The Samaritan Woman

First, I’d like to pray. Father God, you know where each of us sit. Why someone has tuned in and why I had something to say. How you have worked that out, and will work that out, in each of our lives. This is a long message, and so I pray that the whole thing is a prayer and that the words wash all the way down. –And that you do what you do best, and rearrange things to that they do what they need to in each of us. Amen.

The Samaritan Woman is one of the more well-known chapters in the Bible. If you haven't heard about her, grab yours now and follow along with me in John 4. I’ll do a quick recap while you find it.

She was an outcast because of her race and because she is a woman.

So, let me give you a little background on the race part. I am going to read you the commentary from my Life Application Bible.

When the Northern Kingdom with its capital at Samaria fell to the Assyrians, many Jews were deported to Assyria, and the foreigners were brought in to settle the land and help keep the peace (2 Kings 17:24). The intermarriage between those foreigners and the remaining Jews resulted in a mixed-race, impure in the opinion of Jews who lived in the Southern Kingdom. Thus the pure Jews hated the mixed-race called the Samaritans because they felt they had betrayed their people and their nation. They set up an alternate center for worship on Mount Gerazim to parallel the Temple at Jerusalem, but it had been destroyed 150 years earlier. The Jews did everything they could to avoid traveling through Samaria. But Jesus had no reason to live by such cultural restrictions. The route through Samaria was shorter, and that was the route that he took.

Jacob’s well was on the property originally owned by Jacob. It was not a spring-fed well, but a well into which water seeped from rain and dew collecting at the bottom. Wells were almost always located outside the city along the main road. Twice each day, morning and evening, women came to draw water. (During the cooler parts of the day.)

 Switching back to my notes.

The Samaritan woman also had a past, and her current lifestyle played a role. And when most women travel to the well in the morning and evening to draw water, she went at noon to further avoid the crowd that you would expect to find her in. – Adding to her ‘differentness.’

One of the biggest things that I want to point out here is that people will always have something to say about you and your life. People didn’t like her for all of the reasons above. And you know as well as I do that there are things that happen to each of us that makes us want to avoid the crowd or hold ourselves back. There are also things that we do to take care of ourselves that cause separation. And things that happen to us that force it.

People will condemn you and persecute you for any of these things. So, it can be hard to believe in a God that simply wants to love us and let us know him. But is exactly what we see that in this example.

While there she meets Jesus at the well and they have a very short discussion, and she comes to believe in him. She then goes back to tell the people in the town about her experience, and others come to believe in him also.

The conversation is SO simple that it’s hard to see how that can change a person. Yet the text, at least for me, in this chapter, is SO hard to follow and understand. (You may even want to take a moment to read it before I begin.) But it spoke to me, and I want to share it with you because it really is ‘that easy’ and it’s that important. The more that I learn about it this story, the more I love it. Please tune in.

Let's begin

The first six verses in this chapter talk about Jesus’s journey to the well. So, I'm just going to jump right into verse 6 where Jesus is already at the well when she arrives. In verse 7, the dialogue starts with him asking her for a drink. “No hi, how ya doing.” He asks her to give him the very thing she came after.

There is a little irony there because many times throughout our faith journey, the thing that we are seeking –or NEEDING rather, will lead us to the very place that we meet God. And sometimes we are also asked to ‘give it up’ or ‘let go of it’ first so he can give us something else instead.

Whether or not she is socially unacceptable, she further changed her schedule to avoid dialogue with others. Now here is this man asking her for something.

So I’m going to guess that she is startled by the conversation. Instead of granting his request, she replies by describing her unworthiness.

“You are a Jew, and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans).

Now stop right there- 

Women are particularly guilty of this. We're either putting ourselves down or reminding others of our past, status, or limitations. “I can’t do that because I don’t know how.” “You wouldn’t want me because I am no good at that…” (And I have been guilty of this myself.)

Regardless of whether or not he ‘should be’ talking to her, it didn’t stop him. And He only asked her for water.

The conversation seems a little cryptic because Jesus replies to her question in verse 10 “If you knew the Gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.” 

I mean what does that have to do with the well? Didn't he just ask her for a drink? He didn’t even answer her question.

But it’s not cryptic at all. He’s responding to who she is in that moment when she asked the question. She's the one who pointed out her issues. I think what he’s really saying, is that if you knew the gift of God, you wouldn’t struggle with feeling less than and you wouldn’t worry about what you can’t do. You would be able to rely on me and have confidence about where you’re at. And the last thing that you would be worried about is race, rules, or what everyone else thinks.

Never once in his sentence does he mention her Samaritanship, or her gender, or any of those specific things that she might be worried about.

In verse 11, she reminds him again of another limitation. “You have nothing to draw with, and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water?” Then in verse 12, she asks him if he’s greater than Jacob, who built the well. 

He replies, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in them a spring of water, welling up to eternal life.”

My commentary reminds us that you can learn more about the references to Jesus as a fountain in verses like:

Psalm 42:1 that describes our thirst for God- As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God.

Isaiah 55:1 Where God tells all that are thirsty to come to him.

And Jeremiah 2:13 that reads: “My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water.  – What a reference to our ego and our stubbornness, trying to do things our own way, without God.

And in Psalm 36:9, God is called the Fountain of life- For with you is the fountain of life; in your light, we see light.

So he’s telling her, yes, you do have a physical need for the water from this well to satisfy your fleshly thirst. But something else is parched... Is it your mind, because you stay up at night wrestling with thoughts? Is it your spirit because this life just seems too complicated and too hard? Is it your heart because it's too worn out from trying or numbing? If you can just come to me, the water I will give you will become a spring of water bubbling up to eternal life. You might still have a physical thirst, and you might still have problems, but your spirit will be satisfied. You will get rest. You will feel refreshed. Not only that, but what I tell you will become a story that you will want to share many times to encourage others. …welling up, bubbling over… and many times what you and I memorize in scripture or study privately on our own, will bubble up later on when we need it most – and GUIDE us, just like it said in that last verse, in your light we see.

Who doesn’t like the sound of that, right? So, in verse 15 she asks him where she can get that water, but you can tell she’s not quite getting it because she is still thinking about how this well for the real water, makes her keep coming back for more.

Then he says in verse 16, “Go call your husband and come back.” To which she replies, “I have no husband.” 

He continues, “You’re right when you say that you have no husband. The fact is that you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you said is quite true.”

Now you might read that and think, ooooh snap- he just called her out! And in a way he did. -But not to condemn her. If he was going to do that, he would’ve done it when she first questioned why he, a Jew, was talking to her if she was a Samaritan. He wanted her to know; he sees her. He knows her name. He knows who she is and her private thoughts and what she’s been through. And all of this living water that he’s been talking about is for her too. He knows who he’s talking to. 

Of course, you might wonder why he called the 6^th guy her husband if he wasn’t… Why would he do that if he knew her…?  Personally, I think he was trying to be courteous to her. --To give her dignity by not calling her out. He lets her confess it to him. THEN he lets her know that he already knew. 

And if God sees hearts, who’s to say she hadn’t already married him in her heart. But either way, again, he is the gentlemen. He accepts her status and acknowledges her where she is right now.

And have you ever had one of those encounters, either before you have committed your life to Christ or in the early days of your faith, where you bump into someone that brings up church or God, and it makes you squirm and or straighten up a little? You may want to acknowledge your experience with it. Maybe you talk about your parent's faith. Maybe you talk about why the church doesn't work for you. Yet, you either don't know the details or you don't want to get too deep in the conversation, so you try to change the subject a little.

Well, I think that's exactly what we see in verse 19 when she says, “I can see that you’re a prophet. Our ancestors worshiped on this mountain, but you Jews claim that the place where we must worship is in Jerusalem.” 

She's making a statement. She’s heard of him and had some family that “went to church.” But is she also asking a question? Where do I worship?

I mean speed up to our time. Is it this church or that one? -This denomination, or service, or ritual? WHERE can we find this God and what are we supposed to do?

He responds to her by telling her that one day she won’t be in any of those places to worship. As for right now, none of that really matters. You’re going to a church and going through the motion, but you’re missing the whole point. You don’t know what you need to know. –or who you need to know rather. BECAUSE-

If you don’t know God (and his gift), you won’t really be able to fully worship him anywhere. And if you do know God and his gift, then you can worship him everywhere! -On the mountain, in Jerusalem, and at the grocery store!

He goes on to say in verses 23-24 that we should worship in spirit and in truth. What does that even mean? 

Well let me tell you, it took me the last five years to figure that one out. But it’s huge. So please hear my heart.

You can go to all of the church services you want to. You can listen to podcasts. You can memorize scripture, write it on sticky notes, and hang it on your wall, read your affirmations and tell yourself that you’re going to do better, or be better. But if you don’t listen to that internal voice, whether it’s your intuition, or feeling your feelings, or being really being honest about who you are, and where you’re at, and what you need, speaking your truth, then you are only ‘following the rules’ and your legalism will BIND you.

You have a spirit so that you can have a one on one, personal, relationship with God and others. Don’t get me wrong. We need religion. We need the Bible. ‘The rules’ are there to show us the things that cause us harm and hurt others. But we can stick so close to ‘the law’ of things that we dismiss how it impacts the spirit of those involved, causing greater harm.

Your spiritual practice or cultivation (whether that’s meditating on the word, or still meditation, journaling, talking to God, or listening to God, or feeling your feelings, etc.)—Whatever your spiritual practice is, it is JUST as important as knowing what the Word of God says. Let me clarify. I don't believe that there is anything more important than knowing God. But if you don't know who you are, how can you be honest or transparent with God about anything? And because he does know you, if you don't, you may not accept the guidance that you hear.

Not only that but if you don't spend time alone, in spiritual practice, or getting in touch with yourself, you may become too comfortable doing what everyone else is doing. And friend, you weren't meant for that!

As for the 'truth' part of that statement, John 14:6 says that HE (and only He) is the way, the TRUTH, and the life. 

John 8:32 says that the TRUTH will set you free. Whether that is the truth of your confession or learning His truth. Both can set you free.

You must worship and practice your faith in both ways, in spirit, and in truth, because what is born out of the center of those two, is the personal plan, direction, and will for your life!

Balance.

I cannot tell you how important that is… Please spend some time pondering this – at your own well. Ask yourself about some of the things that you are carrying. Take a moment to look in your pot. Pull the junk out. Ask yourself is there any ‘truth’ in it. And if there’s not, what can you change to get it in there?

Just the same, if you’re trying to do all of the things that you ‘should be doing’ you will be filled with so much shame if it doesn’t match what is in your heart. It will be so binding, blinding, and exhausting. That is living out of fear and codependency, not from a place of love.

Isaiah 61:1 says that he comes to bind up the brokenhearted and to set the captives free and to release the prisoners from their darkness.

Your time at the well with Christ, should be acknowledging and liberating you or healing you in it.

In contrast, if you haven’t even considered the law, or what the Bible has to say, maybe that’s part of the reason that you keep getting hurt. You need some parameters in place and better boundaries. And the book ‘Boundaries’ by Henry Cloud is incredibly refreshing. There is so much scripture in that book but explained in such a healthy honoring way. You and I are made to be vessels that carry refreshment to others, and if we aren’t taking care of what we’re given in our own physical stamina, then it will be so difficult to deliver what is needed or hold on to the strength and peace that God offers.

Oh, I hope you heard what I wanted you to know.

But back to our passage. He just told her to worship in spirit and in truth.

In verse 25, we see that she doesn't know either side. She's still talking about him. Not to him when she says “I know that Messiah” (called Christ) “is coming. When he comes, he will explain everything to us.”

She’s heard of him. She just doesn’t know him personally to be able to recognize or identify him. 

And let me tell you, you can experience so much condemnation over this whether it's from yourself, the devil, or even others that and you might be tempted to give it [this faith thing] up because it’s just too confusing. But can I tell you something? 

Even Mary –his own mother- had trouble recognizing Jesus after the resurrection because she was so consumed in her grief. (See John 20) She didn’t expect to see him. 

What about us - we also have struggles? Sometimes they consume us and distort our perception as well. Do we expect to see God? Would we recognize him if we were at that well with him? Would we even give a little credit to that whisper in our heart and test it – Just ask God if he’s really there?

So WHEN she starts thinking about the Messiah coming, what he might do, you know what happens…? See verse 26.

He makes himself known. 

Then Jesus declared, “I, the one speaking to you—I am he.”

Gosh, and there is such timeliness to that. I mean consider it. If he announced that he was the Messiah when they first met at the well, she wouldn’t have given him the time of day. 

I mean, she’s avoiding everyone else because of her weakness. She would have run as fast as she could, either because he was a crazy man or because who wants to let God see all this stuff. 

So, he does as he always does. He meets us where we are. He acknowledges her “junk” first and then introduces himself. She won't have anything to be ashamed of after she finds out who he is. Because he already knows it!! But he doesn’t reveal himself until we start to give him a little possibility.  <3

So then, in verse 27, the disciples come back. If you have your Bible, look at verse 28 with me because there are a few more things that I want to point out. 

"Then, leaving her water jar, the woman went back to the town and said to the people, "Come and see a man who told me everything I ever did. Could this be the Messiah?” They came out of the town and made their way toward him.

The first thing that I want to point out is that she left her water jar. I mean, did she even fill it up? What he had was so good; her other needs seemed less important ...kind of what like he promised, right? 

Then she went back and told people that the man “told her everything that she ever did.” 

What struck me about this line was that he only told her about six relationships of hers. Something personal. Something that she was most likely ashamed of. Something that made her feel separate or not good enough. Ponder that thought for a moment. 

I know part of me thought; gosh we’re so dramatic at times. "That was everything...?" 

But look deeper. 

How many things do we let define us and be our everything? This can be good or bad. Is it past sin, failures as a parent or partner, accomplishments, what others say, being the one to fix everything, etc.? God sees everything about us, but his gift goes to work, right where we need it most! In our heart. In what we hold and what others may or may not know. 

Second, let’s just talk about transformation. Not only did she leave her jar at the well. –The thing she came after was suddenly not as important as telling others about him. But this is a woman who avoided people. And suddenly she couldn’t help herself from going back to tell others.

If you continue reading, in verse 39, the chapter says that many came to believe because of her testimony. All she said was, “He told me everything that I ever did.” Don’t we worry that we have to have the right words or the correct answers or some crazy, profound experience to talk to someone else? Especially when it comes to our faith! We don't! We just get to talk about what he means to us and how or why we got there, etc. No embellishments. No grand finales. Simplicity. The truth… He does the rest.

But I do believe that God does want to be crazy profound with each of us! And isn't there a little bit of the Samaritan woman in each of us too? 

If you circle back to the very first verse; their dialogue started when God asked her for the very thing that she was after. [the place of her struggle].

What is it you are after? What is it that you need—that keeps you up at night and causes your anxiety or worry? What is that you can’t seem to stop carrying?

Well, it starts by first letting it go. All of it.

Don’t over-complicate this. It is exactly as it sounds. Remember verse 28 said she left her pot and went back to town.

You and I will find a thousand ways to hang on to a little bit of something, either because we don’t understand or because letting go can be so hard. And part of the struggle is our human need to be in control and to know the next step. Part of it is the way that we’re raised and what we believe. And sometimes what God tells us to let go of doesn’t sound at all like what God would say. –Maybe it seems too odd, or the thing doesn’t even seem like it’s that big of a deal or something God would even care about. Other times we’re addicted, or we don’t even know that there is another way because we’re doing the best we can with what we know.

You don’t have to know the reason or even how you will accomplish it to let it go. If God is pressing something on your heart here, I encourage you to pray, journal, fast, look for confirmation, rest, talk with others that have experience here – and spend some time in prayer. Just you and Jesus at the well.

If there is something that he is asking of you, it may be unusual, or difficult, but trust that it may be a life-changing experience and the greatest testimony that you’ve ever had.

I continue my prayers here for you. May God bless you, richly for any step you take toward him.

Thank you for listening.

**Note: This post was originally written in 2014. I began updating it in 2018 but there were a lot of changes, so I just rewrote it for this post.  Unfortunately, the originally post isn’t exactly the original but here it is anyway, for the record. ;)