up our lives to His molding.

Deuteronomy 32:10 even calls us the apple of his eye and Proverbs 3:12 says that the Lord corrects those he loves and in whom he delights in. 

-->Delights in<--

And delight was exactly what could be seen on that man's face from time to time, even if I couldn't grab it in a photo. 

Unfortunately, we couldn't stay until the family was finished but I spoke to them about where they might post their work. Later, I looked them up on Instagram (@HeddenTheSand) and located this picture of the finished piece.

WOW, Right???  It turns out they've been doing this for many years and have participated in several competitions. Too cool!

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The above information alone is probably enough for the story with the kids but a few days later we decided to try a little something too. While we worked, I continued meditating on the similarities of faith and being molded. It jumps around a little but maybe something will speak to you and encourage you on your journey.
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In the beginning, God formed man from dust in the ground. - Genesis 2:7
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At first, the kids wanted to make a square sand castle. We made three layers and joked about how it looked more like a cake. We even talked about icing it with seashells. Rachel teased us that we'd been working for an hour and it didn't even look different because we had to keep straightening up the sides. But sometimes evidence and even the fruit of our faith is like that too because the foundation is being made right. It can take time. 

Hebrews 11:1 tells us that faith is the substance of what we hope for, things unseen. 2 Corinthians tells us to keep our eyes fixed there.

We knew that we were making something. So, don't lose heart, if what you're working on isn't obvious yet either.
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Unsure of what to do next, I started making stairs on one side, while the kids tried to tidy up their end and figure out where to put the moat.

As it turns out there were many small components to our plan. It was pretty challenging to have that kind of detail, in this medium, on such a small scale. So we switched our plan to a sea turtle and it was so much easier to mold when we simply lopped off big sections.

In the same way, Hebrews 4:12 tells us that the Word of God is living and active. It's able to separate soul and spirit, joints and marrow. This world might offer us a lot of 'canned molds' that often frustrate us as we try to fit our lives into them. But offering our life directly to our Father's hands often molds us 'free of form' and sometimes just as considerably.
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Contrary to what you might think, water was our biggest helper here! You might think that it would mess up your design, or 'change things too much,' but with a little practice, we learned how to apply it.

It actually made it easier to mold the sand as it filtered through and packed things together. Just the same, Isaiah 12:3 says that with joy, we will draw waters from wells of salvation.  JOY because we've learned of its power, its usefulness, its necessity. It changes everything.
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Every now and then we had to get up and stand back to look at what we had, to see if the proportions were even close enough. --What needed tweaking?

I can't really think of a specific verse here but in Ecclesiastes, King Solomon is looking back on his life. He recounts things that he got fixated on during his life that never brought him much joy, even though he thought he wanted them. -And he had everything!

In many ways, we're like that too. -Stuck on details and things that make us weary or frustrated when there is another way that we can live.  Why wait until the end and look back with regret-- step out of the traffic, take a view from God's angle, then adjust where necessary while you still can?!
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As it turns out, the place where I put those stairs seemed strange at first but later they were easily converted to the Turtle's head. You might call that intuition but 1 Kings tells us that the Lord's voice is similarly in a gentle whisper. Sometimes following his leading won't make sense or we can even write it off because it is spoken so softly.

But learning the heart of God, helps us recognize his voice. Meditating on his Word guides us and brings us peace, instead of the distraction and frustration that we mentioned earlier.
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And can we just admit that sometimes those 'distractions' are simply our trying to keep life neat and tidy? -Either by perfectionism or not dealing with something at all?!

While we were making the turtle, we were IN the sand. My legs were covered, arms were covered. I may have even had to bend in angles that I'd prefer not to in a crowd.  Our aunt said, "I have no idea how you can handle all of that sand on you."  -But when your vision and your faith are in line with your heart, it's easy to see the value of jumping in.

--And not only that, personal faith IS messy!
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You know we found a picture later on that Instagram page that had instructions to make a sand castle.

It said for the best result, you needed to bring real tools and dig deep down to the water table. You'll have to do some hard work and not care what people think, or what you look like, and deal with some things that you might not ordinarily prefer to.

But remember that alignment that I mentioned earlier? Well, Hebrews 6:19 calls it hope and tells us that it is an anchor for the soul.

You see, when we can see God's hand in our life, it gives us assurance and strength. Not only does it keep us grounded when things get hairy but 2 Corinthians 4:7-9 says that 'this hope' keeps us from getting crushed and perplexed when things get hard.

And all I can think of us how sometimes we're as fragile as sand. -So easily destroyed and moved but letting that water in, is what gives us strength. It holds us together. While we might be different, it's not really about the chemical of the sand or our physical makeup that has changed; it is really the power of the Lord at work in our life.

And Nehemiah 8:10 tells us just that when he says 'the Joy of the Lord is our strength.'
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Friend, I don't know how any of our lives will shape out but I can assure you of this- Where ever you are struggling in life, apply some of the living water to it. Don't be afraid to get your hands or heart dirty. Don't be afraid to make a mess and let others see. --Heck invite them to join you in the making and figure it out as you go.

Little ladies joined us from the next tent over.

Heck, it's kind of like this message thing with the kids. I tried to talk while we were molding the turtle but I never had all of the kids at the same time.

I tried to talk about it at the dinner table but every time I've tried that it was hard to have a conversation. I just wasn't sure if I should ask questions or tell a story.  The questions seemed too forced and difficult. (Probably because our mouths are full and we were starving.) So, we stopped and now that this is finished, I will try it as a bedtime story as I've done before from other trips. I trust with a little practice, we'll find a flow for sharing and inviting; building out from there. Feel free to use any parts of this for your own. :)

Until then, take a note from Paul-- wherever you are, continue in the goal of faith and getting to know the Lord in a new way. He too will continue His work in us. -Isaiah says he's already got us in the palm of his hand. Surrendering-- now that is up to us.

We had to go and couldn't finish the face.

In The Garden

I've been trying to get in the habit of reading a devotion in the afternoons and spending a few minutes outside each day. Ya know, 'getting rid of the day' before settling into the night. It's amazing how quickly we can take on responsibility and pressure that doesn't belong to us. And it's equally amazing how only a few little minutes can reset the tone.

Long gone are the days that 'I need a drink' to unwind. -I mean I probably need to unwind more often, but for the most part, I've been sober for almost three years now. (Minus very few exceptions.) The new habit didn't necessarily coincide with exchanging the old but multiple adjustments allowed for one thing to completely replace another- or perhaps what I hoped the other would provide.

Last year, I started tinkering in my uncle's garden. I've never been a gardener before. But it seemed a shame to let something so beautiful sit unused just because he wasn't with us anymore. Especially, when he loved it so. -LOVED US so, and being able to provide for us, through it.

This year, it's been calling my name, and I couldn't wait to get started. Having this place so close to home is easier to find my way to. I can't tell you the peace I feel simply being near it. A new significance already seems to be blooming. -What a way to honor him, by making something of it.

And as my mind wanders over the details that I'm sharing, I can't help but notice that you have to look at your past and where you've come from, to see where you are and how it lines up to the path to your future. There is a connectedness in progress and in becoming.

I sat on a bench in the garden tonight and read the devotion below. I originally intended to share the pictures with a short caption, but again the connection evolves... into something else.

The truth is, I see a lot of similarities in my uncle's garden and our Fathers. Out of his great love for us, he hath provided and promises us his own kind of rest under that provision. In a sense, HIS realm is your garden. We may have to choose to leave one thing in order to accept another. But even the smallest change on our end can produce something so unexpected and so gradually in the making that you might not notice. --And then all at once you do.

Again there is honor in believing that he is able to do just what he promises. You may produce something as a result of your time there with him but somehow all the while it is YOU that does the growing.
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“THEY will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” ‭(‭Jeremiah‬ ‭17:8‬ ‭NIV‬‬) -Thank you Father.

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I supposed you can save the pictures below for tomorrow. Will you find another 15 minutes?

Certainly, you could spend your quiet time anyway that you feel led to but if you need a little direction, try this: Go somewhere outside. Read a devotion or passage of scripture. Then set a timer and put the phone away. Do nothing. You can take a picture before or after if you'd like but it can't be part of the timed session. Do no other task. If you pray during this time, I would even limit that to only thanking God for the things that he's taking care of. 

Blessings to you!

Washing Seashells

At first, I was a little disappointed to have to cancel my plans for the day. I had been collecting things to have an art day/Bible message with some neighborhood kids. But as the time drew near weather reports were only predicting rain. I was forced to give in and cancel.

As it was, most of the week I had been fighting a cold, and by last night and this morning, I was spent. There were many things that would not have been finished. It was hard not to be thankful for the break even if I was disappointed.

Several friends had given items for the kids to use in their creations. One of which was a tub full of shells that my friend Sue had collected off the western coast of Florida.

By noon the sun was still shining, and there wasn’t a drop of rain, so I called to ask what she used to clean them with—Thinking that maybe I could muster up enough energy to still make use of the day. By the end of the call, Sue and I decided that she would come over. We’d have a mini lesson with the kids and neighbors and see what came of it. 

I remembered a friend and Pastor named Terry that would frequently have children bring something to church on Sunday and make a lesson out of it. I always admired his attempt, especially never knowing what the kids would bring each morning. 

I was sure that today, we could do the same. Then I prayed for the words to share.

Sue’s enthusiasm touched me. She insisted that she bring her own things to clean with. She told the kids the name of every shell and little stories about where she found them. The kitten's paw, a treasure chest, olives, whelks, lady slippers, the list went on. She tried to make music out of the worms and ‘swooshed’ the dead sea grass.

Every time she rinsed one off, she would ooh and awe over how much more it sparkled; pointing out the true colors, now revealed, that were hidden beneath the elements.

The love gushed from her as if she’d made them each herself. I was reminded of Isaiah 43:1 

“…I have called you by name, and you are mine.”

The kids crowded around her sorting, lifting, rinsing. –Scurrying to the table to dump one bowl, only to fill it again with new wonder(s).

When the tub was empty; each shell washed, and drying, she packed up her things and headed home.

I attempted a mini Bible lesson, although the kids were too busy, literally--claiming their plunder. Next time I might wait until we’re by the fire to have the story, I thought to myself after.

I talked about the pretty ones, how sometimes, it’s what we all go after. Even on the cover of magazines and who we friend at school. The ones that look perfect and unmarred. Yet every.single.one is made by our Father. –Knit together. By hand.

Each shell once had something living in them just like our bodies still have something living within our shell of skin.

We talked about how some might have housed better filters for the ocean floor. Some were stronger, others were better fighters. –But my favorite is how the broken ones might get cast aside by collectors, but it’s also the broken ones that are used for a purpose (like cutting, piercing, or as other tools).

While the table was full of many that looked similar, each and every shell was unique, just like each person sitting there.

Just as we so eagerly hold each shell and marvel over them. The Lord marvels and loves each of us, no matter how we appear, when we are before Him. Later on, I would find the perfect verse to summarize it.

The kids quickly filled their bags and were well on their way to the next adventure. Painting them.

Then we ate dinner and roasted marshmellows around a fire.

Sitting around it, I couldn’t help but feel like I myself, had been renewed. -Not quite as achy and still congested, sure. But peaceful. Like a good kind of tired. Not from doing or making things perfect with my own hands. But by my accepting what was offered even it wasn’t how I envisioned my plan. -His was better.

It's such a reminder that when we seek to glorify him with our lives, even when our attempts fail, he stands in. Every time that I am willing to accept a variation or a detour, His provision blows my mind. –Like a friend with many treasures.

The verse in Zephaniah 3:17 says it best.

The Lord your God is in your midst;

He is a warrior who can deliver.

He takes great delight in you.

He renews you by his love;

He shouts for joy over you.

Oh Lord, teach us all of your unfathomable ways and to be your grateful recipients and messengers.

Change of Pace and Acceptance

It's awfully hard to try and squeeze in all of the things that need to be done in a day, isn't it? We can wear ourselves out trying to keep that neat and tidy order when the events of life don't necessarily fall the same way. I've been trying to be more flexible with my routine these days and yet still get done the things that I need to do. More importantly, I've been trying to take better care of myself too.

Click image to listen to audio version

For the last few years I've gotten up between 4:30-5:30 each morning so that I can read, write, study or occasionally catch up tasks before the rest of the house is stirring. That time started as just five or ten minutes earlier and eventually grew along with me.

In the last year, I've also been able to add exercise to my morning routine as well. It was another addition that started with just "ten-minute workouts" because I didn't have the kind of time that allowed for more than that. In the same way, that time allotment grew again as I did. I am proud to say that I run about three miles, in addition to some other exercises, three to five days a week now.

But sometimes rising earlier to squeeze things in, comes at the expense of my energy or my mood. I've occasionally been too tired by the end of the day to still feel like embracing it. So, I've been trying to sleep in on the weekends and even a little later throughout the week. I can't describe how hard this challenge has been for me. In so many ways I feel like [by resting more] I am selling myself short or lowering some standard, but I don't know where that thought comes from.

To do this means rearranging things, and having to be creative about how some things get worked in. For example, the Sunday before last, because I slept in, our whole morning routine was practically void. Sunday has recently become the sports day for both of our older kids. We also go to church. The whole day is full and the only things that got done that morning were a few chores before we left.

But later while Sophie was at volleyball practice, Jackson and I went out to the playgrounds behind the school. He played, and I ran circles around each section of the field that he was on, in order to squeeze in a run but frequently stopping to help or answer questions. It was at a much slower pace than I wanted but it allowed all of our needs to get met and still leave time to watch Sophie play.

[This next part will sound a little off topic but hang in there.]

As we approached the third playground, I was appalled and saddened to see that it looked like an entire team or two played a game of basketball, then left the empty bottles of two flats of water and a flat of Gatorade after they drank it. Trash was everywhere! I understand accidentally dropping a bottle or forgetting trash. -But seriously the water bottles and Gatorade were all the same kind, and there was an empty trash can twenty feet away. It was obvious that an entire group just walked away. Other piles of trash we're also left, almost as an "acceptable response" to the main message. How could that many people think that it was okay to just leave their garbage?

So, I stopped running and enlisted Jackson to help me pick it up.

Jackson was eager to do so, and we made many trips back and forth from the court to the trashcan. He was trying so hard to squeeze it all in- in one load. He kept dropping bottles. At one point I look up, and he had a water bottle hanging out of his mouth because he'd grown tired of picking the same one up when it wouldn't cooperate. [Zoom in] Of course, I yelled for him to spit it out. haha. But he was so cute and glad to take part. I had to take his picture first.

To his excitement, he found a dollar, a race car, a baseball, a sweatshirt, and a pair of gloves. While you and I know that there aren't always so many instant rewards of our good deeds, it easily became an opportunity to talk about just that. That sometimes when we are obedient and/or 'do the right thing', we too might be surprised with what we find. Not to mention the good we feel when we take care of something, even when we didn't have to. -or that 'the good' can still be for our own benefit, like a clean place for us to play, even when it's someone else's garbage.

I've been thinking a lot about that day, and I share it not to gloat about what we did or because I think that I do so many awesome things. There is a real tendency in me to be legalistic, and I need the reminder that's coming next. Perhaps you do too. -Which brings me back to my point.

You and I can exhaust ourselves, getting up earlier, trying to do too many things, going too many places, being on too many boards or counting only what other people approve of as a 'qualified' offering of our time. -Sometimes even neglecting the best ministry that we have [our families]. Or like Jackson, growing frustrated because we're trying to carry too much. We can even allow ourselves to feel guilty when our first, second, and even twelfth contribution is all that we have to give.

Sadly, sometimes we never even start something like getting up early to read our Bibles or begin an exercise routine because in our mind we're already comparing ourselves to what we think our ideal version is. We know the dedication that those folks put into it and 'we ain't got time for that' so we tell ourselves that our tiny offering won't make a difference.

But take a look with me at Mark 12:41-44 for a moment. It's a section about the widow's offering and it reads:

Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents. 

Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, "Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything- all she had to live on."

You can also read on to see sections where Jesus talks about doing for the least and being trusted with a little, and having the faith of a mustard seed (which is another small thing). You might even recall his miracle about the fish and loaves. It is often the littlest examples that God does the biggest things with- in the Bible and in our lives.

In fact, Jackson probably learned more from me in the fifteen minutes of picking up trash than he would have in a year's worth of me doing something else that he might not get to be a part of. -And I might be too busy or too tired in other scenarios to remember to go back and teach him 'the why' later.

I am a hot mess in so many areas but the most successful changes that I have made in my own habits, have been because of my smallest changes that gradually added up, later on.

Friend, it's okay that you don't have enough time to do what all of your friends do. It's okay that you don't have money to buy as much or the means to provide the same contributions.

Matthew 6 reminds us not to look too far ahead. Do what you need to for today, which might look very different than your preferred routine. Offer your very best in whatever situation you're in. -And do what you need to do to keep YOUR lamp burning.

By being able to renegotiate time to fit in what matters, we're able to change the pace and sometimes see not only more of the details but also find more of the rewards ourselves.

Un-coincidentally, it's the same in our relationship with Jesus and time spent in scripture. It's usually the one nugget we glean that makes the biggest difference, instead of hours spent cramming the lesson.

So my question to you is, if God can accept and make good use of our smallest efforts, why can't we?

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I hope this message speaks to you on some level about an area of your own life. Maybe you need to dial something back in order to embrace more or perhaps jump in, even if it's only a quick dip. I challenge you to go for it and in whichever direction you go,  I pray that it becomes a fruitful effort. <3