I don't know if any of you have ever read the "Purpose Driven Life” but I did years ago. Upon completion, I had made the connection between a significantly painful area in my life and a potential ministry opportunity later on down the road. I knew that it wasn't time then and figured that I would get that confirmation later if or when that changed.
In the last year or so, I have started to feel as if that time is approaching. Then with the realization that all of this writing is simply a continuation of testimony, I told God that if he needed me to talk about it; then he was going to have to take me back to that place so that I could remember. I know that sometimes it's easier to connect with someone when you can speak on their behalf.
It's funny how God reveals a tiny but significant piece of the puzzle, like that testimony bit, and I suddenly feel like I need to DO something different. I've spent the better part of the last week engulfed in feelings that needed sorting, actions that might need doing. Some were mine and some were God's. I was so stuck on "WHAT TO DO" and when.
Yesterday, I thought about unraveling a necklace. I'm sure most of you can recall having a fine and delicate chain that had become heavily knotted. You start to unravel one knot and almost get it free and then the whole knot slips further or tighter somewhere else or new knot forms. We try again and the same thing happens and so we switch to another side. At some point we start thinking, my fingers are just too big, if only I had a tool, perhaps a needle... When even that doesn't work, we get so frustrated. We know that if we continue, we're going to break it. We need to put it down.
That's kind of where I have been this week. I want the whole thing unraveled. If not for me, perhaps it's for someone else but I want the perfect resolution(s) to each one of those knots. The devil knows this too and if I get too frustrated and act in haste, I can ruin the whole thing. Or he's trying to get me so afraid of the consequences that I put it back in the box, hopefully for good.
Discernment can be very difficult. Good intentions can seem like the right answer and you can find a bible verse to justify just about any one of them. But even good intentions can be sin if it wasn't God's timing or even his instruction. I realize now that I'm the one that asked God to take me back to that place. He did. He showed me where each one of those knots were. I was able to capture a lot of different angles but he hasn't asked me to do anything yet.
I kind of knew that this was going to be a year of waiting on the Lord. That is very hard for me. I am such a happy little doer. It's no wonder that he doesn't show us more to his plan all at once. look how easy it is for us to get carried away with just an idea.
I also have to laugh a little at God's humor. One of my favorite verses is (Ecclesiastes 4:6 NIV) "Better one handful with tranquility than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind." I'll let you guess which one he used to talk to me about this.
Either way, he has all of the tools that are needed. I just need to keep my hands out of it. God will make it what it should be in time.
In the last year or so, I have started to feel as if that time is approaching. Then with the realization that all of this writing is simply a continuation of testimony, I told God that if he needed me to talk about it; then he was going to have to take me back to that place so that I could remember. I know that sometimes it's easier to connect with someone when you can speak on their behalf.
It's funny how God reveals a tiny but significant piece of the puzzle, like that testimony bit, and I suddenly feel like I need to DO something different. I've spent the better part of the last week engulfed in feelings that needed sorting, actions that might need doing. Some were mine and some were God's. I was so stuck on "WHAT TO DO" and when.
Yesterday, I thought about unraveling a necklace. I'm sure most of you can recall having a fine and delicate chain that had become heavily knotted. You start to unravel one knot and almost get it free and then the whole knot slips further or tighter somewhere else or new knot forms. We try again and the same thing happens and so we switch to another side. At some point we start thinking, my fingers are just too big, if only I had a tool, perhaps a needle... When even that doesn't work, we get so frustrated. We know that if we continue, we're going to break it. We need to put it down.
That's kind of where I have been this week. I want the whole thing unraveled. If not for me, perhaps it's for someone else but I want the perfect resolution(s) to each one of those knots. The devil knows this too and if I get too frustrated and act in haste, I can ruin the whole thing. Or he's trying to get me so afraid of the consequences that I put it back in the box, hopefully for good.
Discernment can be very difficult. Good intentions can seem like the right answer and you can find a bible verse to justify just about any one of them. But even good intentions can be sin if it wasn't God's timing or even his instruction. I realize now that I'm the one that asked God to take me back to that place. He did. He showed me where each one of those knots were. I was able to capture a lot of different angles but he hasn't asked me to do anything yet.
I kind of knew that this was going to be a year of waiting on the Lord. That is very hard for me. I am such a happy little doer. It's no wonder that he doesn't show us more to his plan all at once. look how easy it is for us to get carried away with just an idea.
I also have to laugh a little at God's humor. One of my favorite verses is (Ecclesiastes 4:6 NIV) "Better one handful with tranquility than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind." I'll let you guess which one he used to talk to me about this.
Either way, he has all of the tools that are needed. I just need to keep my hands out of it. God will make it what it should be in time.
No comments:
Post a Comment