I learned a pretty good lesson over the weekend about faith, anxiety & boundaries... I was given an opportunity to give a children's church message on Sunday in front of the congregation.
I pushed myself far too much in other areas throughout the week and way before Sunday rolled around, I was too exhausted. I just never could catch up. I rehearsed the message a great number of times and for the most part felt pretty confident that it would be OK. Until I sat on stage and my brain just stopped working... It was a trend for most of the weekend though. Sunday shouldn't have surprised me.
While I do have notes about what I think happened and what I could do differently next time, I also have a good number of things that are positives. Most of all I can't help but find the irony in the subject of the message and what happened while I was up there. The theme of the message was about not being held captive by fear. By reaching out and challenging yourself, you will not only build faith but you will also allow a little bit more of the Holy Spirit in. Then as I stood on stage, (challenging myself) I almost felt consumed by fear. I just could not seem to hand it over to God in that moment. Maybe we all needed a real example of what that looks like. haha. I will be honest, I think I did need that experience.
Thankfully, I believe that God works in mysterious ways and no matter what expectations were or weren't met, I believe that he can use that experience for me and maybe -hopefully- some others in a really powerful way.
BUT having said that-
I am getting ready to challenge myself to lead some bible study classes again. This time without relying on other material to get me through the classes AND to focus on a book of the bible instead of a topical study like I am used to. I want as much of my wits about me as possible dedicated to his word and giving him glory this time. I don't want to give energy to things that could be good when I could invest it all in something that I know is good. If that makes sense.
I'm praying about it but I think that I might not blog for a while. I am not even sure about the "Tuesday Challenge". I may continue on with that one post and I may post notes for the Bible Study classes. As for anything more than that; I think it could distract me from another task that I want to be more committed to.
Feel free to check back and if you're interested in studying Esther, let me know. I may have several locations that you can join from.
This week's challenge: Consider areas in your life, hobbies, jobs, roles, etc. Is there something that you could fast from in your life (even good and Godly things) in order to give more to God somewhere else?
Scripture for the week - John 3:30 - "He must become greater; I must become less."
Do you have a testimony about this challenge or a suggestion for another one? I'd love to hear it! Comment here!
Picture Credit [then modified]: http://www.superbwallpapers.com/nature/sunrise-over-the-mountains-14501/
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