Creative Correction | Bible Study

Description of Content: 

Creative Correction The Bible Study: Extraordinary Ideas for Everyday Discipline - Leader Kit by Lisa Whelchel addresses a wide range of discipline issues and provides practical, biblical, (and at times, humorous) approaches! In this six-session, women's Bible study, Lisa uses hundreds of examples from her own experiences, and those of parents across the nation, in dealing with everyday discipline issues such as lying, laziness, tattling, selfishness, and disobedience. This group study is chock-full of refreshing, innovative ideas to help parents win the discipline battle by offering effective tools that can produce long-term results. Lisa's own parenting experiences, combined with insight and ideas from other parents, help teach moral values such as responsibility, self-control, and kindness.

The Leader Kit includes two DVDs and a Member Book. The seven DVD segments provide an introductory segment, plus six teaching segments led by Lisa Whelchel as she blends practical, biblical insight with humor in how to correct behavioral issues.

Details about the class: 

Who: Anyone can come to the study but the target audience is parents. I do expect more women than men to attend but this class is open to anyone that is interested.

What to bring: Covered dish, friend, bible, books and anything else that you might need.

When: Monday Nights, starting 6/23 at 6:30 pm. The study will start at 6:45. This will allow parents a few minutes to fix plates, socialize and get settled. 

Duration: There are 7 sessions. Class will be at least an hour but I might know the exact length until after the first study. I expect that it should end about 8:00.

Where: My House. My address will be provided to interested participants. (FYI, I do have cats and dogs if this is a concern for you.)

Books: Both Books are optional but they might make following along easier.

Member Book - 11.95 (Suggested. Most members will get this book.)
Companion Book 14.95 (Additional reading. Usually only a few people will get this book if they have time to read it.)

Dinner: Covered dish, please bring something.

Childcare: Mackenzie and Lavonya will be there to help with the kids. I'd like everyone to consider giving $5.00 to pay them for their assistance but only if you're able to. 

Total Cost: The only cost is the expense of the book(s). The recommended $5 per night for childcare and the expense to make dinner. Don't let cost stop you if you're unable to pay.

Interested?
Please click here to let me know that you are interested in the study. There are a few questions that I would like you to answer so that it will help me plan. By answering the questions, you are not committed to anything. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me 804-815-8076. Thanks again and have a great day!

Making It Special!

When I was a kid I used to spend all of my summers with my grandparents. My Dad was stationed in Virginia when I was young. All of our family, on both sides, was from and remained, in Florida. At the beginning of each summer I would go down to visit. My grandparents would take turns swapping me in a parking lot every weekend until summer's end. Then I would finally return home.

While each summer seemed magical in its own way; one particular summer stood out more than others. My grandfather's brother came down for a visit. I didn't know "Uncle Albert" or his wife, Lucienne very well but Uncle Albert had a camper and we all piled in to go for a ride. I didn't even know where we were going and at the time it didn't matter. I was able to ride on a mattress above the driver's seat and look out funny windows during the entire ride.  I never once had to buckle up! Uncle Albert suddenly became the coolest person that I had ever met! -At least in that moment. 

After a long drive, we pulled into the parking lot of Sea World. Being an animal lover, I loved it before we ever went through the gate but it would truly become one of the highlights of my childhood. We admired fish and bought trinkets at the gift shop. We ate food with funny names and watched as many of the shows as we could fit in. My favorite part was the seal show. Not only for their cuteness and silly stunts but there was a significance to this show that would soon make it hard to beat. 

Toward the close of the show a seal broke out of routine, swam to the edge of the pool and climbed out. He headed straight for the audience and went up the first tier of stairs and then the second. The instructor was calling his name to return to the pool. The crowed studied the stray as he ignored each request and continued to climb higher and higher.

In my mind, I am thinking "Oh please come to me. Come to me!" I am sure that I am bent down, holding my hands out and calling his name, just as earnestly as his instructor was calling. As the seal climbed the third tier of steps, he answered my plea. He came right to me and planted a big fishy kiss on my lips.

The crowd awed and I melted.  Though it was only a moment, time paused and I was in love. I patted his wet body and tickled his whiskers and begged for another smooch. As quickly as he came, even faster he went, as he slid down the stairs back to the pool; as if to slip in line and say "Hey master, here I am. See, I never left." I was certain that he sought me out of the crowd and I was sold. I felt special.

OF COURSE seals became my favorite animal. This was the.best.vacation.ever. At any opportunity I was ready to return to an aquarium, secretly hoping for another moment just like "the one" to take shape again. Years later, I still think of that day and smile. 

Psalm 119:64 says "The earth is full of Your loving kindness, O LORD; Teach me Your statutes."

As I reflect on that verse, it holds so many nuggets for me alongside such a simple story. The promise of each day. The beauty of life and all of God's creatures. The way that we bond with time and others through different experiences.

I also think of the way that we treasure only some of our moments. Sometimes we spend so much energy trying to recreate something that we've already gotten to experience. We leave no resource available to the "new". In our efforts of trying to get to the 'one spot' again, we wear out the very thing that used to thrill us. Yet what if I had another "grand experience" before this moment and I missed this one altogether because it couldn't possibly compare to one before it?

On a sadder note, how many of our more painful moments are held onto with such regard?  ...The one big sin, the one big loss, the one time that the 'one thing' happened. By holding onto those experiences, we also allow ourselves to feel special. In doing so, we isolate ourselves to our own interests, away from God and others.

Throughout the bible, scripture asks us to be the salt and to win others over. Rather than looking for moments that make us feel special, Philippians 2 asks us to shine like the stars instead. -Burning for God in such a way that we simply shine within each moment. I just can't imagine anything more special than "shining".

As I challenge myself to draw closer to God, I can't help but ask myself- Do I wake up seeking him just as earnestly as other moments because time with him is my favorite time of all? Am I open to each gift that he sets before me, no matter how it's packaged? Do I see the journey there as a gift within itself? Am I so excited about where I am that I can't help but embrace anyone that is near me? Is this the.best.opportunity.ever? 

Some of those questions strike me. Convict me. Thankfully we aren't paused in time. Once God created us, we became a living soul. We are free to move forward and well, live. But for which experiences are we living for?

Paul considered everything a loss when compared to the greatness of knowing Christ. I too have found that every moment that I am in tune with the Holy Spirit, is equally meaningful. When I combine that fact with knowing that he is always with me. I can add him to every moment of every day. Then any opportunity can be a moment that is hope-filled and joyful.

Theodore Roosevelt said that "comparison is the thief of joy". Finding joy is not about picking, choosing and waiting only for the right experiences to embrace. It's remembering what to bring into (God) and give of (Self) in each circumstance that makes the difference.

Psalm 118:24 - This is the day that the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Obviously the picture above isn't me but it IS terribly cute, isn't it? For continued reading check out the book of Philippians. It's only 4 chapters. Try spreading it out over the week and meditating on it. Journal some of those special thoughts and pray about what they might mean to you.

Self-image/Self-esteem | Notes (week 11)

Note to Readers:

This post is a list of notes in direct response to homework from a Bible Study called Conquerors. Because of that, it may be a little hard to follow if you weren’t in the class. Week 11 covers the subject to of self-image and self-esteem. I have posted the notes here for several reasons. 

• The first is that it is easier to share in this format. 
• Second, I think that I will reference it (and make changes to it) many more times in my future.
• Third, I think that someone else could find something useful in it. 
• Fourth, I started this blog last year. It was truly the beginning of me digging into myself and my faith. I took a lot of steps in previous years that helped me build up to it. However, throughout these notes, I will have many references to this blog where I feel like God was dealing with me about this subject LAST YEAR.  Because there were so many references, it also seemed to me, like these notes belonged with all of the other posts.

I too, struggle with my own self-image. While I have started accepting and forgiving myself; I still tell myself that I am not qualified or that I don’t have enough experience to help others. This list of notes is long but I DO have experience here. I pray that the following is received more as a testimony instead of a list of rules or a list of “do as I do”.  Like you, I am still a work in progress

The changes to my self-image and self-esteem have been bi-products of the changes that I have made in my relationship with God. He has given me the confidence, strength and trust to take responsibility for myself and my actions.

Click here to view the notes.

100 Good Things About Getting Older

1. Well compared to the alternative, getting older is awesome! Ba dump bump.
2. You become tall enough for the ride.
3. The longer you live, the more you can imagine other points of view and maybe accept them.
4. You’ll experience love and heartache and hopefully appreciate the difference.
5. You can stay up as late as you want.
6. You can decide to do things differently.
7. For me, motherhood has become the coolest thing about being older.
8. Becoming a grandparent might be even cooler.
9. Discovering the way each of those roles, change you.
10. You get to see the world from a child’s view. (Which made me ask the kids what they thought was the coolest thing about getting older. See their replies below.)
11. You get to be older than someone else. -Ethan, age 8
12. You get to work with your mom one day. -Sophie, age 5
13. Ava! -Jackson, age 2 (speaking of his 1 year old friend.)
14. I am surprised that he didn't say that you could have another "nack" (aka snack). That too IS a perk and it's his favorite past time (aside from thinking about Ava). Go have a snack!
15. You're a wee bit closer to meeting Jesus! 
16. You can drive where you want.
17. You've found someone to learn from
18. and then someone to teach.
19. You can appreciate the gift of hindsight.
20. Ooh discounts… AARP anyone?  …. Not I. At least not yet.
21. Retirement.
22. We get wiser.
23. The getting was good…
24. If getting there was half the battle, now you have to determine what to do with the other half...
25. Emotions are more stable
26. Another opportunity to celebrate.
27. Okay, the presents…
28. And you can have a party!
29. We have less to prove.
30. We can start defining/redefining priorities...
31. Hopefully, committing to more of them.
32. All of the historical moments you can witness.
33. We take time to reflect, reminisce, remember...
34. The loss of memory, can keep things new… and maybe even exciting.
35. This also makes keeping secrets a bit easier...
36. If you’re Scarlett, you still have one more day to think about it…
37. You’ve learned from a mistake.
38. You’ve hopefully learned to forgive someone
39. and then found yourself forgiven.
40. Less hormones anyone!?
41. Gray hair is the crown of splendor. Psalm 16:31
42. Well, what a blessing to even have been born at all. 
43. Sometimes, we find ourselves born again.
44. We toughen up,
45. but mellow out.
46. Naps.
47. We worry less about what others think.
48. You can give yourself permission.
49. Dinner is at 4...
50. Some of your favorite clothes just might come back in style.
51. Thankfully, you also get to see some clothes go out of style! (men's skinny jeans...sigh)
52. You made it to the top of the hill.
53. You can stroll down the other side if you want to... or lie down and roll.
54. You don't have to make your bed anymore.
55. You might get new teeth.
56. We learn which rules to break and which ones to keep.
57. The same with things to save and things to purge.
58. At least once you'll get to be the leader, Simon or Polo. 
59. You might even get to be the "boss" in real life.
60. The power we attain when we end up serving instead. 
61. "Someday you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again." -C.S. Lewis
62. Antiques increase in worth. ...hang in there!
63. Can I just say "thankfully, no one saws us in half to count our rings"?
64. Medical science and technology keep improving.
65. The longer you live, the more likely you are to see an eclipse, a good sunset/rise, a blood moon, a meteorite shower or shooting star.
66. You can only build your legacy while you're alive.
67. The older you get the less peer pressure you have.
68. You can design the future.
69. And share your past. 
70. The day is always new.
71. Age is always measurable, even if you need a calculator to count it.
72. Beauty is a state of mind and not the body.
73. You can make another wish,
74. or you can make it happen. -unknown
75. "Growing old is compulsory, growing up is optional." -Bob Monkhouse
76. God is always with you.
77. A cane can help hold you up, knock something down and extend your reach. (And if you put it on top of your head, it will make you taller, which I hear scares bears away). I think I might get one.
78. If you need a hearing aid, silence and sound both become optional.
79. Hair growth slows. I certainly hope this means that we can shave less.
80. We shrink as we get older. I've been trying to think of a positive about this but the only thing that comes to mind is that if you wear high waters long enough, you might grow into them.  
81. At some point people begin to excuse your blunders because of your age... ;)
82. It gives you something to look forward to.
83. You get to spend a little bit more time with someone you love.
84. No one can make you do anything if you don't want to.
85. You can find a prescription for almost everything that ails ya'!
86. Eventually you're old enough for 'it'.
87. You can develop a collection.
88. One day you might find out it's worth something.
89. People only laugh when you pass gas in public when you're little or when you're old.  You may have passed the first window but the second one is approaching.
90. If you forget, someone will usually remind you.
91. Keep it up and you just might honor your mother and father.
92. You're never "too old" for it.
93. Things become less important.
94. You can have dessert before dinner.
95. There is a purpose for each of us and as long as we're living, there's something to do.
96. You can still pass through a cemetery without staying.
97. All of the wonderful photo opportunities.
98. I can't help but think about periods where people didn't live much past their thirties and forties. Here, I am feeling like I am just now getting my head screwed on right. I am thankful for the opportunity to live beyond that.
99. Eventually, you reach the end.
100. You can come up with #101.

100 About Me

1. My parents did not name me Reginald. You'd be surprised how many people ask me that. I was however, almost an Erika.
2. Everyone in my family calls me something different though. (Shanny, Lucy, Rooster and more...)
3. I am an Aries.
4. When I was in high school, one of my favorite shirts was a No Fear t-shirt that said “The older I get, the better I was”. I do feel like the older I get, the better I am. :) Thank God!
5. I was surprised by how much I loved motherhood.
6. I married my high school sweet heart.
7. I like who we are now, way better than who we even thought that we could be then!
8. I quit smoking in 2008 and still want a cigarette!
9. I think that I was 8 when I wrote a letter to Bon Jovi and asked him to marry me. His stupid fan club had the audacity to intercept my letter and even send back a reply, inviting me to his "club". sigh...
10. I could go to school for forever to learn about different hobbies, like pottery, photography, glass blowing, etc...
11. I own a guitar but have never played.
12. I love a good excuse to get all misty-eyed.
13. I think my best feature is my heart.
14. I can't think of any surgery that I would like to have. I like me the way that I am. I just need to work out.
15. I cannot find time to work out.
16. I feel most like 'myself' when I am inside out.
17. I can't kill anything, except ticks and mosquitoes but sometimes even that makes me sad.
18. You should see my flailing ballet when I am carrying spiders to a safe place. They are so creepy.
19. I would be a vegetarian if I wasn't raised to eat meat.
20. Steak is my favorite food. ...The crispy fat around the edge of a rib-eye makes me burst into song.
21. When the kids were babies, the only song I could ever think to sing to them was "Danny's Song" by Loggins and Messina. I forgot the words to every other song.
22. Ethan would always cry the moment I started because I sing that "awesome".
23. Sometimes I drive like Bo and Luke Duke. ...at least in my mind.
24. I used to write poetry in high school.
25. Occasionally, I dabble in writing songs.
26. I think that I don't finish them because no one would want to hear me sing them. haha.
27. I hate using acronyms in place of words. (Ex: LOL and TTYL). Hence my "haha"
28. I'd like to have a retired animal farm when I am older and open it up as an opportunity for kids too somehow...
29. My bucket list only has about 50 things on it but I've started doing them.
30. The more I learn about God, the more I realize how much I do not know.
31. I feel like I've really come into my faith in the last year. The first big step toward that was fixing my prayer life.
32. There is no going back.
33. I had a small tattoo once.
34. I rejected the ink. It completely disappeared.
35. I hate to have my finger nails painted.
36. I do prefer to have my toenails painted and usually only have about 3 colors that I will wear. 
37. I was a tom boy.
38. Sophie makes me like sparkles.
39. I've even gotten to be more comfortable in dresses than pants.
40. I am a daddy's girl.
41. My sister in law and I truly feel like sisters.
42. I am an only child.
43. I've heard a rumor that I have a half-brother and struggle with whether or not I should find him.
44. I have two of my dogs' teeth inlayed in gold in charms on an anklet.
45. Yet, I am repulsed by the idea of having my kids' teeth hanging along side them. haha. Go figure...
46. I refused to have a DJ at our wedding because Colin and I don't like to dance and a DJ will usually make you.
47. I'd say my favorite flowers are Gerber Daisies and Peonies.
48. But I've REALLY got a thing for trees.
49. Orange, teal and red are my favorite colors.
50. My favorite bible verse is: "Above all else, guard your heart, for all you do flows from it."-Proverbs 4:23
51. I try to live by it.
52. One of my favorite quotes is: "This life cannot be lived apart from what it must forgive." -Robert Creeley.
53. Another is: "When you live your life believing that everything primarily depends on you, you become enslaved to your strengths and weaknesses." - Pastor Tullian Tchividjian
54. I have a list of affirmations that I read almost every day.
55. I had to adjust them when I overheard Sophie's version.
56. I LOVE getting older!
57. My favorite book is a collection of poetry by Rod McKuen titled "Alone".
58. Brown liquor makes me mean. -I guess it's a good thing that I don't like it.
59. I was always a beer girl but had to put that away too. I've been sober since 2014.
60. I was disqualified from all branches of the military for sleepwalking and eczema.
61. I'm afraid of leaving the country.
62. And going on a cruise ship.
63. My favorite singer is Van Morrison.
64. Jackson's middle name is "Van" after him.
65. I cried my eyes out at a Counting Crows concert.
66. No one was more surprised than me when I reacted that way.
67. I was crushed when I learned that I had a peanut allergy.
68. However, I prayed like the dickens that it wouldn't be dairy. Whew!
69. I think I might foster or adopt when my kids are older.
70. I am looking for ways to volunteer with my children. 
71. I believe in the "more the merrier"
72. I was so relieved to pass up deciding or trying to control who could and could not get along. "Come if you want to and stay home if you don't" is much easier to manage.
73. I can't tell you the last time I had an entire day to myself alone.
74. It's a secret covet.
75. But I figure that there's plenty of time for that later!
76. All of my family lives in Florida. I miss them in the most ridiculous way! I wish they lived here too.
77. God gave me the second best possible family to be close to.
78. I love that we live on a "compound".
79. I struggled with what item should be first and last on this list and if the order reflected anything about me. 
80. I don't care which way the toilet paper rolls or if it's even on the holder.  -As long as there is toilet paper, I am happy.
81. I can be a pretty gruff person but it's usually because I am in a hurry or because I am tired (which makes me want to hurry).
82. I am thankful to be slowing down.
83. I went to over 18 schools between the 4th and 12th grade.
84. When I lived in Key West, some kids and I were waiting for the bus and a dolphin came up. We all walked out in the water and played with him/her until the bus arrived. 
85. I hate pickles and more importantly that their juice contaminates everything.
86. I have about 5 pair of shoes and if an outfit won't go with them, I won't buy the outfit.
87. The minute that you and I make plans, I'm thinking about all of the places that we can eat while we're together.
88. Out of all of my children, I think that Ethan and I are most alike. :) Jackson's budding personality doesn't seem to be altering that status.
89. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.
90. I used to hate holidays so, I started pretending to be excited about them and I started some things that would become tradition. It took a few years but now I am the most excited in our house.
91. I am learning how to embrace who I am, including owning my mistakes and what I am good at.
92. This list is part of that, I'm sure.
93. I am thankful that Colin married me.
94. I have recently fantasized about getting back into my wedding dress.
95. I played center on an all guys basketball team in school.
96. I don't really like chickens all that much but somehow I still collect funky ones. I think mostly because collecting chickens is completely ridiculous. haha
97. I do love and also collect old jars.
98. At this very moment Jackson and Sophie are playing in the rain in the front yard. I look up to see that Jackson has stripped off his diaper, pants and boots and is running through a puddle. For a millisecond I thought about going to get him but I don't because everyone should have mud between their toes, their cheeks and occasionally in their teeth. -Even if the last two happen in that order from the same puddle.
99. I wonder how many people flinched at that and I chuckle.
100. I deleted something off the list because 2 years later it still bothered me.
101. I am trying to give up excess but at the same time I believe that everything deserves a little extra. So here's a bonus!

Another Look At Abortion

This post is just going to be a random collection of thoughts. I will start with my own story and then share some statistics and other resources.  I recognize that not everyone feels the same as I do or even has the same experience(s). 

However, I have been stopped by several people that wanted to tell me that they learned something (from a view that I didn’t expect) after hearing my testimony.  In all of my sharing, I was really only thinking about a post-abortive mother. Yet, the Lord used my story to touch others on the same subject outside of that position.

My hope is that this view can open your eyes to something new in your own thought process about it, no matter where you stand.

Before my abortion

• I thought it would never happen to me. 
• I was Pro-Life.
• I believed in God and had some sort of church background. I was ‘saved’.
• I wanted this baby.
• I was on birth control.

Deciding abortion

• It was more the flip of the switch. SUDDENLY, I was terrified.
• "DO IT NOW BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE" was really all that I could hear.
• I didn't feel like I could talk to anyone. I mean, who do you tell that you are considering an abortion? Is it illegal? Would I get arrested even mentioning it?  I knew it was the unthinkable, so how could I verbalize it?  Who do you tell???  …You tell the abortion clinic. 
• I was afraid to be counseled and the clinic didn’t really try to counsel me.
• I didn't feel like adoption was the solution because I couldn't guarantee that anyone else could be trusted either.
• Once the “switch flipped” I secretly hoped that God would give me a miscarriage, so that I didn't have to be the one to make the decision.
• Although, I could not (would not) cry for help, I secretly hoped that someone else had radar on me and would fight my ambivalence and rescue/support me. Not just by telling me not to do it. They didn’t know what I was facing. I needed someone to support me and show me HOW I could keep a baby in these circumstances.
• Within 48 hours I went from being Pro-Life to being one of those women.

After the abortion

• I felt like God would never forgive someone like me.  He might forgive everyone else’s sin but he couldn’t forgive this one.
• I thought life could return to normal. I would just put this part of my life over in a corner.
• I thought about it more than I expected.
• I felt that I wasn’t worthy of being helped because I deserved every bit of my suffering.
• I couldn’t begin to look at God because I couldn’t even face myself. So I also put my faith over in another compartment too.
• For a long part of my life, I felt unlovable or like something was ‘wrong’ with me.  Having an abortion, gave me a truth to attach to that feeling. It validated why I was unlovable.
• I was afraid that I would never get pregnant again and that I would be a terrible mother.  I was also afraid that any future children might be taken as punishment for my past sin or that I was still awaiting my fate in another sense….
• Later on when I got married, (although it was not his child) my abortion affected my marriage because it still affected me.
• After meeting my living children, I became more aware of how much I miss the child that is not with me.

General Statistics

• 1-3 women will have had an abortion by the age of 45. Shocking, isn't it?
• A woman that has had an abortion is 6-7 times more likely to commit suicide.
• There is a significant increase in depression, substance abuse, and self-destructive behavior (which may include subsequent abortions) for a woman after the first abortion. 
• Teens that have had an abortion face even more alarming statistics for depression and substance abuse.
• There can be physical conditions left from the procedure, even sterilization for some.
• 50% of all women that have had an abortion live in fear of a retributive God.
• There are studies that indicate that more lives are lost to abortion than any other cause of death.
• Only 1% of aborted babies die to save the life of the mother.
• Men aren’t unscathed by the damage of abortion.
• Statistics for right here in Hampton Roads.
• There is even a "Post Abortion Syndrome"

(I should’ve cited those statistics but I originally took them for a verbal testimony. I might go back and note them later. You can do your own research though and come up with similar numbers.)

Everything about abortion is controversial; the statistics, the methods, the consequences. It is hard to read the above statistics though and then think that abortion is safe or a simple choice. No matter what I post or what you find or whether or not it's even legal, the abortion itself is a tragedy. Sometimes that tragedy leads to another later.

Take Aways

• Never say "Never".
• Don't be afraid to show you can help a pregnant woman. Don't wait to do it either. She might now know how to voice her fear.
• By not speaking up, she might take your silence as rejection of her or the child.
• If you recommend abortion, not only is it a sin but you might also be inviting that man or woman to a burden that they can't handle.
• When you become pregnant, your life will never be the same. Abortion doesn't change that fact.  Whether or not, you have the baby, your life may never be the same.
• If you are pregnant or if you want to help someone who is, here are some places that you can start:
• See my "resources page" for our area. If you don't live near me, you most likely have many of the same or similar programs. Most of these links are for government benefits and local connections to food, shelter, medical resources. The ones below will be more specific to pregnancy. If something speaks to you, then I recommend that you initiate getting as much of the information as you can. If you hand her a list like this, it might overwhelm her even more.
• Government Benefits for Virginia 
• Your local Social Services office can help with the above programs in addition to childcare. They might also have additional information about local non-government services in your area.
• The Cooperative Extension also has additional resources but they also have a ton of free classes on topics like cooking, building budgets, etc. 
• Research grants and financial assistance for pregnant women in your state for a variety of needs.
• Education Assistance for Pregnant Women (there are probably more than these.)
• Virginia Department of Health Pregnancy Assistance Fund
• Additional Nationwide Scholarship Programs
• These facilities offer parenting classes.  You can also show you support her by going with her to the class(es).
• Rural Virginia United Coalition
• The Northern Neck Connection
• Classes by Sentara
• Classes by Riverside
• Health Department
• Look for Job Opportunities.
• Take up a collection of infant clothing and needs.
• Pray. Even if you don't know what to say, pray together and open your hearts to God for direction. 
• Provide Emotional support and just be a friend.
• Here are a list of Crisis Pregnancy and Post Abortion resources:
• Crisis Pregnancy Center of Tidewater
• Pregnancy Resource Clinic of Hampton Roads
• Another list of Crisis Pregnancy Centers in VA
• National office for Post Abortion Reconciliation and Healing
• Hope after an Abortion
• New Life Family Services – Materials that I use in my class come from this site. 
• List of resources for Men
• Memorial For The Unborn 
• If you would like information about the Conquerors Bible Study for Post Abortion Healing, please contact me.

And Finally

From the very beginning of all of this, I was afraid. For whatever reason(s), I didn't feel as though I had a voice or a choice.  I absolutely resisted asking for help or even considering what I wanted the outcome to be. I deliberately turned away from God, in an effort to harden my heart, in order to get through this situation. It might not have seemed that way in the moment but in hindsight, I would say that was an accurate description.

After the abortion, I was afraid of speaking out because I did it to myself. I don't know that I knew quite what to think of the situation. I didn't want to be the depressing friend. I think that I was afraid to face what had become my truth. I was afraid to look back at God because I deliberately turned away.

When I took the Conquerors classes, I knew it was what I needed. I knew by the end of it there was an opportunity for me to also lead those classes when the time was right. As it has drawn closer, I still found myself afraid of some sort of rejection or negative consequence. Speaking out for the first time, writing about it here, going public in my church and even in waiting to begin my first class; I was nervous and maybe even afraid.

Yet, I can tell you that when I have considered God and moved forward in what I believe to be his will; he has met me where I was, every step of the way. -And the result has surprised me every single time.

I'd like to encourage you to read Romans 8:18-39. Verse 26 says that the Spirit helps us in our weakness. No matter who you are, the holy spirit can help you. Whether you're helping a friend or if you're the parent trying to make the initial decision. Maybe you need help acknowledging the decision(s) you've already made. Maybe it's in finding forgiveness or owning your truth or helping someone else face their own truth. Wherever you are in your journey, the Spirit will help you in your weakness. 

v37 says that we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. Do not let a temporary spirit of fear result in a permanent sentence. No matter what you've done or where you've been or what you're facing, there is NOTHING that can separate you from the love of God. v39

Fasting | Notes

I've fasted from food a few times. Each time, there was a situation that I needed clarity in. I didn't follow any manuals or seek any physician's council. Which, in hindsight may not have been the wisest decision but they were short fasts and I don't have any health issues.

With each fast, I needed a discerning heart for how God wanted me to respond in the particular situation. Not only did I receive my answer(s), I had peace about each one I was given. I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit every time.

I intend to learn more about fasting this year. I like to make notes so that I can share them as well as remind myself about it later. So, you may want to check this page again later to see if I have any additions. If you plan on fasting this year, it goes hand in hand with prayer. You may find my notes about prayer useful as well.

1. Fasting is an opportunity to retrain your brain.  You and I are hungry every day at different times. We also fester over things that upset us and worry incessantly about things that we shouldn't. Every time that we get one of those urges or that hunger pang, they serve as prompts to pray instead of eating, worrying, festering...

2. Going without is one thing but replacing 'it' with more of something focused on God is really the intent of the fast.

3. You are repeatedly dying to self.

4. For me, fasting seemed to take a lot of the emotional response out of my problem. It allowed me to see the details of the situation instead of being blinded by my feelings about it.

5. Each time that I have fasted, I have felt peace and clarity.

6. The purpose of a fast is to make you "as clean a vessel possible, in order to gain more of the Holy Spirit and discernment". That might not make much sense but alcohol subdues you, caffeine perks you up, other foods can also have various effects; we're just so accustomed to eating them that we don't realize their impact. Not putting it in our bodies, allows us a clean starting point if that makes sense.

7. It is a form of worship. Recognizing that you need God more than a necessity or desire.

8. You will never have dominion over any appetite of your body until you make fasting a regular part of your diet. - Fred Michaux, Pastor of City Life.

9. Fasting isn't only about food. In fact if you check out Isaiah 58; It is labeled "True Fasting" and never mentions food.  It talks about the importance of checking the attitude of your heart, so that the things that you do or give up don't cause your to be bitter about doing them. It also acknowledges the importance of loving others, building up the body of believers and also fasting from your own tasks in order to honor the Sabbath. Consider fasting a tool to dying to self in any aspect.


Resources

The following resources look interesting to me and are what I will be using when I begin to dig deeper. This was an easy place to store them for access later. May they be a blessing to us both!

Fasting Can Change Your Life - Interviews & Testimony's about fasting

The Beginner's Guide to Fasting, Elmer Towns

Fasting for Spiritual Breakthrough, Elmer Towns - This one looks at several fasts in the Bible and what they were used for. -

This link looks like a pdf study guide that goes with the above book.

A free link with some more info.

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"And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.  And I will be found of you, saith the LORD." Jeremiah 29:13-14