Earlier this week, I read a post on a friend’s page. My friend is going through a trying time in a relationship and his post was left, most likely, in the heat of the moment. Usually, I just ignore those posts because they are none of my business. I understand the feeling that he was expressing though and know that there can still be goodness beyond that point if he can find the strength to push through.
The bible tells us repeatedly that feelings are misleading. ("The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure." Jeremiah 17:9 NIV84) I personally have felt the power of being able to believe that love was there, even when it wasn't felt; and because I pushed through and overrode my feelings, I was able to experience a restoration. - In more than one relationship. I wanted to encourage my friend that there could still be goodness beyond whatever hurt or anger that he was feeling now.
Either way, for whatever my reason or motive, I chose to reply on his comment. But the passion for my point took over and the words flooded from me.
To make matters worse, I really didn't know his situation. I had a fact wrong. Some of his friends took offense and jumped to his rescue. (With good reason) James 3:5 says that "even a great forest is set a fire by a small spark." Instead of soothing anything, I had now started a new blaze. I promptly apologized because that wasn't at all what I intended.
We all need to control our tongue but as a "Believer" I need to control my own tongue even more so. God’s word is soothing and refreshing. I am called to encourage and share. However, instead of inviting my friend to talk, I just unloaded a bunch of words. No matter how genuine they were and/or what the sentiment is behind them, the point is completely missed because there were too many, too fast and I, more than likely, blindsided him instead.
Ironically, I was trying to encourage my friend about resisting feelings and yet I didn't resist my own "feelings" to push a point... While I do believe the words I left; I didn't even ask him what he needed.
It reminds me of a silent and cool stream. On a hot day, I might be drawn to drink or swim, to sooth and refresh myself. However when you put a certain amount of force behind that same water, it can be used to cut, strip and destroy. My words were much like that of a pressure washer instead. Completely unleashed.
I hope that my friend either never felt the threat or quickly forgets it. However, for me I hope that it always serves as a good reminder. The next time I feel that "flood" coming. Am I inviting others to be refreshed or will my force push them away.
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Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. (James 1:26 NIV)
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