Walking the fence

My father and I do not get to see each other often. We try to talk regularly but via phone, is never as good as being together.  When we are together, we start all over catching up. We repeat summaries of everything that’s happened since our last visit. We pretend that we're joke tellers and philosophers. We interpret songs and try to unearth the meaning of life. Before we know it, it's the wee hours of the morning and we're discussing faith. Not just faith but almost always, the very subject of "walking the fence".

Sometimes our discussions are about a specific habit, hobby or attitude that might go against something that we say that we believe. Other times it's more general. -Perhaps an overall discussion about how one of us might not be ready to begin or pursue the next step with God because something in our life is either holding us back or might seem out of sync.  -We don't want to appear to be 'on the fence'.  After all, we're either for him or against him, right?

Here lately that subject has weighed heavily on my heart. What a huge misinterpretation that really is. I mean, are we ever good "enough" to come to God? If we had to wait to reach a certain place or level before coming to him, wouldn't that go against the very thing that Christ says he died to give us?  Romans 3:23 says that "we ALL fall short of the glory of God". Verse 24 says that "we are ONLY justified by his grace". Accepting him only takes a moment of faith but –becoming- like Christ is a LIFE LONG process.

Really, our entire relationship with God IS like walking on a fence, isn’t it? Sometimes we lean a little to the left and fall off. Other times we lean a little to the right and fall off again.  But when we can take our eyes off of ourselves and look to him; we gain a sense of balance and then finally momentum. It’s in God’s redemption of our personal failures that we develop confidence in him and learn that we can trust him with anything. Allowing the Holy Spirit to work in our lives, no matter how many times we have to start over, is how we come to understand what mercy really is.

I can’t help but visualize a child learning to ride a bike.  The new rider never gets on without training wheels and rules to the road. Even with those precautions in place, we never send the rider off on their own. We’re usually found right alongside with arms outstretched, chanting “You can do it!” It hurts us when they fall or wreck but at NO point, do we ever stop loving them because they fell.  Why, that even sounds absurd. We RUN to their rescue and pick them up to sooth them or encourage them to try again.

Over time, the child begins to remember those general guidelines. We can stand back and allow them to navigate within the boundaries that we have given. There will always be consequences. But there will always be freedom as well.

I think the word is a lot like those training wheels and rules.  It’s always there to refer back to. It never changes or waivers.  It’s up to us to decide when and when not to apply it. Christ is always there to catch or encourage us. But it is necessary for us to fall a little in order to understand why and how those boundaries apply to our life and how to appreciate all that God can really offer.  No matter what though, he never leaves us. Whether we’re a new rider or walking the fence, HE is our biggest champion. We just have to find the courage to believe…

Dad and I (about 1985)