Redeemed

This morning on my way to work, I just started thinking about how much my life has changed in the last couple of years. -How much motherhood has changed me. -How much faith has changed me.

Sometimes on a blog it might seem like I think too much about myself or my things but there's verse that says to remove your own plank before looking at another. That verse has really meant something to me. How can I get closer to God? Isn't that plank the wedge in between? How can I remove as much sin as I can from my life? Obviously there are still places where I still have lots of sin but don't we all...

Then a song comes on the radio that says "complete me because I'm yours completely..." It just seemed to embody EVERYTHING that I've been learning. Shifting into. It's like YES, that ONE line is the key. Just look at how much God has bridged all of these gaps in my life and filled all of these voids and is still filling.

I think of the post that I wrote about my husband, and a marriage between a man and woman or Christ and the church; how I didn't know that I was so untrusting. The closer I get to God, the more I realize just how far away that I was.  ...somewhere else.

We turn into my mother's neighborhood and Jackson is fascinated, pointing and yelling from the backseat "Whuts-dat mama? Whuts-dat?" I look out my window and notice the fog and it is so thick that it looks like a blanket hovering above the field. In just the way that the light was shining, it was so thick and so pretty.

Sophie and I roll the windows down and I pull over to take a picture with my cell phone. There is this tree and it's really not even a pretty tree. Infact a good part of this tree is dead but the way that it's in this light, it just stands out so separately and it looks so different to me. I know what it is but I see something else instead.

And gosh that's what faith is [doing] to me!

I can't put that more into words. I've tried to answer that question for such a long time. What is faith? While I have no stinking clue about so many other things, I am so thankful to be at this place now! The tears form in my eyes and then they spill over and run down my cheek.

Another song comes on by Big Daddy Weave, called "Redeemed".  Sophie turns to me and asks me why I'm crying. All I can muster up the words to say is, because I love God that much.  -And the look on her face... I wish that I could have frozen it right there. It was a look of  total satisfaction. As if she was glad that I knew that answer.

I continue on that one of my sincerest prayers is that she and each of her brothers and her Daddy love God that much too.

Then we continue to listen to the song. Then she asks me what the word redeemed means. It was such an emotional discussion. Don't you remember waiting as a child to be just a little bit older or even an adult. Waiting to make decisions and waiting to be big. Then you get there. Somehow it's not every where you thought you would be; you're still waiting for another place.  -Waiting to find something.

But just like that tree, when you get into the light, SUDDENLY, you've been found. Loved in spite of your flaws. Right where you are, gaps overflowing. Wanted. Saved. Bought with his blood. Cherished. Forgiven. Healed. Delighted in. Chosen.

Redeemed...

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. -1 Peter 4:8

It is the glory of God to conceal a matter; to search out a matter is the glory of kings. -Proverbs25:2

Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever;

wisdom and power are his.

He changes times and seasons; he deposes kings and raises up others.

He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning.

He reveals deep and hidden things;

he knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with him.

I thank and praise you, God of my ancestors:

You have given me wisdom and power,

you have made known to me what we asked of you,

you have made known to us the dream of the king.

-Daniel 2:20-23