On two different occasions over the weekend, other people reported Ethan appearing with money. The amounts were small but it's been a while since he has earned any allowance. He has been known to save money and hold out for a while but both instances struck me as odd. -All the more so once they happened back to back.
I didn't want to accuse him of anything since he hadn't been caught actually doing anything wrong. But I also didn't want to turn a blind eye if this was something bigger. As I prayed about how to approach him, one of my own similar experiences as a child came to mind. On Monday, I decided that after dinner that evening I would ask him.
I genuinely believe that he didn't take it but he's at an age where he's trying out different things. I am really not sure that I could tell if he were lying. So, after he told me that the money was his, I told Ethan about my own experience.
I explained to him that my grandmother always had one dollar bills in her purse. When I was his age, I began sneaking some of them from her. Every day she would go into the den with a book and lie down, eventually drifting to sleep. A few of those times, I slipped into her room and went to her purse to remove one or two of the paper bills. They were only a dollar and so I didn't think that they would really amount to much. I told myself that she might not even notice or care.
If she did know, I don't ever recall her confronting me. I know that she would have given me anything that I wanted. Yet, I wonder how much it did or would've hurt her just because I didn't feel that I could ask.
To go on further, I will never forget the day that I got married. After the ceremony, when we returned home, she led me to my bedroom and closed the door. When the noise from the other side was silenced, she leaned in close to tell me how proud she was of Colin and of me and then slipped me an envelope with a twenty-five hundred dollars.
It might not seem so significant here on a blog or even to a young boy but my grandmother didn't work away from the home. My grandfather provided for their needs. While he gave her money and didn't withhold things from her; I knew that she had saved her change and extra dollars over the years in order to give me a significant gift that came exclusively from what was hers.
The years that passed from my childhood to marriage were many and I know that I didn't take money from her more than a handful of times. Even so, as I repeat the story I wondered how much longer she might have had to save those extra dollars to make up for the ones that I got away with as a child. -Only to later give them to me anyway...
I wanted Ethan to connect to this story. When his face went pale and the outer edges of his eyes started turning red, I knew that he understood what my heart was trying to say. It really didn't matter what he did or didn't do. He got the point and that was all that mattered.
I continued with Ethan that just as she loved me, the rest of the family loved him too. While some things might not seem like much to us, to others it can make all the difference. If he had a need, we'd all be glad to try to help him out. We expected him to ask us first and wouldn't tolerate any kind taking for his own.
Throughout that night and the next day, I couldn't stop thinking about that story. While it was still touched me, I asked God what other significance that it could have right now. Then I thought about how even as adults, we still sometimes focus on trying to get just a little bit more for ourselves. Maybe it’s still in the form of a dollar here or there. Maybe it’s only in 5 minutes more or an hour. Maybe it’s even in a secret pleasure or covet that we just want to participate in without anyone knowing.
Just like it would have hurt my Grandmother for me to not ask her for things that I wanted or needed- In so many ways, I think of how that compares to our relationship with our Heavenly Father. He already gave us the most important thing that he had and yet we still struggle with or avoid asking for the little... Then we often try to get it for ourselves another way.
Or what about the fact that he did give us more than most of us would ever want to pay and we still act as if it's nothing...
While some things seem to take a while to come together; we also mature in different ways. In our walk with Christ, we often discover that he gives us so much more than we ever thought he could. But it's often not until we're willing to see what he can do, that we are able to understand the significance of what's already been done. SUDDENLY- we realize just how far away we are. It is then that we wonder why we ever waited so long to come to him...
Ephesians 3:20-21 - Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
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