Writer's Block

Written 04/04

I keep waiting for the words
but then I get distracted
and so I drift to someone else
and wait for a reaction

and soon I'll get a feeling
like I know what I should say
but when I put a pen to paper
the words just fade away

So I smoke another cigarette
and pour myself some tea
and pick up another letter
that was never meant for me

and soon I'll get a feeling
and I know for sure it's on
but before I get the pen again
the damned old thing is done

Eh, I'll pick it up anyway
and scribble down some words
just for spite or to provoke
a piece to ditch this curse



Note - I just felt the need to point some "old me". -posted 06/2015

Carnival

Written 05/00

It's been a long day,
spent almost entirely
missing you

Corn dogs and funnel cakes
great things to share
but your mouth wasn't there to reciprocate...
My lips noticed.

I'm strolling home now
somewhere between Garden and Main.
(Still blinded by the stage lights.)
Yet still able enough to see,
The lovers loving 
behind the Big Easy and
every other group has a couple
inside exchanging some
similar gesture(s)
I wish you were here.

The road home was long and silent.
I wonder how your day was.
Did you spend even a fraction of the same time
missing me?

I pretend that I'll go home
and open the door
and see you like the first time
and act out every lover's movement that I saw.

Knowing that instead, I'll crawl into
this big cold bed alone
and dream of you.




Note - I just felt the need to point some "old me". -posted 06/2015

Need To Quit Smoking

Written 04/00

With you there was always something to admire.
(As if you weren't enough)
There was the sunrise
after a late night
And the autumn leaves
for their change in color
Half-lit cigarettes because they were reminders that not just someone
but you loved me.
-And the stars because they made even the darkest
moments beautiful etc...

But that was then;
the sun. leaves, stars and love
they all fall
-And cigarettes...
they just remind me.





Note - I just felt the need to point some "old me". -posted 06/2015

Lightening Bugs

Written 05/99

I watch the gray faint lines
the paper burns
the words I promised to you

A thousand smiles flash
the warm feelings we ate
despite our true intentions

Lightening bugs
for children's toys
we wore our own behavior

Our desperate bodies
trapped in separate jars
that loudly clanged together





Note - I just felt the need to point some "old me". -posted 06/2015

Box

Written 01/98

My life consists of;
Rambling words
and sympathetic piles of paper.
But words that I've forgotten how to say
to anyone they ever mattered to our involved.
A mouth, I cannot use.

Feelings that change
like the tide,
the seasons,
the weather.
-Maybe a closet of faded disguises
or simply a child that
can't remember the difference between right and wrong.
Either way,
a heart that hasn't been served justice.

Vacant aspirations,
a put off list of 50 things.
Dreams like photographs in an album,
lost beneath the clutter of my closet.
A mind without directories of rules and reason.

People; like the days of the week,
they pass on with some sort of routine.
And I follow unmoved
A body that's lost all function.






Note - I just felt the need to point some "old me". -posted 06/2015

Prove Me Wrong

I'm not really sure why but here lately I've been wanting to post some old stuff. -And when I say old, I mean almost 20 years... Maybe it's so I don't forget where I came from. Maybe it's to draw me back to a poetic form of sharing words. We shall see...

written 12/97

I believe that "sincerity"
     is a bull-shit term for liar.
-That "trust me"
     is only an invitation to prove every reason why I shouldn't.
-That "I love you"
     is something that people just cash in.
-That silence
     is something said before good-byes.

Prove me wrong.
Show me that you're an outcast to all of my angry theories.
Sit with me and say nothing.
And keep coming back when I say nothing in return.




Note - I just felt the need to point some "old me". -posted 06/2015