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| In the fall, two years ago. Funny angle. |
I'll never forget that first morning though. I was given an old beach cruiser. It had a rusty fender and made a little squeak every time the wheel passed a certain spot or anytime that I hit a bump. Having a sound effect to my pedaling made the intensity of it pick up. I felt a little like the witch from the Wizard of Oz. Except, replace her pretty little hat for my spotlight. haha.
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A scene from the Wizard of Oz.
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Anyway...
It had been years since I had touched a bike- as in, I am not even sure I rode a one in high school. I can't forget standing up to pick up the pace, and my thighs started quivering as if my legs weren't familiar with supporting me. How quickly the bike seemed to pick up the unstable rhythm... So, I just as quickly sat back down. It was obvious that certain muscles hadn't been used in a long time. If I hadn't been in my own childhood, I might not believe that there was ever a time that you could not get me off of one.
Yet, I practiced standing and riding; cruising and speeding. Then one arm free at a time. As it turns out "hands-free" had been forgotten too. My mind wandered through the air, and I thought of a statement that I've heard by preachers, about how faith is a muscle, and it's up to us to work it. But more so, I thought about how similarly with the bike, when you're going uphill, and things get hard, you need to put a bit more muscle into it and stand up.
...or stand on the promise....
I let that linger a day.... a week.... almost a year... then two. In fact, I think about it often when I ride. And since that time, I have gotten stronger and more stable too. Sometimes our spiritual life is just as 'shaky' and difficult to work out, isn't it?
I mean, you can practice prayer and even meditation on scripture. While you are growing in these areas, there can still be 'chatter' happening behind the scenes or around the new lines. You know the stories we tell ourselves. Before or after- whether or not we realize it, we're bookending both sides of the verses that are supposed to set us free.
That chatter can be anything; questions, doubts, self-righteousness, self-condemnation, fears, and judgments. There's so much noise happening inside our head, discernment can be a true mind bender when we need instruction, can't it?!
New exercises can always reveal a place of instability. Which voice is the one you're supposed to pay attention to? How often do you apply it? How can you say you ARE one thing when you feel completely opposite. The way we listen to and respond to each is also an exercise. The one you practice is the one you strengthen.
Take heart, I'd like to also give you a few examples. -But brace yourself. This might sting a little.
1. Worry - The minute you start to worry about 'how YOU will do this or say that'- put your eyes on God. Don't get so caught up in 'how you,' that you can't see 'how HE.' I don't mean you shouldn't consider your words, prayerfully plan, or take a step of action. YES, PLEASE DO! But fear, anxiety, and worry will grow rapidly if you let it. Then it can immobilize you. You have to practice using that muscle of what God says and practice looking at who He IS, more than who you think you are and what you are not.
He must become greater. I must become less. John 3:30
2. Weakness - Life happens. Any given circumstance can feel too big. When you want to crumble and feel overwhelmed. I dare you to worship. Scripture tells us that HE is our strength. I will let you do your own research here, but it's been said that our praise will usher the Holy Spirit's presence. If that is true, and if He brings strength, why wouldn't we want to fill ourselves with Him?
The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him. Psalm 28:7
3. Emotions - Emotions can get the best of us, can't they? Things break in our home, and we get frustrated. Someone wrongs us, and we get angry. Someone gets something you want and there's jealousy. What about the 'I don't wannas'? They might be the worst of all! Even unexpected and thrilling 'whims' can get us so excited that we lose our focus. Each situation like this that comes along may not be anything that you care about in 20 years or in the new creation. So why let your emotions get the best of you now?
Be on your guard. Stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. 1 Corinthians 16:13
4. Insecurity - When you feel like you can’t do something or when someone criticizes you or when you’re reminded of your past, don't shrink back, CLING to your future. What about when you're given an opportunity to try something that you've never done or to reinvent yourself? Your initial thought might be, "I can't..." or "I've never..."
BUT MY RIGHTEOUS ONE will live by faith. I take no pleasure in the one who shrinks back. - Hebrews 10:38
That's a tough one, isn't it?!
5. Words - Can we just talk about what we talk about for a minute? We might tell God what we hope for, but we tell all of our friends what we're afraid of. Or we don't even try to see what God might be doing in the situation that seems too big for us. So, we just keep repeating the same old, worn out story. I mean really- the things that we don't want can get more attention in our conversations and in our captions, than the God that we say that we believe in. I could quote verses like Proverbs 18:21 that tell you that there is the power of life and death in our tongue. But something else has recently struck me in my study time.
In the beginning, when God created everything, we see that He spoke it into existence. If you go back to read those verses, a few lines later you will also see, "and it was so" or you will see a summary of what was created. I am still trying to absorb why we see that. But because it made it to scripture, I know that there's a significance there. He first calls it out. Then he restates it. So, I'm asking you to challenge your own words. If you know that there is a Godly solution. Maybe you even know what that solution is. Call it out and/or restate about your life or situation. Give your words to that solution only and act accordingly. Thus bringing glory to our Father.
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You know, we could go on naming things like this. As I scan back down that list, each area that I have named is an issue of trust. And most of these issues start in our mind! You know Proverbs 23:7 says as a man thinks in his heart, so he is.
That's probably why 2 Corinthians 10:5 says that we are to take EVERY thought captive and make it obedient to Christ!
Hebrews 2:5 also tells us that we are only a little lower than angels; crowned with glory and honor and EVERYTHING has been put under our feet. (Like a pedal. haha)
And it doesn't say only the men or the women. It doesn't say only the left-handed people instead of the right-handed people (no matter what they might tell you.) **wink-wink** The verse says mankind.
and
Jesus died on a cross so that WHOEVER was willing to believe in Him, could be saved. John 3:16
AND (This might feel like a tangent but hang in there.) You don't have to die first to see the benefit of having Jesus in your life now.
Have you ever noticed in the Lord's prayer that it says 'On earth as it is in Heaven." And at the end of that same chapter in verse 33, it says 'Seek first HIS kingdom, and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well." That part appears in the section titled 'Do not worry, ' and it's about basic living needs.
And again, it doesn't say only for black or for white. East coasters or West coasters.
If YOU are willing to believe in Him. By making Him Lord of your life, that means you put his commands, and even his whispers, his righteousness, his power, before your ___________.
When YOU lift the Son of Man, you will find the boldness of our heavenly Father- not just in your life but also the peace and comfort and certainty that he promises, IN YOU. -On this earth. In the life you're living now.
[end tangent]
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Much like getting on a bike again or for the first time, you have to push through the tremble.
My thighs were shaking when I pushed on those pedals and going uphill made it so much more obvious that I didn't have the strength that I thought I did or hoped to have. Practicing faith has so much felt the same way. These examples that I give to you are some of my most private lessons.
It will feel wobbly and even uncomfortable. You might feel like a fraud, or like your boasting (and sometimes you might even do that by accident). There will even be times that you might wonder if you've moved over to la-la land because this is not what you're used to practicing.
But as you PUSH through, that muscle of faith will grow. You will find strength and perseverance in Him. -And alas, freedom!
Friend, my testimony is this. YOU CAN trust what the Word says. - That in itself is a promise.
You can practice anything you like. Whether you choose to sit down or stand up and ride, is up to you.
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