Life Sanctity

**I backdated this post to keep the events in order.  It seemed like it might keep things easier to follow. 

I hadn’t planned on writing this month. However, this is Human Life Sanctity week and I spoke at church this this past Sunday (January 19). If you're not familiar with Human Life Sanctity, it was established in 1983 by Ronald Reagan as a reminder of the value of Human Life. Every year it falls on the Sunday closest to the anniversary of Rowe verses Wade being passed by congress.

You may not remember but last March I shared my darkest secret. 

This past Sunday for the first time ever, I gave a public testimony not only mentioning my abortion but the whole testimony was about the subject. I gave it in both services. I wrestled with words, not wanting to repeat what I've already written here.  I rehearsed it 20 times in the bathroom mirror hoping to not have to refer to notes on stage, but had to anyway. The day before, I was diagnosed with strep and felt completely miserable and drained. I knew it was the devil trying to keep me from getting up there.

I had a tremendous amount of support from members and staff. People prayed with me and encouraged me. On stage I was okay with what I had to say, aside from feeling physically ill. 

After service people came up to offer more encouragement. -To offer help for my classes in any way that they could by, baking snacks, providing resources and/or time, etc… For some reason, I never saw any of that coming.

A couple told me that their daughter was called out to some pro-abortion events. (I may have misunderstood). They said that their daughter was able to save lives when she went to these things and that she just got called to another event. My testimony helped them have peace with what she was doing. I hate that I didn't get their names or the details straight but people were lining up from each direction to speak. It was a bustle of hugs and tears and introductions. Many names I wished that I had gotten, or would've been able to remember.

There was a sweet lady that was interrupted and went away in tears. Her son has tried to kill himself over choosing an abortion 4 years ago. I wanted to make everything stop so that I could go catch her but another face came into view and another story. She vanished before I could lift my hand.

As I left the church my mind was reeling. Days have gone by and I have no new registrations for the class. Maybe all of this was only to create awareness. What else could I have said…?

To say that I am surprised by the way that these things are unfolding is an understatement. It was fear that kept me from having a child. It was fear that kept me from facing God or even myself after. It was fear that kept me from bringing it up again after it had been ‘dealt with’. It was fear that kept me from wanting to include it in the sum of my truths to people that barely know me. 

However, the realities of opening up to that truth in addition to so many others has brought so much more freedom.  It has further ignited the desire within me to reach out and just keep reaching. -To open up and fight to stay open. God has met me every single time and brought his entourage of angels and friends for my behalf as he has promised. While I can't go back and no longer try to; I am now convinced that he would've met me just as strongly back then as he is doing now, had I only sought his hand. Despite my rebellion, he is still with me.

I don’t know where you are in your journey friend but do not be afraid. As it states in Isaiah 41, the Lord is with you. The chapter is long but the first 16 verses just seemed to reverberate through me as I reflect on the truths I’ve learned and am still learning. Where ever you are, press on friend, press on. You are NOT alone.

¹“Be silent before me, you islands!

    Let the nations renew their strength!

Let them come forward and speak;

    let us meet together at the place of judgment.

² “Who has stirred up one from the east,

    calling him in righteousness to his service^[a]?

    Jacob, whom I have chosen,

He hands nations over to him

    and subdues kings before him.

He turns them to dust with his sword,

    to windblown chaff with his bow.

³ He pursues them and moves on unscathed,

    by a path his feet have not traveled before.

⁴ Who has done this and carried it through,

    calling forth the generations from the beginning?

I, the Lord—with the first of them

    and with the last—I am he.”

⁵ The islands have seen it and fear;

    the ends of the earth tremble.

They approach and come forward;

⁶     they help each other

    and say to their companions, “Be strong!”

⁷ The metalworker encourages the goldsmith,

    and the one who smooths with the hammer

    spurs on the one who strikes the anvil.

One says of the welding, “It is good.”

    The other nails down the idol so it will not topple.

⁸ “But you, Israel, my servant,

    you descendants of Abraham my friend,

⁹ I took you from the ends of the earth,

    from its farthest corners I called you.

I said, ‘You are my servant’;

    I have chosen you and have not rejected you.

¹⁰ So do not fear, for I am with you;

    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

¹¹ “All who rage against you

    will surely be ashamed and disgraced;

those who oppose you

    will be as nothing and perish.

¹² Though you search for your enemies,

    you will not find them.

Those who wage war against you

    will be as nothing at all.

¹³ For I am the Lord your God

    who takes hold of your right hand

and says to you, Do not fear;

    I will help you.

¹⁴ Do not be afraid, you worm Jacob,

    little Israel, do not fear,

for I myself will help you,” declares the Lord,

    your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel.

¹⁵ “See, I will make you into a threshing sledge,

    new and sharp, with many teeth.

You will thresh the mountains and crush them,

    and reduce the hills to chaff.

¹⁶ You will winnow them, the wind will pick them up,

    and a gale will blow them away.

But you will rejoice in the Lord

    and glory in the Holy One of Israel.

Click here to read the remaining verses (through 29).