In this post, I'll be sharing a little testimony but also a little instruction from the lady who became a pillar of salt and a blind man named Bartimaeus. If you’re struggling with change or wondering why you can’t move forward, or if you’re not making the progress that you’d like, check out this post. I hope it helps and encourages you wherever you are.
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First—know that if you haven’t read it before, Genesis 19 it is a disturbing chapter. (This is the chapter where we see Lot’s wife. Sadly she isn’t named. So, I may just call her ole Lottie.) We can look at our TV’s and talk about ‘how bad the world is getting’ and see plainly that even before television, there were corrupt people. We can also see that a lot of potentially innocent people may or may not have been at the mercy of the wicked ones. I am not going to delve into that chapter now but you do need to at least know that ‘some stuff went down’ before Lot’s wife became a pillar.
Lot happens to be the main character in this chapter. You can read more about him in chapters 11-19 of Genesis. Here in Chapter 19, he ran into two angels in town and invited them into his home so that he could feed them and show them hospitality. The scene turns ugly when some people from the town find out about Lot’s visitors. This led the Angels to blind “the bad guys” and then they help the Lord destroy the place. –As in the little town known as Sodom and Gomorrah.
But first, the Angels told Lot to get all of his family, his wife, and their sons and daughters, and get out of dodge. This is where Lot’s wife comes in.
When he [Lot] hesitated, the men grasped his hand and the hands of his wife and his two daughters and led them safely out of the city, for the Lord was merciful to them. As soon as they had brought them out, one of them said “Flee for your lives! Don’t look back and don’t stop anywhere in the plain. Flee to the mountains or you will be swept away.”
Lot persuades the fellas to let him go to another location that was closer to him so that he might be able to reestablish himself in. –But in verse 26 good ole Lot’s wife, just can’t resist the urge and-
“Lot’s wife looked back and she became a pillar of salt.”
Well then…
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Commentary in my Bible suggested that she turned back to look at the smoldering city. Clinging to the past, she was unwilling to turn away completely. Then it asks you to consider what might be holding you back? You can’t make progress with God as long as you are holding onto pieces of your old life.
I don’t know about you but personally, in my own life, I can tell you that there were some things in my past that I only wish that I could burn up. -Like things from high school or middle school. Many of them haunted me for years. There was unforgiveness, hurt, and embarrassment. You know- those crazy things we did when we were younger. (Gah).
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Here we see that Lot and his wife are offered a transition or a way out but instead of moving forward she is forever preserved with the label ‘stuck in the past’.
Sadly, that is all that we get to see about her. The rest is left to us to piece together.
But there’s a little bit of her in all of us, isn’t there? Here are a few things that I see from my own life that have caused me to stumble the same way.
The first thing that I see is fear.
Being too afraid to step out and try something different. The truth is, I didn’t even know I was afraid. I relied comfortably on my own life experiences as facts. If I hadn’t been something before, then it didn’t quite make sense that I should become it now. Only, I didn’t realize that’s how I was adding things up. But if you know me, you know math ain’t really my thing.
Poor old Lot’s wife is looking in the wrong direction and not necessarily because she wants to hang on. I mean, sure it could’ve been her comfort zone, even if it was a pretty uncomfortable place to be; But maybe this whole ‘looking back’ is simply because it’s the only thing that she knows. She doesn’t know any better or any different. She’s spent a significant portion of her life there. She may not be trying to ‘look backward’ or hang on.
Whether it’s her identity or her heart, it’s a part of her. She might not know how to separate or disconnect.
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Or what about this-
The second thing that I see is pride and insecurity.
Could the ones praying be Lot, his family, or even his wife? Who knows?
Sometimes we know the situation that we’re in is bad too. We pray about it. The Lord brings a solution and then we’re like “Nah, I’ll wait to see what’s behind door number two.”
-You didn’t have any food to eat and a neighbor invited you to dinner but you weren’t feeling social or you didn’t like what was on the menu. So you stayed home. Hungry.
Or you got the job but it wasn’t the one you wanted. So, you pass it all up and keep struggling along.
Then you’re mad because God didn’t answer the way that you wanted.
And insecurity—well, I talk a lot about that already on my blog and my own personal struggles with it. It doesn’t matter if it’s self-doubt, false humility, or how ‘you’re just being honest with your lack of x, y, z …’ it’s related to your ego. It’s on the pride spectrum.
But remember Proverbs 16:18 says that “Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall.”
When the good Lord asks you to step out and do a new thing and you pull back then cover it up because it doesn’t match what you believe or who you’ve established yourself to be – that’s pride and that’s a sin.
Third, what about rubberneckin' (sometimes also mixed with comparison)?
Aren’t we all rubber-neckers to some degree? I mean you can’t drive down the road and pass someone pulled over on a shoulder, let alone having some sort of intervention, without at least glancing at it. Sodom was where Lot’s wife lived. Shouldn’t she be interested in what was happening to it?
Sometimes, we’re just too curious about things that aren’t or are no longer our business. –Like people’s opinions of us. You might feel the Lord leading you to do x, y, z but first, you have to check with ‘so and so’ to see if that really makes sense and if it doesn’t make sense to them, then maybe it won’t for you either.
When God tells you to move on, and you’re still hanging around, checking in, it can burn you.
Remember that verse ‘Love of the world leads to death’. We may intend to be obedient to the Lord’s calling, but if we can’t break out of our comfort zone because it’s uncomfortable- or if we don’t do something because someone or something ‘in the world’ is holding us back. – It’s sin.
Both ways [love of your way and love of the world’s way] lead to death.
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Fourth and last – how about simply not paying attention – or not being present?
What if she suddenly remembered that she forgot something? The Lord didn’t tell her that she could take anything but maybe ‘reflex’ turned her head around. –You know like ‘Oh crap, did I leave the iron on’? –or did she forget the pictures?
Do any of you have reflexes or reactions? They just kick in before you even have time to process? You really have to be ‘alert’ to override your reflexes. (This means not getting so far ahead of all of the things that you have to do-- that you aren’t paying attention to where you’re at. It’s a critical moment. Tune in!)
Romans 8:6 tells us that “The mind governed by the flesh (maybe that incessant worry or to do list) is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit (trusting in the present) is life and peace.”
That might be my own emphasis but ouch! – We’ve all got reflexes, right?
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Whatever her reason was, she was not obedient when it came the appointed time. Even though she may not have been trying to be ‘disobedient’. The Lord gave one tiny little command…
and she became a pillar…
Like a monument.
But our example? –It may become one that is used to show others how not to be or what consequences will come, for eternity.
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Well, here’s what I know about salt:
· It gives things flavor and makes food taste better by bringing out the better qualities of the other ingredients.
· It can make us thirsty or whet our appetites.
“You are the salt of the earth. But if salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again. It’s no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.”
I think the use of the word 'salt’ here embodies the promise of who we are to be called to be- [the salt of the earth].
· Light and encouragement, loving and kind, serving and helping – essentially making things better for others, and glorifying God.
· We are encouraged to whet appetites so that others want to drink from the word of God.
· Both of those bullets get better as we spend time with him and get to know God personally; growing in our own faith. That is where the healing part comes in.
If you’ve tuned out, please hear this-
By that ‘monument that she’s made of salt’ – I think it stands as a reminder that by looking back (regardless of the reason), you’re not only dissolving your future but dissolving the better part of it and what the Lord has promised us in His Word.
Bam, right?
I mean think about it. So many of us struggle with a lack of confidence, shame, guilt, regret, grief, insecurity, etc. You name it. We let it slide because it is so overwhelming that it must be bigger than us. It must be who we are or how we were made to be. –Like that thorn that was never removed from Paul.
But that’s exactly how a stronghold looks and works in our lives. It is something that has a ‘strong hold’ and keeps you from looking ahead, from believing, from moving forward. If the devil can get you to stay there, then he might keep you from the victory that lies ahead.
I can’t think of any hold stronger than to be forever preserved as a pillar of unfulfilled promises.
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Now let that settle for a minute because I’m going to jump tracks show you how to move forward, using the example that I see in Bartimaeus.
Alright, you ready? (Feel free to pause if you need more time.)
In Mark 10:46-52 we see a blind man named Bartimaeus that encounters Jesus. The text reads:
Then they came to Jericho. As Jesus and his disciples, together with a large crowd, were leaving the city, a blind man, Bartimaeus was sitting by the roadside begging. When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!” Many rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!” Jesus stopped and said, “Call him.” So they called to the blind man, “Cheer up! On your feet! He’s calling you.” Throwing his cloak aside, he jumped to his feet and came to Jesus. “What do you want me to do for you?” Jesus asked him. The blind man said, “Rabbi, I want to see.” “Go,” said Jesus, “your faith has healed you.” Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus along the road.
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I repeat: “Go. Your faith has healed you.” Then immediately the man received his sight and followed Jesus along the road.
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In many ways, my faith has also healed me. But doesn’t it come in increments? I can tell you specific areas where I have been healed but there is ALWAYS something that we are blind to. Like the blind man, the only way to receive that spiritual sight is with a little ‘come to Jesus meeting’ of your own.
Allowing ourselves to ‘be present’ sitting and waiting on the Lord. Ready to engage! This will also require that we’re willing to get really honest and to the point about what’s going on with you. Then moving forward from that place. (And sometimes no matter how ‘honest’ we are with ourselves, we’re still blind to our own personal truths. It’s a good thing Jesus can come to us. And he’ll lay it on ya when you’re ready.)
What I love about this image is that verse 50 says “He threw his cloak aside”. Basically, you’re going to have to let some things go.
Is it the things that you hide behind or under? Is it the things that others identify you with, like your reputation, or is it the things that bring you comfort? – You might need to give something up in exchange for the thing that you’re asking for.
The very next line is – He jumped to his feet. He took Action. He tried something not really knowing how it was going to work out.
That’s not really all that surprising though is it? How many things do we think we know because of our experience, or our religion, or our education? It’s hard to ‘unknow’ something! –Yet, we’re more blind, with what we know, than someone who’s never had the experience. It’s a lot easier to learn something for the first time than to unlearn it another way first.
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Can you imagine with me for a minute if you will, what that might have been like for him now that can suddenly see? So check in and go slow with me…
· He’s still going to have to practice some new interactions. –He hasn’t left the place and he’s not technically a different person.
o It’s the same with any habit, like quitting smoking – you may not be able to have that cup of coffee in the morning, or sit with your spouse outside to rehash the day because that’s where you both smoke together.
o When you quit drinking, you may not be able to go to some of the places that you used to go. Even if it’s your dearest friends house.
o When you join a recovery program, you might have to turn the whole world off and be alone a lot more, to get to the heart of those truths and learn your why and how to heal them.
o Practicing faith, leaving a job, starting a hobby—ANY CHANGE will require you to do a new thing when you leave the old, even when it doesn’t ‘feel’ right or feel like you. But that feeling is only temporary. Give it time.
· Another thing that might be awkward for him is that he may not recognize someone or something just by what it looks like.
o He’s going to have to introduce himself to people that he already knows in order to adjust himself.
o He might have to study things that he’s accustomed to working with in order to recognize what they look like by sight alone.
o He might see something for the first time that he has never even been aware of before and then learn what it does, for example, like the sun or clouds.
o Just the same for us, sometimes, our transition, whatever it is, is going to require a lot more study time than what we’re accustomed to. Even when we think we have a pretty good idea.
o I mean, can you just imagine how ‘hungry’ Bartimaeus would be to see everything now that his eyes are opened? –Or how exhausting that might be because everything he’s known will have this whole other layer that he now has to get to know.
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Either way, Lottie and Bart both had instructions. He followed. She did not. He was healed. She was kept and even preserved in that place of destruction and un-fulfillment, forever.
So let’s recap what we see from Lottie and Bart
She had a dozen reasons that she could not have been looking forward. Any single one of them could leave us turning out like her with a permanent example of what not to do. But if you want to be like Bart, gaining sight, healing, or even a testimony of your own, then you’re going to have to do things like he did.
1. You’re going to have to learn to sit and wait, (Study time and having an encounter with God or learning to be present).
2. You’re going to have to let some other things go.
3. Ask for the revelation or instruction.
4. Take action (jump to feet).
5. And follow…
Yep, just like we’ve heard a thousand times….
Trusting all those verses that you’ve heard before. That the God who sees hearts and knows you at your core is the same God who came to save (not judge) and says that ALL of your sins are forgiven, and ALL of your wounds are healed-- You’re going to have to walk away from that moment and believe it. No matter how you think, or how you feel, or how the world around you is shifted in response.
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If this post speaks to you and you feel like you’re stuck in an area, I encourage you to reach out to a Christian Counselor, and to others. Someone who can pray with you specifically in the areas that you need that can offer your personal guidance.
A testimony to top it off:
I do not consider myself to be a preacher or even have some ‘special calling’ in regards to sharing the Word. –The things that I write are sometimes reflections of my personal life, my prayer life, and my Bible Study, all rolled into one. They are my notes from my quiet time studying alone, and how I might apply them. (Kind of like Bartimaeus sitting and waiting to have that interaction with Jesus, even if it’s ‘only words on a page’, and what you imagine from that encounter and then research to back it up.)
But what you need to know is that I wrote 98% this post back in March of 2017 and just didn’t finish it. I even told a co-worker, that I felt like these two stories belonged together but that there was something that I was missing… I asked God to take me deeper but eventually, I put it aside and let it rest.
The end of 2017 came with a lot of blows that left me ‘forever changed’. In the beginning, the post made sense to me from previous victories. Yet, I was still blind to other areas that God was dealing with me in that season. Heck, I was blind to what I thought that I knew about myself…
It wasn’t until I started picking up pieces and working through them, that I realized that this post was guidance (prepared in advance) for me through that incredibly difficult ‘journey’.
I believe that he wants to do the same for you…
Psalms 139:5 tells us that the Lord hems us in – before and behind – like a stitch all the way around us. He knows where we’ve been and he’s already ahead of where we’re going.
You might decide to finally sit down with God and give him a try. In your efforts, you may even feel like he passed you by. You got nothing personal out of that time. I’d like to encourage you to do it again but here are a few things, I’d like you to remember ahead of time.
First, be like Bart – ask him to reveal it to you. You may not experience anything profound ‘immediately’ like Bartimaeus. But hold onto anything that sticks out or catches your attention. Maybe even make a note of it (like hiding it in your heart) or dig around the detail no matter how small it seems. You may be surprised when or where it surfaces again in the road up ahead.
And sometimes, again like Bartimaeus, you’re going to have to rely on other senses, like what you hear’ and in this case, just take my word for it.
I’ll be praying the words of Isaiah 30:21 over you: “Whether you go to the right or to the left, may you hear him behind you saying this is the way, go in it.”
Again, I can't help but find the irony that this post will be released at the beginning of a new year! I hope that it is a happy, profound, NEW one for you!
